Edward Hoch - Isaac Asimov's Worlds of Fantasy. Book 6 - Mythical Beasties

How the Fairies Were Not Invited to Court Once upon a time there reigned in Pantouflia a king and a queen. With'almost everything else lo make them happy, they wanted one thing: they had no children. This vexed the King even more than the Queen, who was very clever and teamed, and who had hated dolls when she was a child. However, she too, in spite of all me books she read and all the pictures she painted, would have been glad enough to be a mother of a little prince. The King was anxious to consult the faines, but the Queen would not hear of such a thing. She did not believe in fairies: she said that they had never existed; and that she maintained, though The History of the Royal Family was mil of chapters about nothing else.

Well, at long and at last they had a little boy, who was generally regarded as the finest baby that had ever been seen. Even Her Majesty herself remarked that, though she could never believe all the courtiers told her, yet he certainly was a fine child-a very fine child.

Now the time drew near for the christening party, and the King and Queen were sitting at breakfast in their summer parlour talking over it. It was a splendid room, hung with portraits of the royal ancestors. There was Cinderella, the grandmother of the reigning monarch, with her little fool in her glass slipper thrust out before her. There was the Marquis de Carabas, who, as everyone knows, was raised to the throne as prince consort after his marriage with the daughter of the king of the period. On the arm of the throne was seated his celebrated cat. wearing boots. There, too, was a portrait of a beautiful lady, sound asleep: this was Madame La Belle au Bois-dormant, also an ancestress of the royal family.

Many other pictures of celebrated persons were hanging on the walls.

"You have asked all the right people, my dear?" said the King.

"Everyone who should be asked," answered the Queen.

"People are so touchy on these occasions," said His Majesty. "You have not forgotten any of our aunts?"

"No; the old cats!" replied the Queen; for the King's aunts were old-fashioned, and did not approve of her, and she knew it.

"They are very kind old ladies in their way," said the King, "and were nice to me when I was a boy."

Then he waited a little, and remarked: "The fairies, of course, you have invited? It has always been usual in our family, on an occasion like this; and I think we have neglected them a little of late."

"How can you be so absurdV cried the Queen. "How often must I tell you that there are no fairies? And even if there were-but, no matter; pray let us drop the subject."

"They are very old friends of our family, my dear, that's all," said the King timidly. "Often and often they have been godmothers to us. One, in particular, was most kind and most serviceable to Cinderella I, my own grandmother."

"Your grandmother!" interrupted Her Majesty. "Fiddledee-dee' If anyone puts such nonsense into the head of my little Prigio-"

But here the baby was brought in by the nurse, and the Queen almost devoured it with kisses. And so the fairies were not invited! It was an extraordinary thing, but none of the nobles could come to the christening party when they learned that the faines had not been asked. Some were abroad; severa! were ill; a few were in prison among the Saracens; others were captives in the dens of ogres. The end of it was that the King and Queen had to sit down alone, one at each end of a very long table, arrayed with plates and glasses for a hundred guests-for a hundred guests who never came!

"Any soup, my dear?" shouted the King, through a speaking-trumpet; when suddenly the air was filled with a sound like the rustling of the wings of birds.

Flitter, flitter, flutter, went the noise; and when the Queen looked up, lo and behold! on every seat was a lovely fairy, dressed in green, each with a most interesting-looking parcel in her hand. Don't you like opening parcels? The King did, and he was most friendly and polite to the fairies. But the Queen, though she saw them distinctly, took no notice of them. You see, she did not believe in fairies, nor in her own eyes, when she saw mem. So she talked across the fairies to the King. just as if they had not been there; but the King behaved as politely as if they were real-which, of course, they were.

When dinner was over, and when the nurse had brought in the baby, all the fairies gave him the most munificent presents. One offered a purse which could never be empty; and one a pair of seven-league boots; and another a cap of darkness, that nobody might see the Prince when he put it on; and another a wishing-cap; and another a carpet, on which, when he sat, he was carried wherever he wished to Find himself.

Another made him beautiful forever; and another, brave; and another, lucky; but me last fairy of all, a cross old thing, crept up and said: "My child, you shall be too clever!"

This fairy's gift would have pleased the Queen, if she had believed in it, more than anything else, because she was so clever herself. But she took no notice at ail; and the fairies went each to her own country, and none of them stayed there at the palace, where nobody believed in them, except the King, a little. But the Queen tossed all their nice boots and caps, carpets, purses, swords and all away into a dark lumber room; for, of course, she thought that they were all nonsense, and merely old rubbish out of books or whatever.

Prince Prigio and His Family Well, the little prince grew up. I think I've told you that his name was Prigio-did I not? Well, that was his name. You cannot think how clever he was. He argued with his nurse as soon as he could speak, which was very soon. He argued that he did not like to be washed because the soap got into his eyes. However, when he was told all about the pores of the skin, and how they could not be healthy if he was not washed, he at once ceased to resist, for he was very reasonable. He argued with his father that he did not see why there should be kings who were rich while beggars were poor, and why the King-who was a little greedy-should have poached eggs and plumcake at afternoon tea while many other persons went without dinner. The King was so surprised and hurt at these remarks that he boxed the Prince's ears, saying:*TU teach you to be too clever, my lad." Then he remembered the awful curse of the oldest fairy, and was sorry for the rudeness of the Queen. And when the Prince, after having his ears boxed, said that "force was no argument," the King went away in a rage.

Indeed, I cannot tell you how the Prince was hated by all!

He would go down into the kitchen and show the cook how to make soup. He would visit the poor people's cottages and teach them how to make the beds, and how to make plumpudding out of turnip-tops and venison cutlets out of rusty bacon. He showed the fencing-master how to fence, and the professional cricketer how to bowl, and instructed the ratcatcher in breeding terriers. He sent sums to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and assured the Astronomer Royal that the sun does not go round the earth-which, for my part, I believe it does. The young ladies of the Court disliked dancing with him, in spite of his good looks, because he was always asking: "Have you read this?" and "Have you read that?"-and when they said they hadn't, he sneered; and when they said they had, he found them out.

He found out all his tutors and masters in the same horrid way; correcting the accent of his French teacher, and trying to get his German tutor not to eat peas with his knife. He also endeavoured to teach the Queen-dowager, his grandmother, an art with which she had long been perfectly familiar! In fact, he knew everything better than anybody else; and the worst of it was that he did: and he never was in the wrong, and he always said; "Didn't I tell you so?" And, what was more, he had\ As time went on, Prince Prigio had two younger brothers, whom everybody liked. They were not a bit clever, but jolly.