Amy Thomson - The Color of Distance

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Juna is the sole survivor of a team of surveyors marooned in the dense and isolated Tendu rainforest, an uninhabitable world for humans. Her only hope for survival is total transformation—and terrifying assimilation—into the amphibian Tendu species. Now she speaks as they speak. She fears what they fear. And in surviving as they survive, Juna will come to fathom more about her own human nature than ever before…
Nominated for Philip K. Dick Award in 1996.

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“You know your own people better than I do. Monitor me,” Anitonen told Juna.

Juna flickered yes. Aloud she said, “I’m going to help Anitonen with Dr. Wu. Please, don’t disturb us. It might kill Dr. Wu, and could harm Anitonen or me.”

She helped Anitonen remove Wu’s helmet and open his suit. Juna clasped one of his arms, Anitonen took the other, and then they linked.

Juna could feel Wu’s heart laboring. His oxygen-starved blood tasted flat and rusty. Anitonen dilated the blood vessels supplying the heart, increasing the blood supply. They fed all the oxygen their bodies could spare into Wu’s bloodstream. Then Anitonen set about repairing the damaged tissues of his heart. It began to beat more strongly as oxygen-rich blood began reaching the starved muscle, and Anitonen continued restoring the damaged heart.

Wu regained consciousness. Juna felt him tense and begin to panic. She shielded him from the intrusion of their presences, as Moki had shielded her so long ago. Wu’s panic changed to curiosity as he felt Anito-nen’s presence exploring his clogged arteries. The Tendu began clearing the arteries around his heart, filtering the greasy cholesterol out through her allu. It was a long job. Juna could feel Anitonen tiring, so she fed her some energy.

Wu’s presence reached out tentatively, full of wonder and excitement at this strange new contact. Juna enfolded him in reassurance and calmness. Anitonen finished clearing the arteries in Wu’s chest and lungs and began work on the rest of his body, but she was getting too tired to continue. Juna gently eased the link apart.

She opened her eyes. Dr. Wu was smiling, tranquil. His eyes opened, he looked at her, and his smile widened. “Thank you,” he said. He sat up and reached for Anitonen, grasping her hand. “That was amazing.” He stood. Juna reached to steady him, but he shook her off. “I feel better than I have for years.” He took a deep breath of the alien air. “It smells green,” he said. “Very green, and alive.” There were tears in his eyes.

“Anitonen gave you something to help your body fight off an allergic reaction, but it won’t last very long,” Juna told him. “You should go before you start to react.”

“There’s a flyer on the beach,” Bremen said. “We need to get you to the infirmary.”

Wu nodded. He looked as if he were in a dream. He touched Juna on the arm, and Juna realized that she was finally touching another human being skin to skin. She took his hand.

“Please thank Anitonen for me,” Wu said. “Not just for saving my life. But for the other. The allu-a—” He paused. “It was what I have wanted all my life. To touch the alien.” He shook his head, wonderingly. “It was—” He spread his hands wide, his face suffused with joy. “I don’t have words for it, but please, thank her for it.”

“I understand,” Juna told him.

“So do I, now. Thank you, Juna.” He clasped her hands in his for a moment.

Juna translated Dr. Wu’s thanks. Anitonen rippled amusement.

“Tell him that he has a good presence, and that it was an honor to link with him.”

Juna translated, and Dr. Wu smiled in response. He clasped Anito-nen’s hands and turned to go.

“How did he get like that?” Anitonen asked. “So full of things wrong with him?”

“It happens to humans as they get older,” Juna replied. “I should go and make sure the doctors don’t do anything to reverse what you’ve done.”

“I’ll come with you,” Anitonen offered. “If they have any questions, I can answer them.”

The two of them caught up with Wu, and got on the flyer with him. Once they were in the air, Anitonen looked out the window, utterly fascinated as they skimmed over the ocean toward the ship. Brilliant hot pink ripples of excitement flowed over her skin. The medical techs watched her, mouths agape.

When the flyer landed, Dr. Wu was placed on a gurney and rushed to the ship’s medical wing. He was put into a second, hastily set up quarantine room. Juna and Anitonen donned suits for the trip from the airlock to quarantine.

Dr. Baker came in a few minutes after they arrived. “Why isn’t this man on oxygen and a drug drip?” he demanded.

“Because I don’t need it, Doctor,” Wu told him calmly. “Anitonen has healed me. I feel better than I have in years. No more shortness of breath, no angina.”

“But—” the doctor began.

“Do I look like a man suffering from a heart problem?” Wu asked.

Dr. Baker shook his head. “Let me examine you,” he said, taking out his stethoscope.

Anitonen watched alertly as the doctor examined Wu.

“Amazing,” he announced. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that your heart was that of a twenty-year-old. Your pulse is strong, your blood pressure is low, your color and breathing are excellent. Are you sure it was a heart attack?”

Juna stepped forward. “Dr. Baker, I helped monitor Anitonen when she healed Dr. Wu. It was definitely a heart attack. I felt it. I tasted it.”

As soon as he was sure that Wu really was stabilized, Dr. Baker questioned Juna and Anitonen minutely about what they had done. Finally Anitonen put her hand on Juna’s leg.

“I’m tired and hungry. Could we talk again later?”

Juna realized that she, too, was lightheaded from hunger.

“I’m sorry, Doctor, but we need to take Anitonen back. She’s tired, and she needs food and rest. So do I. Healing is very draining work.”

Dr. Baker nodded. “I’d like to talk further with Anitonen about this some other time. She’s already suggested several interesting ideas worth researching. Perhaps you could bring her back tomorrow?”

Juna translated his question.

“I’d be glad to,” Anitonen replied. “I’ve learned a great deal today. Tell Dr. Wu to sleep as much as he can, and to eat a lot of protein. His body is not done repairing itself. He will need to rest and eat well for another three or four days. We can resume the negotiations when he’s fully recovered. Also, please thank Dr. Wu. I learned a great deal from him today.”

“I should be thanking Anitonen,” Wu replied with an ironic smile, when Juna translated Anitonen’s words. He reached out and touched Anitonen on the shoulder, imitating the Tendu’s gesture, and said, “I owe you my life, and more. Thank you.”

Juna escorted Anitonen back to shore, returned to her quarters, ate a huge meal, and fell asleep.

She woke the next morning feeling better than she had in days. She lay in bed, looking up at the impersonal white ceiling of her room. The negotiations were called off until Wu was better. She should spend that time getting more of a handle on the politics aboard ship.

She called for her security escort. Laurie was subdued and awed as she let Juna out of quarantine.

“I hear you saved Dr. Wu’s life,” she said.

Juna shook her head. “Anitonen did that. I merely helped.”

They reached Dr. Wu’s room. He was lying in bed, attached to several monitors.

“Juna!” he called out as she came in. He held up a wire-festooned arm. “It’s good to see you. They’re still running tests on me.”

She took his hand. His grip was strong and firm.

“How are you?” she asked.

“I feel better than I’ve felt for years,” he told her. “The doctors are amazed. I’m amazed, and I was there. It feels like a miracle. Thank you for helping save my life.”

Juna looked away, feeling distanced by his awe.

One of the nurses came in. She looked at Juna as though she expected her to walk on water at any moment.

Juna looked down, even more embarrassed. “I need to go, but I’m glad you’re feeling well. You haven’t had any allergic reactions?”

Wu shook his head.

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