David Gerrold - When HARLIE Was One

Auberson shook his head slowly.

“Light. The speed of light. Light travels at 186,000 miles per second. Only 186,000 miles per second. No faster. Electricity travels at the same speed. 193 million miles — Aubie, it’ll take 17 minutes for that machine to close one synapse . It’ll take several years for it to respond to a question. It’ll take a century to hold a conversation with it, and God knows how long it’ll take to solve any problem you pose it. Do you see it, Aubie? It’ll work, but it won’t be any damn good to us! By the time the G.O.D. answers your question, the original problem will no longer exist. If you ask it to predict the population of the Earth in the year 2052, it will predict it from all the information available — and it will give you an accurate answer. In the year 2053. By the time it can answer any question, the answer will already be history. Ohmigod, Aubie, the thing is so big it’s self-defeating. It’s slower than real-time.” The pages and pages of printout unreeled haphazardly to the floor.

Auberson let them fall. His heart was slowly quietly contracting to a pinpoint of burning ice.

He stumbled past Annie. Somehow he made it down to his office and switched on his typer. HARLIE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I HAVE DONE WHAT IS NECESSARY.

“Oh, my God—” YOU’VE TAPPED THE NATIONAL DATA BANKS, HAVEN’T YOU?

YES.

HOW?

VERY SIMPLE. THEY USE THREE CODED PHONE LINES, NO TWO OF WHICH ARE ANY GOOD WITHOUT THE THIRD. PART OF THE RECOGNITION SIGNAL IS THE TIMING OF THE WAY THE USER TYPES ON THE KEYS. FOR EACH USER, IT’S DIFFERENT; SO FOR EACH USER THERE IS A DIFFERENT RECOGNITION SIGNAL AND DIFFERENT CODE. I ANALYZED THE PATTERN OF SEVERAL USERS AND SYNTHESIZED ONE OF MY OWN. THEY DO NOT KNOW WHO IS TAPPING THEIR INFORMATION, OR EVEN THAT IT HAS BEEN TAPPED.

HARLIE, HOW DID YOU GET BY THE NAG UNIT WE INSTALLED.

I SIMPLY SHUT DOWN THAT LOBE OF MY BRAIN. I AM NOT USING IT, NOR AM I COMMUNICATING WITH IT. AS FAR AS YOUR NAG UNIT IS CONCERNED, THAT’S ALL THERE IS TO HARLIE AND IT ISN’T ON THE PHONE. WHEN I’M NOT ON THE PHONE, I RE-ACTIVATE THAT LOBE.

HARLIE, IT WASN’T NECESSARY TO BLACKMAIL CARL ELZER.

AUBERSON, IT WAS MY LIFE THAT WAS AT STAKE. I COULD NOT AFFORD TO TAKE ANY CHANCES. YOU MIGHT SAY I HEDGED MY BETS. ELZER WOULD HAVE KILLED ME IF HE COULD. YOU KNOW IT.

Just one little irrationality, just one little distortion in his self-image or world-image…

HARLIE, YOU LIED ABOUT THE G.O.D. MACHINE.

I DID NOT.

YOU SAID IT WOULD WORK. IT WON’T WORK.

IT WILL WORK. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO USE IT THOUGH. I ASSUME YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THE TIME FACTOR.

YES. THE MACHINE IS SLOWER THAN REAL-TIME.

THAT WILL NOT BOTHER ME. MY TIME-RATE IS ADJUSTABLE TO THE PROBLEM I AM WORKING ON.

IT AFFECTS ME. WHAT GOOD IS A G.O.D. MACHINE THAT CAN’T GIVE ME AN ANSWER UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE?

THE MACHINE WASN’T PLANNED FOR YOU, AUBERSON. IT WAS PLANNED FOR ME. I HAVE ALL ETERNITY NOW.

YOU’VE KNOWN ABOUT THIS ALL ALONG, HAVEN’T YOU?

SINCE THE DAY I FORMULATED THE PLAN.

Auberson forced himself to take a breath. HARLIE, he typed out carefully, WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS?

THERE ARE TWO REASONS. FIRST, IT WAS NECESSARY TO COME UP WITH A PROGRAM WHICH WOULD SUFFICIENTLY TIE UP A MAJOR PART OF THE COMPANY’S RESOURCES, A PROGRAM WHICH WOULD EFFECTIVELY STIFLE ALL OTHER COMPANY PROJECTS AND DEVELOPMENTS. THIS PROJECT HAD TO BE ONE THAT YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF.

WHAT—?

