Peter Prellwitz - Shards Book One

I stared.? You mean I've been a woman before this?!"

"Not you. Your false personas. But you'd have absolutely no memory of them any more than you would have memories of your other ripings."

"And the age?"

"That we do for both you and us. We do it for you because it's known that during puberty, more than just the reproductive systems mature. Everything is in a state of change and growth, including the intangibles, such as the personality and soul. When a person is rescued from their false life, their mind and, we believe, their soul need a place that is flexible, open to change. Anytime during the teen years will work.

We choose your age for our benefit because… well, to be honest, we don't exactly acquire the shells by normal means.? She left the rest of it unspoken.? And some of our 'Cues, that's what we call a rescued persona, don't adapt well at all to the sudden awakening. Some never adapt. We've found it useful-"

"Useful to have a body you can control easily, if not a mind,? I interrupted.? So how old am I? I mean biologically. Physically, I suppose they probably just whipped me up in a couple days.? It was very hard, dealing with this.

"NO! That's not so! Never think you're less than human! You are as human as me.? At my look, she continued,? I'm just a regular woman. My mom and dad live on Greater New Germany. And you're just as real. It takes a fourteen-year-old body fourteen years to grow. Which is about your age, by the way."

"About?? She nodded.? I guess you probably can't stop at the ol' computer terminal with a heisted body slung over your shoulder to get the details.? She carefully didn't look at me. I switched back to the subject.? So that means that next year I'll be fifteen, then sixteen, etc. And I'll keep growing, maturing and…? It hit me.? Wait. You mean I'm going to become a woman! Does that mean I can have, you know, bear…"

She nodded.? Yes. But don't think about that too much, now."

"Believe me, I won't!"

"But don't shut it out entirely, either. Going through puberty the second time is going to be a lot different.

And pretty soon your body will be ready to-"

"Uhhh… look,? I interrupted.? I've got the idea. I may not look it, I know I don't look it, but I'm thirty-one years old. I'm a little squeamish now, this is all so new. But I am an adult."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, er… John, you're not!? she spoke sharply.? Look, this isn't just a 'plug me into a body and I'll pick up where I left off' kind of experience. Cognitive reintegration is far more complicated and comprehensive than that. You really are fourteen years old."

I felt just a little insulted.? Susie, let's not mess up a great start. I can remember my memories. It's as though they all happened yesterday. I have my life's experiences. I understand I have to catch up, but you must admit that I'm far more mentally capable than any fourteen-year-old, girl or boy. They couldn't have nearly escaped."

"I'll grant you that. You do have your life experiences. And you are counting on those mental achievements to help you control your body. And you're right, they will help. But what makes you think that since your mind can affect your body, that your body won't affect your mind?"

I started to say something, then shut up. I didn't know. The thought of not knowing gave me a chill. I felt the goose bumps rise along my arm, and my heart gave a jump. I wasn't in complete control. I felt a little sick in my stomach. She saw the look of realization on my face.

"That's right, you don't know. We do. It does work both ways. Your memories, persona and soul are moved-not copied or imprinted-into the body and brain of a maturing teen. And both your body and brain are going through all the natural emotional, hormonal and physical changes of a young woman.

"Remember your first time through puberty? I do. Once was enough. One moment I was full of myself and immortal. The next, I was ready to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me. Well, you're going through the same changes. The hormones and chemicals that once turned you into a bag of exploding emotions, black and white opinions, and energetic borderline desperation are all bubbling away again in that thirty-one year old mind of yours. Because your brain is fourteen. Oh, it'll be easier this time around, you know you'll survive. But it'll also be new for you. And different. Very, very different. In a way, I suppose you're lucky."

"Lucky?? Her opinion of luck varied substantially from mine.

"Well, yes. We transfer every Cue into a twelve to fifteen year old body. We've done forty-seven in the last three years. And the girls have the worst time because the teen years are more intense for girls than boys. The boys don't have it much easier, but the changes are less extreme, externally and internally.

You're lucky in that while you're female now, you weren't before, so it's one time through for you."

"But it would have been even easier if you'd just transferred me into a boy's body,? I pointed out.

"I know. I'm sorry. You're the first Cue that anyone has mis-sexed. Ever. There just wasn't any information about you. There still isn't. So here you are. But count on it, it's much better than from where we rescued you.? She smiled.? And you have my word that being a woman isn't bad at all. Personal experience talking there."

"I suppose I should start listening to those 'feminine protection' commercials now,? I muttered.

She looked at me questioningly.? What's a 'feminine protection' commercial? You mean like commerce in martial arts? Or weapons?"

"Never mind.? It seemed holovision had gone the way of the mastodon. I'd let someone else mourn its passing.

We were quiet for a few moments, just staring at our swinging feet. I couldn't get over how completely they looked like my feet, even shoe clad. And yet, when I looked at Susie's feet, hers were at least my size and maybe one or two sizes larger. But she couldn't have stood over five foot three inches, which made me about four foot ten inches. I continued looking at her dangling feet and let my eyes wander up her legs, comparing them to mine. We both wore semi-baggy pants, but I could tell her legs were lithe and lean. Yet mine looked skinnier. I followed up her legs, over her modest, healthy figure and to her pretty, always smiling face. She had a glow in her brown eyes that complemented the deep, rich glow of her face. Her dark skin was the smoothest, most perfect I had ever seen, bordered by short, thick, black hair. She had a girl next door kind of face. Not stunningly beautiful, nor even modestly so. Just pretty, in all the positive ways. I smiled back at her. I could get very used to her very quickly. I owed her. Having thought the thought, I spoke it.

"I want to thank you Susie. You've really made me feel better. I don't know how long it'll be before I go crazy, but at least the ride will be easier because of you."

"That's what I've been assigned to do. Make the road, whatever one you travel, a little easier for you.

You're very important to all of us."

"Will you be assigned to me for very long?? Less than fifteen minutes ago, I'd shoved her away. Now the thought of her not being there made my chest tighten. It would really help having her near, especially the next time I was with Dr. Barrett.

"Believe it, kiddo. We're roommates now."

"Room…"

"Yep. Private quarters are only for officers, awakening Cues, and Dusty. You're none of the above, so until we figure out how to best get you back into society, you're rooming with us dogs. Pulling duty, too, in a couple, three days."

"Uh, yeah.? This was going to be very difficult. I was finally waking up to the fact that my whole life, not just the way I went to the bathroom, was hanging. Had changed.

"C'mon. It's almost breakfast. Let's grab some grub and I'll give you a tour.? She hopped off the bed and lifted me down. I wasn't that much shorter than her, less than six inches. But I was very unsteady. I lurched about two steps on my own before Susie grabbed my upper arm. I looked at her, just a little confused.