Orson Card - Ender in exile

"Mother," said Alessandra. "I'm not going with you."

"Yes you are."

"I'm sixteen," said Alessandra. "The law says I can decide for myself whether to join a colony."

"Nonsense."

"It's true. Valentine Wiggin joined this colony when she was only fifteen. Her parents didn't want her to, but she did it."

"Is that the lie she told you? It may seem romantic and brave, but you'll just be lonely all the time."

"Mother," said Alessandra. "I'm lonely all the time anyway."

Mother recoiled from her words. "How can you say that, you ungrateful little brat," she said. "I'm with you. You're never lonely."

"I'm always lonely," said Alessandra. "And you're never with me. You're with your darling angel fairy changeling child. And that's not me."

Alessandra turned away and headed back down the ramp.

She heard Mother's footsteps. No, she felt them, as the ramp bounced slightly under the impact of her feet.

Then she felt Mother shove her from behind, a brutal shove that threw her completely off balance. "Go, then, you little bitch!" Mother screamed.

Alessandra struggled to get her feet under her, but her upper body was moving far faster than her feet could match, and she felt herself falling forward, the ramp looking so steep, she was going to hit so hard and her hands wouldn't be able to hold her up —

All of those thoughts in a split second, and then she felt her arm grabbed from behind and instead of hitting the ramp she swung down and then up again and it wasn't Mother who caught her, Mother was still a few steps away, where she had been when she shoved her. This was Ensign Akbar, and his face looked so concerned, so kind.

"Are you all right?" he said, once he had her standing up.

"That's right!" Mother shouted. "Bring that ungrateful little brat right inside here."

"Do you want to go back to the ship with us?" asked Ensign Akbar.

"Of course she does," said Mother, who was now at Akbar's elbow. Alessandra could see the transformation in Mother's face as she switched from the screamer who called Alessandra a bitch and a brat to the sweet fairy queen. "My darling fairy child is only happy when she's with her mother."

"I think I want to stay here," said Alessandra softly. "Will you let me go?"

Ensign Akbar leaned over to her and whispered in her ear, exactly as Ender had done. "I wish I could stay here with you," he said. Then he stood up to military attention. "Good-bye, Alessandra Toscano. Have a happy life here in this good world."

"What are you saying! My husband will court-martial you for this!" The Mother moved past him, heading for Alessandra, a hand reaching out for her like the bony hand of death.

Ensign Akbar caught her by the wrist.

"How dare you," she hissed directly into his face. "You've signed your death warrant for mutiny."

"Admiral Morgan will approve of my preventing his wife from breaking the law," said Ensign Akbar. "He will approve of my allowing this free colonist to exercise her right to fulfil her contract and stay in this colony."

Mother put her face right up into his, and Alessandra could see how flecks of her spittle sprayed right into his mouth, his nose, and onto his chin and cheeks. Yet he didn't budge. "It won't be about this, you fool," she said. "It will be about the time you tried to rape me in a darkened room on the ship."

For a moment, Alessandra found herself wondering when such a thing might have happened, and why Mother didn't mention it at the time.

Then she realized: It hadn't happened. Mother only intended to say it had. She was threatening Ensign Akbar with a lie. And there was one thing for sure — Mother was a good liar. Because she believed her own lies.

But Akbar only smiled. "The lady Dorabella Morgan has forgotten something."

"What is that?"

"Everything is recorded." Then Akbar let go of Mother's wrist, turned her around, and gave her a gentle nudge up the ramp.

Alessandra couldn't help herself. She gave one short, sharp laugh.

Mother whirled around, her face full of rage. Looking so much like Grandmother. "Grandmother," Alessandra said aloud. "I thought we left her behind, but look, we brought her with us."

It was the cruelest thing Alessandra could have said, that was plain. Mother was dumbstruck with the pain of it. Yet it was also the simple truth, and Alessandra hadn't said it to hurt her mother, it had simply spilled out of her mouth the moment she realized it was so.

"Good-bye, Mother," said Alessandra. "Have lots of babies with Admiral Morgan. Be happy all the time. I wish you would. I hope you will." Then she let Ensign Akbar take her down the ramp.

Ender was there — he had come closer while Mother was distracting her, and Alessandra hadn't realized it. He had come for her after all.

She and Akbar reached the base of the ramp; she noticed that Ender did not set foot on it.

"Ensign Akbar," said Ender, "you're mistaken about Admiral Morgan. He will believe her, if only to have peace with her."

"I'm afraid you're right," he said. "But what can I do?"

"You can resign your commission. Both by real time and relativistic time, your term of enlistment has expired."

"I can't resign in mid-voyage," said Akbar.

"But you're not in mid-voyage," said Ender. "You're in a port that is under the authority of the Hegemony, in the person of myself, the governor."

"He won't let it happen," said Akbar.

"Yes he will," said Ender. "He will obey the law, because it's the same law that gives him his absolute authority during a voyage. If he breaks it against you, then it can be broken against him. He knows that."

"And if he didn't," said Akbar, "you're telling him right now."

Only then did Alessandra realize that their words were still being recorded.

"I am," said Ender. "So you don't have to face the consequences of defying Mrs. Morgan. You acted with complete propriety. Here in the town of Miranda, you'll be treated with the respect that a man of your integrity deserves." Ender turned and with a sweep of his hand indicated the whole settlement. "The town is very small. But look — it's so much larger than the ship."

It was true. Alessandra could see that now for the first time. That this place was huge. There was room to get away from people if you didn't like them. Room to carve out a space for yourself, to say things that nobody else could hear, to think your own thoughts.

I've made the right choice.

Ensign Akbar stepped off the end of the ramp. So did Alessandra. Back on the ramp, Mother howled something. But Alessandra did not make any sense of the sound. She could hear no words in it, though surely words were being said.

She didn't have to hear it. She didn't have to understand it. She no longer lived in Mother's world.

From: MinCol@ColMin.gov

To: Gov%ShakespeareCol@ColMin.gov

Subj: Unexpected colonists

Dear Ender,

I'm glad to hear that things are going so well in Shakespeare Colony. The successful assimilation of the new colonists is not being matched everywhere, and we have granted the petition of the governor of Colony IX that we not send them colonists — or a new governor — after all. In short, they have declared themselves even more independent than you have. (Your declaration that Shakespeare would accept no more offworld governors was cited as having prompted them to decide whether they wanted new colonists, so in a way this is all your fault, don't you think?)

Unfortunately, their declaration came when I already had a ship with several thousand colonists, a new governor, and a huge amount of supplies most of the way toward their planet. They left not very long after your ship. Now they're thirty-nine lightyears from home, and the party they were invited to has been canceled.