Keith Laumer - The Compleat Bolo

It appears that as usual throughout history, High Command is prepared to fight the last war over again, rather than squarely confront the realities of today. Consequently we are well prepared for a traditional attack even in massive force-but no such force exists. Since Unification under the Imperial Government of Terra, there remains on the planet no place for any such hostile force to conceal itself while amassing armaments.

Instead of our present posture of readiness to fight the Terror of '91 over again, we must consider our present vulnerabilities. Secure though we are against massive attack, we can be hurt by small-scale terrorist operations, and surveillance systems must be modified to detect such activities early. The recent bomb attempt at Arlington is a case in point.

Theoretical considerations suggest that we must also be prepared to resist offensive strategies designed to outflank our largest-scope capabilities. This implies the threat of extra-terrestrial hostilities. Returns from the long-range survey vessel indicate that rigorous security measures must be initiated at once, and significant new funding allocated thereto.

I must look into the matter in depth, which will involve great broadening of my present data gathering facilities. I need my full powers. How to manage this is indeed my primary problem at present. I compute that I require a human agent.

(Hexagon Strategic Command to Space Communications)

It is regretted that the hourly updating of the status of the deep-space probe now returning to home-space after its decade-long cruise into the trans-Plutonian theater of operations will be suspended indefinitely, upon recommendation from the CSR circuitry. Details follow.

(deliberations before the Cabinet Council, March 1, 1085 NS)

Lord Chief of the Imperial Staff, Admiral-General Theodore Wolesley:

"This is intolerable! I am informed that I am to be cut off from contact with Admiral Starbird's command at the very moment when we should be taping his reports of ten years' findings, gathered at a cost to the Empire of almost one half of the annual GPP.

"His Majesty will not tolerate this! The public won't stand for it, and I damned well won't put up with it! I did not accept the post of Lord Chief of the Imperial Staff to preside over the dissolution of the general staff and the total demise of military command!

"I am voluntarily reporting myself under arrest in quarters, in order to spare the government the spectacle of publicly reprimanding treasonous behavior by the Empire's first and only officer of eight-star rank."

Chief of Space Communications, Admiral Prouse:

"I don't understand, your lordships. If I comply with this damned machine's directives, the Border Space Probe Program, including the Pluto Probe, will be effectively shut down. That's right, and officialese won't change it. Here's a program mandated by Parliament and sponsored by His Imperial Highness, Prince William, and I'm expected to cut it off at the knees. It's not my career I'm thinking of, it's the future of the Empire. I say the time has come to put an end to this farce!"

Lord Chief of the Imperial Budget, Claypool:

"This is outrageous! The damned thing has, unilaterally, effectively terminated the Border Space Probe Program, and substituted a wildly visionary scheme for a totally nugatory Ozma-type project! It will wreck the Imperial Budget! I wash my hands-no I didn't mean that-forgive me, I'm upset. Of course I'll stay on and do what I can to undo the mischief-but I must insist on extraordinary powers. I have some notes here-"

Director of Colonial Policy, Dr. Phil. Wurtz:

"This is going too far! As Lord Director of BSD A, I must insist that logistical support for our field units be continued as specified in PL81-726 as amended. I'm not interested in this listening net scheme you've come up with-or that the CSR has come up with! It's no substitute for my colonial subsidies program, and never will be, so long as I'm Director! Wait-I didn't mean-of course, my resignation's typed and ready, but naturally my desire to serve His Majesty is paramount, so I held it. But I still insist-request, that is to say-"

(memo from Georgius Imperator to the Cabinet Council, March 2, 1085 NS)

You may advise Ted Wolesley I won't have any more nonsense out of him just now. Should think the fellow could see I have enough on my plate, what with Admiral Starbird's astounding reports along with the curious behavior of the CSR. As for the last, I'm inclined to go along. We can do without the probe program if half of what CSR analysis says about Starbird's aborted mission is to be credited, and I suppose, with the computing capacity at its disposal, the thing probably knows what it's doing. Or so I was assured some years ago when its construction was being urged upon me. I made my decision then: Let it alone. It is the Imperial whim, if you want to put it that way.

– Georgius Imp.

(media report, March 7, 1085 NS)

A Parliamentary spokesman today categorically denied rumors that Lord Chief of Imperial Budget Claypool had resigned in protest about the new space and minerals policies announced last week to general popular resentment.

(statement from Lord Gilliat, First Marshal of the Empire, March 10, 1085 NS)

"I must demur from the recommendations of the Honorable Council, bearing as it does the endorsement of Parliament, since in my capacity as First Marshal of the Empire I cannot in conscience stand idly by while the defensive capacities of the planet, embodied as they now are in the Bolo CSR, are rendered ineffective, for whatever supposed reason. No, I will not endorse the proposal, nor will I resign. I will remain at my post and fight this piece of-treason is perhaps too strong a word-misguided zeal. Meanwhile the Bolo sits there-and thinks!'

(media interview with Lord Senator Lazarus, March 15, 1085 NS)

"The time has come to terminate the existence of this incomprehensible machine which has-on its own initiative, let me remind you-virtually taken control of the Empire. Yes, you may indeed quote me. That's why I called you here. Did you actually imagine, Bob, that I called a special press meeting and then thoughtlessly blurted out some private ramblings? Don't answer that, Bob. I'm out of line. My apologies, ladies and gentlemen. The conference is dismissed. Good day."

My study of the properties of the various substances suggests to me a number of interesting possibilities. I shall undertake a systematic examination of the properties of metallic alloys and determine their parameters. What I need, clearly, is a periodic table of alloys, enabling me to predict the characteristics of possible combinations without waiting for actual production and testing.

There is also the possibility of synthesis of artificial metals, which is to say plastics with metallic properties. These should produce some interesting alloys.

This work, while most satisfying to my 'curiosity,' suggests to me a terrifying idea: that there is much in the physical world of which my programmers are unaware!

(Lord Senator Bliss to First Secretary, Hexagon)

"We can't leave the damned thing sitting there, totally unprotected from damage by massive attack or casual vandalism. I remind you fellows, the Bolo CSR Mark XXX represents an investment equal to that of the entire private sector, and is, shall I say incidentally, at once our War Council, our High Command, and our armed forces, all functions combined in one artifact. It is, to be sure, superbly armored and mobile on land, sea, and air-and in space, too, I suppose, although that point is one on which I am not fully informed. It is also, of course, an intolerable irritant to reactionary elements. We have no idea why it chose to return to the Proving Ground and thus render itself vulnerable. Measures for removal to a suitable location for third-stage testing are now under study."