Edward Hoch - Isaac Asimov's Worlds of Fantasy. Book 6 - Mythical Beasties

Well, the Prince walked into the Bear, and it seemed odd to him that nobody took any notice of him. And yet his face was as well known as that of any man in Pantouflia; for everybody had seen it, at least in pictures. He was so puzzled by not being attended to as usual that he quite forgot to take off his cap. He sat down at a table, however, and shouted "Kellner!" at which all the waiters jumped, and looked round in every direction, but nobody came to him. At first he thought they were too busy, but presently another explanation occurred to him.

"The King," said he to himself, "has threatened to execute anybody who speaks to me, or helps me in any way.

Well, I don't mean to starve in the midst of plenty, anyhow; here goes!"

The Prince rose and went to the table in the midst of the room, where a huge roast turkey had just been placed. He helped himself to half the breast, some sausages, chestnut stuffing, bread sauce, potatoes, and a bottle of red wine- Burgundy. He then went back to a table in a comer, where he dined very well, nobody taking any notice of him. When he had finished, he sat watching the other people dining, and smoking his cigarette. As he was sitting thus, a very tall man, an officer in the uniform of the Guards, came in, and, walking straight to the Prince's table, said: "Kellner, clean this table, and bring in the bill of fare."

With these words, the officer sat down suddenly in the Prince's lap, as if he did not see him at all. He was a heavy man, and the Prince, enraged at the insult, pushed him away and jumped to his feet. As he did so, his cap dropped off.

The officer fell on his knees at once, crying: "Pardon, my Prince, pardon! I never saw you!"

This was more than the Prince could be expected to believe. "Nonsense! Count Frederick von Matterhom," he said,

"you must be intoxicated. Sir! you have insulted your Prince and your superior officer. Consider yourself under arrest!

You shall be sent to a prison tomorrow!"

On this, the poor officer appealed piteously to everybody in the tavern. They all declared that they had not seen the Prince, nor even had an idea that he was doing them the honour of being in the neighbourhood of their town.

More and more offended, and convinced that there was a conspiracy to annoy and insult him, the Prince shouted for the landlord, called for his bill, threw down his three pieces of gold without asking for change, and went into the street.

"It is a disgraceful conspiracy," he said. "The King shall answer for this! I shall write to the newspapers at once!"

He was not put in a better temper by me way in which people hustled him in the street. They ran against him exactly as if they did not see him, and then staggered back in the greatest surprise, looking in every direction for me person they had jostled. In one of these encounters, the Prince pushed so hard against a poor old beggar woman that she fell down. As he was usually most kind and polite, he pulled off his cap to beg her pardon, when, behold, the beggar woman gave one dreadful scream, and fainted! A crowd was collecting, and the Prince, forgetting that he had thrown down all his money in the tavern, pulled out his purse. Then he remembered what he had done, and expected to find it empty; but, lo, there were three pieces of gold in it! Overcome with surprise, he thrust the money into the woman's hand, and put on his cap again. In a moment the crowd, which had been staring at him, rushed away in every direction, with cries of terror, declaring that there was a magician in the town, and a fellow who coutd appear and disappear at pleasure!

By this time, you or I, or anyone who was not so extremely clever as Prince Prigio, would have understood what was me matter. He had put on, without knowing it, not only the seven-league boots, but the cap of darkness, and had taken Fortunatus's purse, which could never be empty, however often you took all the money out. All those and many other delightful wares the fairies had given him at his christening, and the Prince had found them in the dark garret. But the Prince was so extremely wise, and learned, and scientific, that he did not believe in fairies nor in fairy gifts.

"It is indigestion," he said to himself- "Those sausages were not of the best; and that Burgundy was extremely strong.

Things are not as they appear."

Here, as he was arguing with himself, he was nearly run over by a splendid carriage and six, the driver of which never took the slightest notice of him. Annoyed at this, the Prince leaped up behind, threw down the two footmen, who made no resistance, and so was carried to the door of a magnificent palace. He was determined to challenge the gentleman who was in the carriage; but noticing that he had a very beautiful young lady with him, whom he had never seen before, he followed them into the house, not wishing to alarm the girl, and meaning to speak to me gentleman when he found him alone.

A great ball was going on; but, as usual, nobody took notice of the Prince. He walked among the guests, being careful not to jostle them, and listening to their conversation.

It was all about himself! Everyone had heard of his disgrace, and almost everyonce cried, "Serve him right!" They said that the airs he gave himself were quite unendurable- that nothing was more rude than to be always in the right- that cleverness might be carried far too far-that it was better even to be bom stupid ("Like the rest of you," thought the Prince); and, in fact, nobody had a good word for him.

Yes, one had! It was the pretty lady of the carriage- I never could tell you how pretty she was. She was tall, with cheeks like white roses blushing, she had dark hair, and very large dark-grey eyes, and her face was the kindest in the world! The Prince first thought how nice and good she looked, even before he thought how pretty she looked. She stood up for Prince Prigio when her partner would speak ill of him. She had never seen the Prince, for she was but newly come to Pantouflia; but she declared that it was his misfortune, not his fault, to be so clever. "And then, think how hard they made him work at school! Besides," said this kind young lady, "1 hear he is extremely handsome, and very brave; and he has a good heart, for he was kind. I have heard, to a poor boy, and did all his examination papers for him, so that the boy passed first in everything. And now he is Minister of Education, though he can't do a line of Greek prose!"

The Prince blushed at this. for he knew his conduct had not been honourable. But he at once fell over head and ears in love with the young lady, a thing he had never done in his life before, because-he said-"women are so stupid!" You see he was so clever!

Now, at this very moment-when the Prince, all of a sudden, was as deep in love as if he had been the stupidest officer in the room-an extraordinary thing happened! Something seemed to give a whirr! in his brain, and in one instant he knew all about it! He believed in fairies and fairy gifts, and understood that his cap was the cap of darkness, and his shoes the seven-league boots, and his purse the purse of Fortunatus! He had read about those things in historical books: but now he believed in them.

The Prince Faffs in Love He understood all this, and burst out laughing, which nearly frightened an old lady near him out of her wits. Ah! how he wished he were only in evening dress, that he might dance with the charming young lady. But there he was, dressed just as if he were going out to hunt, if anyone couid have seen him. So, even if he took off his cap of darkness and became visible, he was no figure for a ball. Once he would not have cared, but now he cared very much indeed.

But the Prince was not clever for nothing. He thought for a moment, then went out of the room, and in three steps of the seven-league boots was at his empty, dark, cold palace again.