Peter Prellwitz - Shards Book One

"Here,? she said as she seated herself.? Hot chocolate. More to your taste, I rather think. Maybe later you can try some herbal tea.? I sipped it and it was much tastier. Sweeter, but nicely so. Not coffee, but hot. It had a calming effect.

We lingered a while longer. Susie seemed hesitant to leave. I wondered why, but decided to use the time to get some information.

"What's after lunch, Susie? The debriefing?"

I guessed the source of her discomfort on the first try. She nodded, a little nervously.? Uh-huh. In about an hour. I've been wanting to bring it up, but kept putting it off. I can't any longer. This interview, we call it the Initial Historical and Acclimation Debriefing, or IHAD, can be a little grueling, even hostile. We-"

"Why on earth would it be hostile? It's not like I'm on trial or anything."

"Well, yes and no.? She looked around, then stood up.? Come on, let's head to our room. I'll fill you in there. You can bring your hot chocolate."

We cleaned up our places and walked the short distance to our quarters. Once inside, Susie instructed the door we were not to be disturbed. We only had one chair, so I sat on my bed, Susie in the chair. I sipped the hot chocolate, but it was nowhere near as burning as the curiosity I felt. Curiosity and worry.

"Okay, let's hear it. I am on trial? How could I be?"

"Of course you're not on trial! Unless you're a plant.? My eyes widened some as she continued.? The powers that be have been after us for over a hundred and fifty years now, but have never fully disabled us. Because of our recruitment methods and security checks on even possible recruits, they've been unable to penetrate us too deeply with spies. Until recently, when they found another way to get at us.

"About five years ago, one of our regiments, the Fourth, rescued a ripe. They did the normal checking and IHAD, but it was pretty routine. Remember, we find out everything we can about you before we even begin plans to rescue you. So the IHAD went off without difficulty, and he was integrated into the Fourth for orientation and acclimation before being assigned to a family on the outside.? That answered somewhat my concern about what awaited me once I left here. A moment's thought would have given me that answer. I was just too quick coming to conclusions, a fault of mine I had outgrown but now, being un-grown again, had reacquired. I would need to watch myself about that. Susan continued.

"Then, about three months into the Cue's acclimation, the Fourth was hit by Xeno shock troops and was nearly obliterated. The few not killed were captured and alpha suppressed. No one escaped. At first. But on the way to the camps, our unit and the Eighty-seventh hit the column and got back our people. What they told us forced us to change the way we did the IHAD, and is why you're going to have an unpleasant experience this afternoon."

I didn't like the way she said that. Sitting there, she worked her hands, almost wringing them. She obviously didn't like what was coming, but she would do it. I think I knew what it was. I decided to relieve her of the burden of telling me.

"I think I can guess why,? I said quietly.? The government, or more probably those in charge of the physiomanufacturing complex, suckered you. Since you can reconstruct a ripe's past, they probably can, too. So they find a likely candidate, re-ripe him with his own memories, then ripe him again back to what he had just been. But those memories aren't entirely original, are they? They were modified to include false memories, or embedded instructions, or some such, so that when the original was restored, the ripe would be the perfect inside agent. Probably without his knowing it."

"How did you know that?? Susan said softly.

I shook my head.? I didn't, Susie. I suppose I should be up front about this. Before I tell anything more, though, answer just one question.? I felt my heart thudding heavily in my chest, already knowing the answer,? This IHAD. It's going to be held against my will, isn't it?"

She looked at me carefully, then cast her gaze downward and nodded.

"I-I-I'm sorry, but yes. It has to be. Even if you want to cooperate fully, it has to be. You're right. Of the forty-eight cases the Resistance has uncovered so far, not a single Cue was aware of their programming or behavior modifications. It gets worse. The actual persona is destroyed during the process, so we can't even determine that there was a copy made. It's only through the IHAD that we can get deep enough into your psyche to know that it's your original persona.? She went on, anger in her voice,? I hate it!

We do everything we can to bring you back, then subject you to this. You're not even given time to get used to us, or yourself, or anything. We wake you up, then… then… attack you!? She choked off a sob.

I put down the mug and held her hands.? Susie, please don't cry.? I felt tears welling up unbidden, but forced them back.? I don't blame you. How could I? If it weren't for you and the Third, I'd still be whatever I was before. Or worse. It's because of you that I have my life back. It's new, and different, and scary, but it's mine. An invasive interrogation that insures your safety is a small price to pay for everything you've done for me.? She wiped a tear and smiled.

"I'm not exactly building up your confidence, am I, kid? I was supposed to be the one giving you support, not the other way around.? She took a breath to steady herself.? So, tell me. How did you know?

About the infiltration methods and everything? None of the plants had any idea they were subverted, so it's not that."

"No. As you and Doctor Barrett told me, I'm one of the oldest ripes you've uncovered. I'm willing to bet I was the first ripe, ever.? Then, going into moderate detail, I filled her in on my past life and my position at NATech, though I didn't mention them specifically. The story, even abridged, was apparently pretty good. Susie forgot all about my upcoming IHAD and sat there, fascinated. I must admit to feeling childishly proud of myself and was tempted to really wow her, but managed to hold my tongue. At the end, she shook her head, trying to absorb-and believe-what I'd told her.

"That's incredible! So you're saying that much of what we use today was actually envisioned by your people over six centuries ago?"

"I wouldn't go that far. I haven't seen a great deal of this world yet. And some of what I've deduced is just that: deduction. But yes, there are elements here that we were working on at the time of my first riping. If that's what it was,? I concluded.

"What do you mean, 'If that's what it was.'? It was a riping."

"Maybe that's what it ended up being. But I'm sure that's not how it started out. I'm certain that the goal was to revive me, or at least my memories, by moving them to an undamaged portion of my brain. I was completing work on…? I hesitated, then skirted,? an important project when I the accident occurred. I hadn't yet transferred my conclusions, procedures and projections into the main systems."

"And that project was that important? That they'd risk untested technology to get that information. That's ghoulish!"

"Hey, not too hard, Susie. I was probably dead or dying. There was no risk. And the technology wasn't untested, it was nonexistent. I imagine they came up with the hypothetical solution and implemented it within several days, though I don't know. In any event, they were successful in keeping me alive. But I don't have any memories beyond what I've told you. It's as though I stepped up to the elevator and woke up in the recovery room."

She shuddered.? How can you talk about dying and being experimented on and be so calm?? Without seeming to, she paid very close attention to my response.

"I don't know. It somehow seems so… removed. I know it happened to me back then. I think I may have been inadvertently electrocuted by the entry defense systems. Whatever, it's as though my head knows it was me, but I know it's not me.? I hugged myself.? For better or worse, this is me now.? I looked at her.? Does that sound right?"