Chessie King - Be Your Own Best Friend

COPYRIGHT Copyright Dedication INTRODUCTION 1. INSIDE US 2. OUR BODIES 3. OUR SOLAR SUPPORT SYSTEM 4. OUR OUTER ORBIT THANK YOUS About the Publisher

HarperCollins Publishers

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London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by HarperCollins Publishers 2020

FIRST EDITION

Text © Chessie King 2020

Cover layout design © HarperCollins Publishers 2020

Photography © Ruth Rose 2020

With the following exceptions: here , here, here, here, here, here and here courtesy of the author

Illustrations © Saskia Robertson ( Sassrobcreative.com) 2020

With the following exceptions: here , here , here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here © Shutterstock.com

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

Chessie King asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

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Source ISBN: 9780008377397

Ebook Edition © May 2020 ISBN: 9780008377403

Version 2020-05-13

DEDICATION Dedication INTRODUCTION 1. INSIDE US 2. OUR BODIES 3. OUR SOLAR SUPPORT SYSTEM 4. OUR OUTER ORBIT THANK YOUS About the Publisher

This is for my Scrumma-mumma-doo-dah

This is for my Brontë Bee

This is for my best friends

This is for YOU, yes, you

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

INTRODUCTION

1. INSIDE US

2. OUR BODIES

3. OUR SOLAR SUPPORT SYSTEM

4. OUR OUTER ORBIT

THANK YOUS

About the Publisher

Introduction

GIRLS. WOMEN. LADIES. ANGELS. GODDESSES. SISTERS. NON-BINARY READERS. (And to the guys who have bought this book, I see you … I know you want to see what it’s all about.)

This book is all about the glorious, delightfully complex truths of Femalehoodand becoming your own best friend. We’re going to discover your true worth, big up your self-appreciation, find your inner cheerleader and celebrate you– zooming in, zooming out, while shaking it allabout.

I believe there are four layers that make up you, me and the book you’re holding.

Our insides: hormones, emotions, feelings and our juicy bits.

Our bods: boobies, body hair, periods, contraception, sex and all the things we didn’t get taught at school.

Our solar support system: your community – the spine to your life – your family, the people you work with and your friends, your tribe, because there ain’t no hood like sisterhood.

Our outer orbit: social media bollocks, people’s views on what women ‘should be’ and connecting with strangers.

Every single one of us is navigating our way through life and sometimes, in this huge, gigantic world, you can feel like you’re doing it on. your. own.It’s a jungle out there, but I hope, while you read through, you’ll be nodding your head like ‘Yes, uh-huh, this is totally me – oh holy mother of Dorothy, I thought I was the only one. Phew. WOW. Okay, so if Chessie’s been through this too, I’ve totally got it.’

I invite you to take a comfy seat in my brain, my world. I’ve poured love, honesty and memories into this baby. I’ve cried into my laptop, laughed at the stories I’ve unearthed in my history bank, and braved sharing unspoken pieces of my past. And heavens to Betsy, I have absolutely adored this whole never-written-a-book-before-what-am-I-doing thang!

My scrumma-mumma-doo-dah fired me out into the world on 23 June 1993, so I know I’ve not yet experienced allthe bonkers things life can throw at us women. But I want to be dancing around in my underwear until I’m 100 – so I’m not even a third of my way through the game. I’m absolutely no expert, nor am I trying to ‘fix’ you. But I believe I don’t need a PhD or a degree to want to help you or to share my life, my stories and my advice with you. I can promise you, this book is so much more than me telling you to sleep more, eat your veg and step up your step game … We’re going to take back the power, we’re going to turn surviving into thriving, we’re going to become the CEOs of our busy brains.

We’re all unique, we’re all multi-dimensional, we’re all phenomenal – however, the majority of us just don’t believein ourselves. Whether you feel like you’ve lost confidence, never found it or you’re going through a shift, I’m here with you. In Blue Peter -style, here’s one I made earlier : I’ve tried and tested the infinite list; exploring, discovering and unpeeling the layers of myself over the years. So, I thought it was about time I got it all down on paper … 240 pages’ worth of paper.

I like to think of us all as scrummy, spongy cakes. We all started out the same, cooking in the womb. Then over the years, we’ve added in different ingredients, soaked up different experiences, to make us all even more delicious and unique… But we’ve been decorated with heavy toppings like self-doubt, comparison, heartache, trauma, grief … they’re all baked into our lives and they could be weighing us down.

When you’reready, we’ll work through your recipe and eat cake together. We’ll strengthenyour relationship with your bod, your brain, with all of the incredible humans that make up your tribe, and with women from all around the world.

If I could describe my Instagram in one word it would be ‘ honest’. But unlike social media, this book has been a real safe space for me to take that to the next level. To help you, to share everything with you, uncensored. Helping, guiding, nurturing and supporting people is something I feel I was born to do. It’s written in my DNA, embedded in me from my mumma, my mum’s mumma (my nana), her mumma … all my female ancestors have exuded love. I’m a big sister in real life (anyone who’s the oldest will know what it feels like to be the ‘trial run’, the guinea pig) to Brontë and Henry, and I have always wanted to protect anyone younger than me. I’ve watched them both grow up from teeny tiny beans in our mumma’s tummy, making their way through life, growing into their own individual personalities. I don’t ever tell them whatto do; I just guide – sharing with them my mistakes and what I’ve learnt. I celebrate their differences, encourage them to do anythingthey want and absolutely adorethem.