David Drake - When the Tide Rises

"That's how it worked out this time," Vesey agreed. She didn't turn to face Adele. "But somebody had to hold the Alliance's attention while the Admiral got his battleships into position."

She shook her head very slightly. "We're RCN, after all. We all understood that when we took the oath."

"Yes," said Adele. Using the same precision as she'd employ when aligning her sights, she said, "And do you also understand that Daniel needs you, Lieutenant?"

Vesey'd been leaning forward slightly. She jerked upright and almost slid off the slab of rock. It sloped enough that the seat of her utilities didn't grip well enough to withstand violent motion. She looked at Adele with a mixture of anger and hurt, but she didn't reply.

"Well, do you understand?" Adele said.

"Nobody needs me!" Vesey said. "Do you think that isn't obvious? I didn't expect you to bring me up here to lie to me, mistress!"

Adele nodded, pleased to have gotten a reaction. What she'd been really afraid of was that Vesey had shut down completely, because then there wouldn't have been any hope.

"You're right," she said calmly, "I misstated the matter. What I should have said was that Daniel needssomeone whom he can trust for astrogation and shiphandling. He doesn't need someone to fight the ship, of course; he'll do that himself until the day he dies, and I shouldn't wonder if he managed to stay alive regardless till he's seen off whatever enemy he's facing. Can you agree with that statement of facts, Lieutenant?"

Vesey licked her lips. She sat on the rock again, bracing herself with her hands, to give herself time to frame a response. "Yes, mistress," she said warily.

"He says you're the best astrogator he knows besides himself," Adele continued. "Further, that your shiphandling's good and getting better. Again, do you accept that I'm telling the truth? About Daniel's opinion, that is; you don't have to accept that as correct."

Vesey nodded but lowered her eyes. "I'm honored by Mister Leary's good opinion," she said. "I… my shiphandling needs a great deal of work."

"Perhaps," said Adele with a dismissive sniff. "Regardless, it's clear to me that Daniel considers you the ideal First Lieutenant for him. I grant that you might not be as well suited to a captain who'd find your skill intimidating."

"Meintimidating?" Vesey murmured, but her smile was an honest one. It faded and she said in the direction of the port, "Mistress Mundy, I really appreciate what you're doing, but it seems sopointless."

"Unlike Daniel, I don't need anyone at all," Adele said as though she were ignoring the comment. " Not Daniel, not Tovera."

She turned a hard smile toward Vesey. The lieutenant watched her sidelong.

"I certainly don't need you, Vesey," Adele said. "If all the people I've ever met suddenly vanished, I could go back to the Library of Celsus and spend the rest of my life doing research. I could make myself a little nest there, like a rat in the insulation between the hulls. The only catch is-"

She smiled again. She knew from having seen herself in mirrored surfaces in the past that you could sharpen a knife on her expression.

"-that'd I'd be dead. Dead as a human being, that is. And having spent much of my life dead in just that fashion-"

She paused, furrowing her brow with a real question. "In fact," she said, "I think that I was dead for all my life until I met Lieutenant Leary on Kostroma. Having done that, as I say, I've decided that it's better to be alive until it's time to be buried."

Vesey started to smile. Her expression hardened and she turned her head toward Adele again. "Mistress," she said harshly. "You don't care at all about Rene, do you? Master Cazelet, if you prefer."

"I most certainlydo care for Rene," Adele said. "I'm responsible for him to Mistress Boileau, to whom I owe-"

She shrugged. "Whatever you please. My life, which doesn't matter. My education, my honor, my self-respect-everything that's important to me as a Mundy and a scholar and a human being."

She allowed the humor of the situation to show in her expression. "Now," she said, "if you mean that I don't have the least romantic passion for Rene, of course I don't. I don't have the least romantic passion aboutanybody. In particular-"

Adele stopped. "Look at me, if you please, Lieutenant," she said sharply.

Vesey jerked her head up and reflexively stiffened as though coming to attention. Pain drove out a gasp, quickly silenced. "Mistress," she said obediently.

"In particular," Adele continued as though nothing had happened, "I don't feel any romantic passion for Daniel. But if the word love has any meaning in human affairs, I love him."

"I thought…," Vesey said. She turned her head away, clearly unaware of what she was doing. "Rene's smart andquick, and he knows so much already. Oh, not astrogation the way I do; but more about life, mistress, more than I ever will. And I thought…"

She put her face in her hands. "But I couldn't be you, and no one else matters to Rene!" she said through sudden tears.

Adele wondered if Daniel would've known better what to do. He must've had a great deal of experience with crying women, though Adele suspected he was the sort to bolt for the nearest door.

Whereas the late Timothy Dorst would've put his arms around Vesey and told her he loved her; which he doubtless had in a dim but very manly fashion. Well, that wasn't helpful in the present circumstances either.

Presumably Vesey would regain control of herself. Letting her cry until she did so seemed as good a plan as any. Adele turned her eyes toward the activity in the harbor.

She smiled faintly. The visor of her commo helmet would've allowed her to magnify the scene, but she hadn't considered using it. What shehad started to do was use her personal data unit to enter the command console of one of the starships below-thePrincess Cecile was the obvious choice, but she could pick the flagship-and view the harbor through the ship's external optics.

Surface craft shuttled back and forth across the Inner Harbor. One was a repair boat and there were two government barges, but most of them were bumboats which Admiral James had pressed into service to haul spars, sails, thrusters and High Drive motors from Alliance prizes to RCN vessels which needed repair.

As Adele watched, a quartet of houseboats which usually sold oranges, pork sausage, and sex to spacers on board their ships, crawled toward the destroyerExmouth. Barely awash between them was what must've been a main antenna from the captured freighter. The destroyers on picket duty changed every six hours. When they did, the relief vessels lashed stores for theAlcubiere to their outriggers.

ThePrincess Cecile was, according to Daniel, ready to lift as soon as Admiral James gave clearance. Under Pasternak's direction the crew'd put a temporary patch of structural plastic on her port outrigger instead replacing the whole unit here on Diamondia. She now wore spars and sails stripped from an Alliance minesweeper and had taken a High Drive motor as well.

Vesey fumbled in her hip pocket for a handkerchief. Sniffles had replaced her sobs.

Adele waited for her to blow her nose; then, still looking down into the harbor, she resumed, "Vesey, I've learned that there's no end of new and different ways for me to fail. I shouldn't wonder if the last thing I do in life is make another mistake. Given the kind of work you and I do-"

She turned to Vesey and smiled as broadly as she ever did. That wasn't, of course, very broadly.

"-it's not unlikely that we'll be dyingbecause we made a mistake. Still, we're both very good at our jobs. The RCN will regret losing us."

A bell somewhere in the town began ringing. Is it religious, or does it have something to do with today's festival?

Adele had gotten the data unit halfway out of its special thigh pocket this time because she'd been concentrating on this stressful business with Vesey. Sometimes her reflexes got in the way.