Amy Thomson - Through Alien Eyes

Ukatonen felt Moki and Eerin trying to salvage what they could of his bruised and battered brain. They had been working on him for at least two days now, and there was nothing more that they could do. The injured brain tissue could be regrown, but the skills that had been stored there were gone. Still, the two of them kept trying, and he was powerless to stop them.

Ukatonen could no longer control the link. When he reached for the familiar strength of his presence, there was almost nothing there. If he worked slowly and carefully, on a calm patient, he could still heal. But his presence was weaker than that of a new bami. He could no longer calm a frightened person with the force of his will, or hold a dissolving link together. He had lost an ability that had taken a long lifetime to learn. He tried to imagine a village chieftain’s reaction to his laughable presence, and darkened with shame.

He was crippled, and a crippled enkar was useless. His injury would cause all the other enkar to lose face. It was time to die, but Moki and Eerin would not let him go.

When Moki and Eerin allowed him to wake up, he explained this to them, as gently as he could.

Ukatonen, you have a duty to me and to Moki,” Eerin ^i when he was through. “You must live. We need you.” Why?” Ukatonen asked, not looking at her.

“Because there is something that they”—she motioned[[ li ]]her head to indicate their kidnappers—“want from. If you die, so do we. I would not want a death that dishonors you so.”

Ukatonen sat silent for a while, thinking through her words. He was tired of carrying the crushing load of duty, ured of being an enkar, but she was right. They needed him. Finally, he looked up at her. “You would make a good enkar,” he admitted.

“I would not want to carry such a burden as that, en,” Juna said. “I am human and we are allowed a few imperfections.”

“What do they want?” he asked.

“I don’t know, en. I’ve been afraid to find out. It may not be something that you can do. I will not ask you to violate your honor to save our lives.”

Ukatonen looked at her. “Don’t be silly, Eerin. You already have.”

Eerin looked down. “You’re right, en, and I am sorry.”

He reached out and brushed her shoulder affectionately. “We will do what we have to do to get out of here.”

“It may not be that easy, en,” Moki said in skin speech. “These are people without honor. They may not let us go, even when we do what they want.”

“Then either they will die, or we will die,” Ukatonen replied in skin speech. “If there is a chance to escape, we will take it.” He held out his arms, spurs upward. “Let us link. I will not be much help, but it will bring us closer to harmony.”

The three of them entered into allu-a. Ukatonen could feel the others’ instinctive pause as they waited for his powerful presence to fill the link, and then their grief as they realized that it was no longer there. He struggled to break the link, but Eerin held the link together, blocking his escape. He was surprised at the strength of her presence. Even without allu, she could hold him in the link. He tried to block her as she enfolded him, searching for his pain, but he couldn’t stop her. She found the darkness and pain and loneliness inside him, and forced it to the surface. He struggled against it. There was too much pain to face all at once. He tried to make himself go unconscious, but Moki blocked him. Imagine, an enkar of his experience being blocked by a mere bami. He raged angrily, and impotently against them.

Then Eerin and Moki enfolded him, lifting him out of his pain. Exhausted, he let himself drift, surrounded by Eerin and Moki’s caring. He was a leaf floating on the river instead of being the river itself. It was like being a bami again. He eddied in the warm currents of their presence, stilled and at peace.

Ukatonen’s cell door opened, and he was escorted out. The guards marched him past a row of featureless cell doors and out into the open air. He blinked in the sudden, bright sunlight, flaring his nostrils wide, taking in as many smells as he could. They were surrounded by rain forest, separated only by an expanse of closely mown grass and a barbed-wire fence.

It was odd. Two years ago, such close confinement would have driven him into greensickness. Now, he was too preoccupied with surviving to notice the grim sterility of his cell. Still, the scent of the forest roused a wave of longing so intense that he stumbled and nearly fell. One of the guards jerked him upright and pushed him along the concrete breezeway.

He was led toward a door into another building. A guard opened the door with a stiff salute to his escort. They walked down a long hallway, and into a bright, sunny room. A man lay in a bed, surrounded by guards and subordinates. He was the focus of everyone in the room. Moki and Eerin were waiting. One of the guards had a gun pressed to Eerin’s head. Ukatonen fought back a sudden flare of anger. He breathed deeply, forcing himself to be calm.

The man in the bed looked at them. His eyes were pale and cold and hard. Ukatonen knew with a sudden clarity iiat this was the man who was responsible for their kidnapping. The cold eyes flicked away, back to Eerin.

“Dr. Saari, I am Sefu Tomas.”

Eerin’s eyes widened at the name. She knew who this man was, and he frightened her.

“I am dying. You are here to heal me. If you do not, you will be killed. If you do, then you will be freed. Your lives for my life. It is that simple.”

“How can we trust you?” Eerin asked.

“My people respect me because they know I am a man of my word. I would not jeopardize that trust by violating my word, even to you.”

“You understand that I have vowed to stop healing people,” Ukatonen said. “It is a matter of honor.”

Sefu Tomas looked faintly surprised. “Interesting. A race that eats its own children speaks of honor.”

“And a man who kills and kidnaps members of his own species speaks of honor,” Ukatonen replied calmly.

Tomas looked at Ukatonen. “I could have you killed.”

Amusement flickered over Ukatonen’s skin. “But you need me,” he replied. “Your life for our lives.”

“You could be hurt.”

“I could choose to die,” Ukatonen said.

“I could hurt the little one, or Dr. Saari.”

“They, too, could choose to die. You need us all,” he said. “Dr. Saari needs to be in the link. We draw strength from her.”

“You could use one of my men,” he said. “Any one of them would gladly give his life for our cause.”

Ukatonen looked at Tomas’s men. They shifted uneasily under his unwavering gaze. “Perhaps if I had not been injured, that would be possible. Now, though, we need someone experienced. Someone who will not panic in the link. I no longer have the strength to control their fear.” He looked back at Tomas. “It would be foolish to have done all this, and then die because one of your men didn’t know what to do.”

There was a long silence. Ukatonen and Tomas regarded each other appraisingly.

Tomas laughed. It was a long, deep laugh that broke the building tension in the room. Even the lines on Eerin’s face eased. In that moment, it was obvious what drew men to follow Tomas.

“We will have to trust each other, then,” he told Ukatonen. “You will heal me, and you will have your freedom. Yes?”

Ukatonen looked at Eerin and Moki for a long moment, then nodded.

“Good. When do we start?” Tomas asked.

“We can begin now, if you are ready,” he replied.

“I am ready,” Tomas said.

Ukatonen held out his arms to* begin the link. “I have a plan,” he told Eerin and Moki in skin speech. “Follow my lead.”

Surprised, Eerin hesitated for a moment, then reached out to link with Ukatonen. Moki followed suit.