Keith Laumer - The Compleat Bolo

No, the damage to the unit is slight-just some problems in the command circuitry, which will be analyzed and corrected by a maintenance team.

No, that's just a rumor that my men can't get near it. There is some residual danger of chemical contamination; you saw how those weeds are growing like Jack's beanstalk. Some sort of biochemical effect. I've ordered all personnel to stay clear until we've decontaminated the area, but that won't take long. The Bolo will be returned to the Proving Ground and testing resumed. No further comment, gentlemen.

With the domestic situation stabilized for the moment, I can turn my attention to the curious problem of the anomalous conduct of Admiral Starbird and the Pluto Probe. I compute that this is no mere mass aberration brought about by the abnormal conditions of the decade-long tour. I intuit a major threat.

I shall return to the Proving Ground. The fears of those who are alarmed by my absence will thus be allayed. Also, the slight hull damage I suffered must be corrected.

(report on the 11 o'clock news, November 7, 1084 NS)

The peaceful return of the Bolo CSR to the Erzona Proving Ground is confirmed. Despite some outcry from the press, depot maintenance is being performed and new hull plates have been installed. The damaged plates have been forwarded to HQ, R &D Command, for analysis. Previously reported damage to the Bolo's command circuitry is slight, and indeed already self-repaired. Plans for Stage Three activation remain in effect, I am informed by General Margrave.

(underground newsletter intercepted by Imperial Security, November 20, 1084 NS)

Don't worry. I'm drafting a follow-up letter to High and Mighty Georgy right now. Like this: "It is our sincere hope that this here incident has been a clear enough indication of the seriousness of our intentions. Next time, there'll be two-or more-charges set to blow simultaneously, at widely separated points, and let's see your iron monster squat on both of them!"

More later,

C. H. for the people

(received by Space Communications, backdated in line with photon gap to November 10, 1084)

Dear Folks,

Well, Chaplain says I ought to take this chance to get a note off to you. How's everything back home? Things here are (deleted). First few years was pretty dull, but then the nightmares come. (Deleted). Seems like a man can't hardly get no sleep, without these here big voices telling a feller he ought to cut his throat and like that. All the fellows have them. Officers, too. Well, I will close now, as I got the duty. See you next year, if (deleted).

– Charlie

(from the Log, Plutonian I, November 15, 1084 NS)

3541 days ex port

All systems in functional mode. All statutory observations accomplished (see att sched HI).

Personnel problems continue to plague this cruise. Three more crewmen have been confined after being taken in the act of attempting to sabotage their ship.

Unexplained communication blackout with base still in effect. Surely some explanation will be forthcoming soon. My decision to turn back at point One, rather than to continue with alternate schedule Two was not taken lightly. Something is seriously wrong, though I cannot be more specific.

(from the Imperial Senate Record, address by Lord Senator Dandridge, January 25, 1085 NS)

"It appears, gentlemen, that, her detractors' fears to the contrary notwithstanding, we are indebted to the new Bolo for extricating us from an awkward situation. You have seen the communications from these anarchists, and intelligence analysts assure me that the turncoat expatriate Mr. Melvin C. Hangar, former Private, Imperial Ground Forces, is at the bottom of it. He will be arrested, and appropriate action will be taken. In the meantime, I think we can agree that the new Bolo CSR has passed its tests with flying colors! But for its timely detection of the danger, and its prompt action, at risk to itself-yes, itself- none of us might be in this Chamber at this moment.

"If the honorable lordships will recall, since the Mark XXVII all Bolos have been self-aware and equipped with what can only be called an instinct for self-preservation, with the attendant capacity to experience pain. The CSR selflessly offered itself to protect some twelve hundred high-ranking officials and their families, residing within the range of primary effect of the device, which, I again confirm, was non-nuclear.

"I therefore propose that this Chamber vote a special Senatorial Award to the unit. It's the least we can do."

(comment by Lord Senator Lazarus)

"Dandridge is nuts, proposing to give a medal to that damned machine. As he admitted, all it did was what it was designed to do. Certainly, you may quote me on that. I don't make irresponsible remarks in the presence of mediamen."

(special report by the EMPIRE TODAY news team)

Residents of the Queen's Park area, claiming that the presence of what they term "the unsightly jungle" growing in the former park has reduced property values to a small fraction of true worth, have launched an all-out wait-in and march-by campaign to secure the removal of the wild-growing vegetation, and the return of the park to its former well-groomed condition.

(General Margrave, appearing before the Washington District Council)

"But that's just it, Mr. Mayor! I didn't designate Queen's Park as a test area for the machine. It selected the site itself, quite spontaneously, after turning away the force dispatched to divert it from its presumed route, which it appeared would have taken it through a residential area. For the present it will remain unrestrained.

"No, Mr. Councilman, there are at present absolutely no plans to bomb the device."

(an emanation from a dark crystal structure, at a distance of 17,000 light-years from Terra)

IT HAS BEEN CALLED TO OUR EXALTED ATTENTION THAT OUR PRELIMINARY ASSESSMENT UNIT HAS ENCOUNTERED PATTERNED MODULATED ELECTROMAGNETIC RADIATION STRUCTURES OF INEXPLICABLE COMPLEXITY.

WE DO NOT TOLERATE ANY INTERFERENCE WITH OUR EXALTED WILL, AND IT IS OUR EXALTED COMMAND THAT ASPECT-ONE FOLLOW-UP PROCEDURES BE EMPLOYED AT ONCE. THROUGHOUT THE VOLUME OF INTERFERENCE.

IF WE INDEED HAVE MADE CONTACT WITH ARTIFACTS OR ANOTHER MENTATIONAL SPECIES, THERE IS NO BETTER TIME THAN THE PRESENT TO CONFRONT IT AND SHOW IT WHO IS INDEED LORD OF ALL.

(reply to the above, from Pluto space)

this lowly being craves the indulgence of your exaltation to report that a forward probe made contact with what is described as an alien life-form, the apparent source of the anomalous radiation, evidently far gone in malnutrition, replying incoherently to our hail.

in response to the order for immediate self-immolation it uttered feeble symbols, including the identification "space transport" and the outré concept "friendship."

upon closer examination it was found that the strange being was infested with what can only be described as soft life forms, grublike entities which dissolved to paste and fluids on contact, it was not deemed important to clear the dying alien of its parasites completely, the derelict being left to drift in the void.

this lowly one awaits in patience the disposition which your Exaltation chooses to make of it.

I compute that I have not yet fully assimilated the unprecedented volume of data routed to me by MADCAP, but my preliminary impression is one of grave unease in many segments of the population, and of serious deficiencies in the overall security concept.