Robert Charrette: Find your own truth

What had been, was no longer.

There was hope.

The fight to get to the missile compartment had been brutal. Ranges were short within the confines of the submarine, and the runners had been forced into physical combat too often. They had lost Long Run and Fast Stag before they could gauge the danger of the insect men. Bullets didn't seem to have much effect on them, which Janice thought was because of a protective Spider presence hovering astrally around them. The reduced effectiveness of the weapons made her and Tsung, as magicians, the runners' most potent of-fense. Fortunately, Spider's minions only made short rushes followed by retreats. Had the monsters sus-tained any of their attacks, they would surely have overwhelmed the runners.

When she commented on that to Ghost, he had said, "They don't know any more about us than we do about them. Unless we tell them, they'll never know how close they are to taking us. But then there may not be many more of them, either." The growing volume of cluttering and constant scrape of chitin on metal made a lie of that hope.

The last skirmish had brought them to the edge. Jan-ice had taken no crippling wounds; she would be fine shortly. Already the gashes were closing. Seemingly invulnerable as his namesake, Ghost was untouched, too, but Kham and Parker were both wounded. When Tsung had been staggered by a magical blast that seemed to come out of nowhere, Janice had barely been able to deflect the swirling energies and dissipate the mana before the ravening energy would have consumed the mage. As it was, Tsung's flesh was purpling from subcutaneous bruises and her nose and ears were bleeding. She wouldn't be in any shape to resist another attack.

But they had reached the missile tubes. For the moment, the bugs seemed to be considering their next strategy. Now that they had an active magician on their side, Janice doubted they would remain inactive for long. Kham wandered down the line of silos, rapping each with his cyberarm.

' 'Why not just pull de arming devices and take dem with us?"

Ghost shook his head. "Burdened, we'd never make it back."

"May not anyway." Kham spat. "Won't for sure if we stay put. Dose tings are massing for anudder attack."

As though in confirmation of his words, a sudden scuttling sounded aft. The runners dropped into defensive crouches and pointed weapons. Janice strained her senses; the noise did not seem to be the beginning of a new attack. Kham cursed. "Frag it, Ghost! We're hosed," Though the Indian appeared to be listening, it was obviously not to the ork's outburst. "They're not coming yet. We've still got to set the spell." He straightened from his crouch and moved forward to the engineer's station. Looking up he asked, "Can Rabo bring the Searaven around to this maintenance hatch?" "Yeah. Take time, dough." Kham spat again. "We ain't got dat."

"Well, get him moving," Janice snapped. She was tired of the ork*s constant complaints.

"I don't take orders from you, furball," Kham snarled.

"Just do it," Tsung said weakly. The ork grumbled under his breath, but slapped open the toggle that activated his comm link. He passed the orders to Rabo. The two orks exchanged a flurry of half-intelligible comments spiced with frequent profanity. Kham finished his conversation with the rigger by snapping, "Just do it." He limped back up the gangway. "What's to keep dose tings from spoiling de spell if we pull out?" "Nothing," Ghost said.

"I say we set the spell and go," Tsung said. "We can always try again another day." "Sounds good," Kham agreed quickly. Ghost sighed. "There will be no other day. The magic must be used tonight."

"Since when did you become an expert?" Tsung drawled.

"He's right." Janice hefted the beaded pouch in her hand. "If it's disturbed before the dance reaches the right phase, the magic won't work." "And how long's dat?" Kham growled. "Too long," Janice said. "The bugs will come." "Drek!" Kham slammed his fist into a bulkhead. "I didn't sign on for a suicide run. I gotta wife! Kids! Dey ain't gonna make it but dere widdout me. You know what happens ta ork kids dat ain't got no daddy?"

Ghost seemed about to say something, but held his peace.

Janice had never thought that the ork might have a family. She could see that he was truly concerned for them. She knew what it was like to be an ork. Thinking about growing up as one made her see Kham in a new light.

Silence fell on the runners. Distant scrabblings kept them nervous, but the bugs didn't attack. Janice walked the gangway, chanting and scattering the dust from the pouch. Ghost walked with her, chanting the words along with her. Two minutes after they finished, the hull rang as the Searaven nudged up to the Wichita's aft maintenance hatch. "They'll have heard," Parker said. Kham looked up at the hatch glumly. "So he made it. Ain't gonna do us any good unless we go now."

Ghost touched Kham on the arm. "Tell Rabo not to open the hatch unless he's sure it's for one of us. If we can hold them long enough, some of us might get out."

"Ain't gonna be any of MS left! You keep us here, and de bugs are gonna pick our bones. Where's your bleeding magic gonna be den?"

Janice stood and straightened as much as she could. "They may have waited too long to come for us. The Dance will be reaching its peak soon. "Some of us could board the Searaven now. The higher position will let somebody shoot down on any bugs coming from forward. Be a nasty surprise for the bugs. Then if we can't hold the missile bay, at least some could getaway."

"Your plan ain't the best, but the time is getting closer," Ghost said. "Since the wounded will be of little use in a fight, they will board the Searaven now." Tsung forced herself to her feet and confronted Ghost. "Making like a hero, Indian?" "Go, Sally. This is no time to talk."

"Was there ever?" She searched his eyes for a moment, then kissed him. "Crazy Indian."

She climbed up the ladder and crawled through the hatch into the Searaven.

Kham shoved Parker toward the ladder. "Let's do it, den. Move, move!" He stood with one foot on the first rung while the other ork climbed. Parker cleared the ladder, but Kham hesitated. He lowered his foot back to the deck and put his back to the ladder. Without booking at Janice or Ghost, he popped the magazine on his AK97, checked to see it was full, and snapped it back in. Janice could smell the fear on him, but it was clear that despite his previous bleating about leaving, he was planning to stay. "Why?" she asked.

Without looking at her, Kham said, "It's bad growing up widdout a dad, but it's a lot better dan not growing up at all."

"You're wounded, too. You won't fight well," Ghost observed.

"Orks is tough," Kham said with a shrug. "But they bleed and die like any man," Janice said. The bugs' timidity had lasted longer than they had any right to expect. Every minute meant less of a need for sacrifice. "There's no need for either of you to stay. I'll hold them back." "I will stay," Ghost said.

Janice shook her head. "No, Wolf. Take Kham and go. You have other prey. There's also a dog who needs someone to look after him.'' "He won't want to see me without you." That might well be true. She could imagine Sam's face when he learned that she had done this. Since they had found each other again, she had been so selfish. How could she have forgotten what it meant to be human? "He won't appreciate your throwing yourself away."

"The same holds true for you. He hopes to make you better."

' 'I may already be better.'' She laughed.' 'I 'm sure that I'm better at fighting these bugs than you. Their claws do no permanent damage, and my magic wounds them more than your guns. Go, Wolf, while there's still time."

They stared into each other's eyes for what seemed an eternity. At last, Ghost nodded slightly. "I will sing for you, Wolf shaman."