Guy Adams - The House That Jack Built - The House That Jack Built

'… hate you, hate you, hate you, hate you…'

'Pathetic man,' added the woman from the television. 'What are you for ?'

'Shut up!' Rob shouted.

And woke up…

'I barely touched him,' said Gwen, as Ianto rolled Rob over and they both stared into his vacant eyes.

'You don't know your own strength,' Ianto replied. 'What should we do with him?'

'Tie him up with that,' said Jack, handing him a roll of gaffer tape.

'Tightly,' Gwen added.

Ianto tore a length off the roll and started wrapping it around Rob's wrists. Gwen moved over to the sofa. 'Julia's out of it. Someone will have to carry her.'

'Great,' Ianto sighed. 'Half of us need carrying out of here.'

'Or dragging,' Gwen muttered, eyeing Rob.

'You'll manage.' Jack smiled and stepped out into the hallway.

'OK!' he barked so everyone could hear him. 'Thanks to Alexander, we have a way out and all of you need to take it, now .'

'And what do you propose to do then, oh loud, shouty one?' asked Alexander, who was sitting on the stairs to give Joe's shoulders a rest.

'This house is the locus for something forcing its way into our universe,' Jack replied. 'Unless we do something about that , there's no point running anywhere — everything will cease to exist in the next few minutes anyway.'

'You have a plan, of course?' asked Ianto from the lounge doorway.

'Naturally,' Jack grinned. 'If the house is the door, then the easiest thing to do to stop anyone getting in is… get rid of the house!' Ianto stared at him for a moment and then nodded. 'Good. Fine. Great plan. Good luck with that, then.'

'I know what I'm doing, but I don't have time to discuss it. Trust me,' Jack replied, cupping Ianto's face and kissing him on the cheek.

'Wahey!' shouted Joe.

'Do excuse the boy,' said Alexander. 'He's enthusiastic to the point of agony.'

'I know the type,' Ianto replied, stepping back into the lounge. He stared down at Rob. 'I know you can walk,' he said. 'Nobody slips into a coma because they have their balls punched.'

'I have powers,' said Gwen.

'A way with testicles, certainly.'

Gwen dropped to her haunches by Rob and slapped him hard on the cheek. After a moment she did it again.

'He's completely out of it,' she said, walking out into the hall.

'Thank you, Nurse Cooper,' Ianto muttered, trying to wrestle Rob onto his shoulders.

Jack worked his way through the storage compartments in the rear of the SUV, grabbing a couple of packs of plastic explosive and a timed detonator, then walked back into the house.

'Definitely a subtle plan, then?' Alexander joked, spotting the explosive.

Gwen came out of the lounge.

'I need to borrow your friend,' she said to Alexander. 'Julia's a dead weight, and he seems a strapping lad.' She grinned at Joe, who, of course, grinned back.

'Strapping,' he said.

'Very well,' Alexander sighed. 'Hannah? Your turn on piggyback duty.'

'Oh God!' Hannah moaned, walking over to the stairs. 'That is so unfair.'

'I'll have you know that there are many civilisations who would consider it an honour. Besides, look at me — you've worn heavier coats in your time.'

She mumbled under her breath but had no choice but to let him climb on.

'Who are these two, anyway?' Jack asked.

'Deputies,' Alexander replied. 'I drafted them to the cause. You owe Joe a new car and Hannah some kitchen equipment.'

Jack shook his head. 'Whatever. We can worry about them later.' He turned to Gwen. 'Keep your eye on them.'

She nodded. 'Of course.'

'OK… Now will you all get out of here?' Jack began herding them through the door.

Ianto and Joe grunted their way out of the lounge, only one of them smiling. As soon as everyone was outside, Jack slammed the door behind them, took a deep breath and ran up the stairs.

'Hold it still!' Alexander moaned, trying to track the waveform movements on the PDA screen as Hannah held it up for him.

'Whatever,' she whinged, though the drug in her system was still in full effect so she froze like a statue.

Alexander gripped the brolly tight against the force of the rain and compared the readings in front of him to the driveway ahead. It was getting much harder to tell, the ripples moving even faster now as the disruption increased.

'I think…' he said, screwing up his eyes and trying to find the weak points, 'I think it's over…'

'Shut up!' Rob roared, thrashing on Ianto's shoulders and sending both of them tumbling to the ground. Rob was quick to his feet, grabbing the PDA from Hannah's hands and pushing Alexander from her shoulders.

Alexander shouted in pain as he landed badly, the sound of his wrist snapping audible even over Rob's ranting.

'Get out of my house!' he was screaming. 'Give me back my wife and get out!'

'Did nobody think to bind his legs?' Alexander shouted.

'What do I do?' Joe asked.

'Oh, give her to him!' Alexander replied. 'Just get the waveform reader back or we'll never get out of here.'

'No!' Gwen shouted. 'Keep her away from him, Joe.'

Joe made a childlike whining noise. The drug programmed him to obey, but it didn't care who was giving the orders. He didn't know what to do.

'Typical,' Alexander moaned, cradling his broken wrist. 'We're about to get caught in a time-space collapse, and Torchwood Girl wants to worry about an abusive relationship. Let the apes do their thing, I say.'

Rob was moving perilously close to the edge of the drive and the waveform. 'Burst the sky and know real fears!' he shouted, fragments of his dream returning to him.

Ianto had rolled over to the SUV. Reaching into the glove compartment, he pulled out the spare handgun he knew Jack made a habit of stashing there.

'Hand the reader over,' he shouted, pointing the gun at Rob, 'and… well… stop being such a pain in the arse, frankly.'

'Oh, very good,' Alexander muttered. 'But I think we can all see he's beyond the point of negotiation.' He beckoned Hannah closer and began to whisper in her ear.

As Jack moved up the stairs, he could feel the air shifting around him. The entities must be close to entering, reality was beginning to fall apart. At the first-floor landing, Kerry Robinson held out her opened wrists to him, dripping more than bath water onto the carpet at her feet.

'It'll stop hurting soon,' he promised her as he ran past and up the next flight of stairs.

He wasn't surprised to see Alison floating high in the corner of the upstairs room, but was careful to avoid stepping too close. He didn't have time to get caught in the reeds of her little bubble of hell.

'I'll do what I can,' he said, moving carefully across the floorboards, trying to find the doorways he'd experienced before. He only hoped they were still…

He found himself in Rob and Julia's bedroom, both of them now thankfully asleep. Carefully, he backed up into the upstairs room and worked his way around the tear in space-time, waving his fingers in front of him to find its edges.

If that one was still there then that meant… his hand vanished up to the wrist in front of him.

He was briefly aware of the smell of onions before he stepped forward and vanished.

***

'Life's so unfair,' moaned Hannah, walking towards Joe.

'Stay back!' Rob shouted. 'I just want all of you out of here, go on…'

'Idiot,' Hannah said to Joe. 'Give him the woman, as long as he hands over the thing in his hands, and ignore what anyone else says.'

'Oh…' The relief on Joe's face was immense. 'Hey, mister, do swaps?'

Gwen tried to push Joe back, but Hannah punched her in the jaw.

'That hurt my bloody hand!' she shouted, walking alongside Joe towards Rob.