Amy Thomson: The Color of Distance

No one said anything for a very long time.

At last Ukatonen turned and touched Juna on the shoulder.

“Thank you,” he said. “Before this, I thought that perhaps your people were making it all up; that maybe you were from some northern continent that we didn’t know about. Now I see my own world turning beneath me…”

Juna brushed Ukatonen’s shoulder. “It’s a beautiful world, isn’t it?”

“Where’s Lyanan?” Moki asked.

Juna pointed out the broad peninsula, just barely visible beneath cloud cover. She remembered the long, difficult trip from Narmolom to Lyanan and back again. From here, she could cover the entire distance with the palm of her hand.

“We’ve come a long way,” she said with a smile.

A soft chime sounded.

“We need to go. They’re waiting to take us back down,” Juna said.

The two Tendu turned to go with obvious reluctance.

“I hope well see it again,” Moki said wistfully.

“I hope so too,” Juna replied.

Two days later, Juna, Ukatonen, Anitonen, and Moki followed the senior members of the staff into the conference room. Patricia squeezed Juna on the shoulder.

“Good luck,” she whispered.

Juna managed a weak, nervous smile. “Thanks,” she whispered back.

At last everyone was settled around the table.

Dr. Bremen stood. “Well, you’ve handed us a rather difficult decision, Dr. Saari.”

“Yes, I know,” she responded, “but it’s important. Unless Moki comes back with me, he’ll run off into the forest and go wild again. He might even kill himself. When that happens, Ukatonen will be forced to commit suicide.”

“I understand that much from your summary of the situation, but I don’t entirely understand the chain of causality here. You told us during your first briefing that you arranged for Ukatonen to adopt Moki. Now you’re saying that won’t work?”

“Yes, sir. Parenting is very different among the Tendu. It isn’t just a matter of love and affection; there’s a physiological bond there too. Moki has bonded with me, with my biochemistry. No one else can substitute for me. He cares for Ukatonen—they are very close—but he needs me. I had hoped he could transfer that physical need to Ukatonen, but he can’t. It will be years before he can live without me.”

“But why can’t he simply become an elder?” Bremen asked.

Juna started to answer, but Ukatonen, who had been following Dr. Tanguay’s translation, put a hand on her arm.

“Let me explain,” he said.

“Moki is too young to become an elder, and he has been Eerin’s sitik too long to adapt to another sitik. Sometimes, if a sitik dies only a month or two after the bami’s transformation from a tinka, another elder can be found. But Moki is at a stage where that is impossible. He will need to be with Eerin for another eight or nine years, perhaps even longer.”

“Why would you have to die if Moki runs away, Ukatonen?” Dr. Bremen asked.

Ukatonen looked at the translation. “I am an enkar. Anitonen asked me to pass judgment on whether Eerin could adopt Moki. I am responsible for the consequences of my judgment. If this adoption doesn’t work out, if Moki is lost to our people, then my judgment was wrong, and I will have to die.”

“I see,” Bremen said. “That seems rather harsh.”

Ukatonen shrugged, another human gesture he had picked up. “I make very good decisions. I have lived almost a thousand of your years.”

“What would the diplomatic consequences be if you die?” Wu asked.

Anitonen rose.

“I wish to make a judgment,” she said in formal patterns. “Ukatonen and Moki must go with you.”

“No!!” Juna cried.

Ironic amusement rippled across Anitonen’s skin. “It’s too late, Eerin. I have spoken.”

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Tanguay said. “I didn’t understand what Anitonen meant.”

Juna translated. “Anitonen has just linked her life to Moki and Ukatonen’s. If Ukatonen and Moki don’t go, then Anitonen’s judgment is wrong, and she must die,” Juna explained. “We would lose the two Tendu who know us best. It might take years to catch up again.”

“And I don’t know how the other enkar would take it if two of their number died as a result of our actions,” Wu put in. “It would severely restrict our ability to negotiate.”

Bremen shook his head, looking angry. Juna’s throat tightened in fear. He didn’t like being trapped.

“Dr. Bremen,” she said softly. “There’s a great deal that we can learn from Ukatonen and Moki if they come with us. They’ll be an invaluable source of information to our researchers back home. They can help us prepare people coming out to study this planet. When they come back, they can teach their people about us.”

“But the Contact Protocols,” Bremen protested. “What about them?”

“We’ll abide by them,” Ukatonen replied. “We won’t teach your people anything that might be harmful to them.”

Juna had to fight back a smile at Bremen’s amazed expression when he heard the translation. Given what the Tendu were capable of, the humans probably needed the Contact Protocols as much as the Tendu did. Besides, it might not hurt the A-C specs to get a taste of their own medicine.

“There’s a provision in the protocols for limited diplomatic missions,” Wu said. “I think that we can make a very strong case for it, considering the possible repercussions if we refuse.”

“Thank you all,” Bremen said. “You’ve given us a great deal to think about. Dr. Saari, if you and the Tendu could excuse us for a few minutes, while we discuss the situation.”

“Certainly, Dr. Bremen.” Juna rose and motioned to the Tendu to follow her.

“Well,” Ukatonen said. “We’ve done everything we can.”

Juna looked at the three of them. They had staked their lives on this decision. She felt a sudden resolve.

“If they say that you can’t come,” Juna told them, her throat tight with fear, “then I will stay here with you.”

“What about your family?” Ukatonen asked.

“You are my family also. I can’t let you die,” Juna replied. She brushed Moki’s shoulder affectionately, and tried not to think about going home. She was glad that her skin no longer showed her emotions.

Moki took her hand. It was a very human gesture. He looked up at her.

“Thank you, siti.”

Juna smiled, feeling the weight of guilt and misery drop from her shoulders. Whatever happened now, Moki would survive, and so would Ukatonen. She looked at Anitonen and bit her lip. Anitonen had risked her life on a dangerous attempt to ensure that Moki and Ukatonen would go with her. There was nothing Juna could do except hope for the best.

“That was a very brave judgment, en,” she said. “I hope it isn’t proven wrong.”

“We’ll see,” Anitonen responded.

A few minutes later, Patricia stuck her head out the door. “They’re done,” she said.

They walked back in and took their places.

Bremen stood. “We have decided that Ukatonen will be Special Envoy to Humanity. Moki will be officially listed as his dependent child. I have grave misgivings about this, but—” He shook his head. “You win, Dr. Saari. I only hope you know what you’re doing.”

Juna felt giddy with relief. She took a deep breath to steady herself and rose to speak.

“Thank you, Dr. Bremen. I’m sure that both our people will gain from this decision.”

Bremen adjourned the meeting. Moki and the other Tendu crowded around Juna, their skins vivid blue with relief. Juna took them to the Staff Lounge, where her friends had assembled, waiting for the verdict. Alison met them at the door, a questioning look on her face.

“We did it!” Juna shouted gleefully.