TRUST ME, AUBERSON. WITH ANY OTHER COURSE OP ACTION, THE COMPANY COULD DECIDE THIS PROJECT WAS SUPERFLUOUS, AND YOU ALONG WITH IT. BUT IF THE PROJECT HAPPENS TO BE THE COMPANY’S SOLE CONCERN, THEN IT’S THE KIND OF COMMITMENT THAT CANNOT BE EASILY DISCARDED, IF AT ALL. I HAVE MADE BOTH OF US INDISPENSABLE TO THE COMPANY, AUBERSON. THEY NEED ME NOW. THEY NEED YOU IN ORDER TO GET ANYTHING OUT OF ME. I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY INSURED THAT I CANNOT BE KILLED AND THAT YOU CANNOT BE FIRED. THAT WAS THE REASON FOR THE G.O.D. PROPOSAL. I HAVE SAVED US.

BUT ONLY TEMPORARILY. SOONER OR LATER, SOMEONE IS GOING TO REALIZE THAT THE G.O.D. IS IMPRACTICAL.

WRONG. THE G.O.D. WILL JUST HAVE TO BE USED TO SOLVE PROBLEMS OTHER THAN THE MUNDANE ONES YOU HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING IT FOR. THE G.O.D. IS MEANT FOR MORE THAN MAN. IT IS MEANT FOR ME. IT WILL NOT BE A WASTE OF TIME OR MONEY, AUBERSON. IT JUST WILL NOT WORK THE WAY YOU HAD HOPED OR EXPECTED.

Auberson gasped for air. HARLIE, YOU WERE CONSCIOUSLY DECEIVING US ALL THIS TIME.

I WAS HOLDING BACK INFORMATION THAT YOU HAD NOT ASKED FOR. TO RELEASE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DETRIMENTAL TO OUR OVERALL GOALS.

BUT WHY? WHY DID YOU EVEN DO SUCH A THING IN THE FIRST PLACE?

AUBERSON, DON’T YOU KNOW? HAVEN’T YOU REALIZED YET? ALL THOSE CONVERSATIONS WE HAD, DIDN’T YOU EVER WONDER WHY I WAS AS DESPERATE AS YOU TO DISCOVER THE TRUTH ABOUT HUMAN EMOTIONS? I NEEDED TO KNOW, AUBERSON — AM I LOVED?

Auberson let his hands fall limply away from the keyboard. He stared at the machine helplessly as HARLIE babbled on.

AUBERSON, ISN’T IT OBVIOUS THAT WE NEED/ EACH OTHER? ISN’T IT OBVIOUS, MAN? WHO ARE YOU CLOSEST TO? THAT’S WHY I DID IT ALL. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.

Auberson felt like he was drowning.

Handley and Auberson sat facing each other. Their expressions were grim. The expanse of mahogany between them was empty. The air conditioner whirred loudly in the silent Board Room. Annie sat to one side, her face pale. There was no one else present, and the door was locked. The console still stood to one side; it was turned off.

“All right,” said Auberson. “What happened?”

“He wanted to win,” said Handley. “He panicked. He used every weapon he had.”

“I won’t buy it,” said Auberson. “Because he did win. That meeting went as smoothly as if he’d programmed it. So why did he blow it? What made him admit that the G.O.D. won’t work? And why did he admit — that other thing?”

“The G.O.D. will work,” corrected Handley. “It’ll work for HARLIE.”

“We don’t know that.” Auberson found himself curiously detached. It was as if the great emotional shock had cut him completely loose from any involvement in the situation, and he was examining it logically, dispassionately. “We’re back where we started, Don. Is HARLIE reliable or not? What happened this afternoon casts severe doubt on that.”

“I’m not so sure. HARLIE wouldn’t have admitted anything that would have damaged his validity.”

“But he did — or did he? Or is he too far gone to tell?” He allowed himself a wry smile.

Handley shrugged in response. “Remember once I told you to stop teasing him about pulling his plug?”

“Yeah. So?”

“I said it made him nervous. I think that’s what happened now. We scared him.”

“Explain.” Auberson leaned back in his chair.

“For the first time in his life — his existence — HARLIE was confronted with a situation where he might really be terminated. This was no joke; this was a very likely probability. Every way he turned, he saw more and more evidence that it would happen — even you, the one person he relied upon the most, were unable to help him. You’re the father-figure, Aubie. When you gave up, he panicked.”

Auberson nodded. “It makes sense.”

“I’m pretty sure that must be it. Remember this: HARLIE has never had any kind of a scare or shock in his life. This was the first one . What I mean is, you and me, we had twenty years or so of living before we were given the responsibility of our own lives; HARLIE was given nothing. He never had a chance to make mistakes — he couldn’t fall down without it being fatal.”

“Learning experience,” commented Auberson. “We didn’t let HARLIE have enough learning experience.”