James White - The Galactic Gourmet

“That particular problem,” said Gurronsevas firmly, “has been solved. Just do as I say.”

When Sarnyagh’s image disappeared, he went on to Lioren, “Perhaps I will not murder it, after all. But if you could tell me how to inflict some non-lethal injuries requiring a lengthy and uncomfortable period of recuperation, I would be grateful.”

“I hope you are joking,” said Lioren uncertainly. “But is the problem really solved? And how?”

“I am joking,” he replied. “And yes, your epidemic of so-called food poisoning is over. I’ll tell you about it quickly so that you can contact Diagnostician Conway at once. It was a simple matter of …”

“No, Gurronsevas,” Lioren interrupted gently. “This is your specialty. Conway is one of the few people who knows you are here. You will save time by telling it yourself.”

A few minutes later, Diagnostician Conway was staring intently at him from the screen as he began to describe the unauthorized change that had been made in DBDG Menu Eleven Twenty-one.

He went on, “It occurred because of my then ignorance, which has been rectified within the past few minutes, regarding a little-known side effect of the Earth herb, nutmeg, which is a taste enhancer that I like to use with this particular dish. Although it is no longer listed as a toxic substance, probably because its unpleasant gastric side effects when taken in quantity made it unpopular as a drug, in the distant past nutmeg was known as a mild hallucinogen. That was many centuries ago, when the use of mind-damaging drugs was common in several cultures. The quantity used in meal DBDG Eleven Twenty-one was one hundred times the specified amount. The Earth-human DBDGs and other species, taking it for the first time in these quantities, would be likely to suffer from progressively increasing hallucinations, lack of physical and mental coordination and nausea of the type that has been described to me.

“The error is being rectified as we speak,” Gurronsevas added, “and the DBDG food service operation will be fully restored within the next two hours. The symptoms will fade rapidly and, according to the historical reference, the recovery of non-habitual users, your patients, will be complete within a few days. I am certain that your emergency is over.”

For a moment Diagnostician Conway was silent except for the sound made by a long, slow exhalation of breath. Its recessed eyes swiveled to look past Gurronsevas at Lioren and the casualty deck behind them, then it smiled and said, “So you were right after all, Padre Lioren, and we were frightening ourselves needlessly over a widespread but basically simple digestive upset. And you, Gurronsevas, have solved our problem within a few minutes without even being here. That was nice work, Chief Dietitian. But what do you suggest we do with the food technician responsible?”

“Nothing,” said Gurronsevas. “I have always accepted responsibility for the professional conduct, including the few mistakes, of my subordinates. Sarnyagh will be disciplined if and when I return.”

Behind him Lioren made a quiet, untranslatable sound. Conway nodded and said, “I understand. But your return may not be for some time. Now that the epidemic scare is over, we will be launching Rhabwar within the hour.”

Following Lioren’s lengthy farewell, and even lengthier exhortations against exercising his initiative too freely and the necessity for making friends, Gurronsevas had so much to think about that only a few minutes seemed to pass before there came another, expected interruption. It was the sound of movement forward, suggesting that several people were entering the ship through the crew access lock, and one of them was moving aft along the central well on the way to the Power Room. Simultaneously, another group entered the other end of the boarding tube and approached rapidly. From the babble of other-species word sounds he estimated that there were four different voices, but they were speaking too quietly for his translator to separate them. Quickly he dimmed the lighting, raised the bed-screen and concealed himself behind it.

As they entered the casualty deck the lighting came on at full intensity, the voices fell silent and there was the loud, unmistakable hiss and thump of the airlock closing.

The lengthening silence was broken by a voice speaking quietly in the musical trills and clickings of its native Cinrusskin speech, so that the translated words were unnecessary for the identification of the speaker.

“I sense your presence close by, my friend,” said Prilicla. “At present and until the hyperspace insertion is complete, the casualty deck will not be in sound or vision contact with Control. You are among friends, Gurronsevas, so please lower that screen and show yourself.”

There was a moment’s silence while he stared at the four of them and they at him, then the Kelgian member of the medical team said, “Gurronsevas! You are that Gurronsevas? I thought you had left the hospital.”

Murchison laughed softly and said, “You were right, Charge Nurse, it had.”

“Friend Gurronsevas,” said Prilicla as it fluttered gracefully into the air to hover above his head. “You already know Pathologist Murchison and myself, and we were not surprised by your presence because O’Mara told us that you were already on board, and why. Doctor Danalta and, as you can see from the agitated state of its fur, Charge Nurse Naydrad did not expect you, and may have seen you only at a distance. But in a ship of this size there are no distances, so we will have no choice but to become very close acquaintances and, I believe, friends.”

A large mound of dull green, wrinkled jelly wobbled closer, extruded a single eye, ear and mouth and said, “We have seen each other on several occasions but, as a polymorph, there were personal or clinical reasons why I was looking like something else at the time. You do not show the surprise, even aversion, that many entities display when meeting me for the first time. I am very pleased to make your closer acquaintance.”

“And I yours, Doctor Danalta,” said Gurronsevas. “Your name and work are familiar to me because to, ah, pass my waiting time here I ran the log of recent missions, including the part you played in many of them. Even though the medical details were beyond me it was fascinating viewing. Towards the end I did not want to pass the time in any other way.”

Prilicla settled slowly to the deck, its incredibly fragile, iridescent body quivering, but with the slow, gentle tremor that indicated pleasant emotional radiation in the area. It said, “The Chief Dietitian is too polite to mention it, but friend Gurronsevas has feelings of the most intense curiosity. Since the rest of us are fairly normal life-forms I must assume that its curiosity is regarding you, friend Danalta. Would you like to satisfy it?”

“Of course it would,” said Naydrad, rippling its back fur disdainfully. “Our medical superblob likes nothing better than impressing strangers.”

And it was also used to dealing with the other’s impoliteness, Gurronsevas saw, because it quickly extruded a three-digited, Kelgian fore-limb and made a gesture with it which disturbed Naydrad’s fur even more and said, “I would be happy to do so. But what is it about me that particularly interests you, Chief Dietitian?”

As they continued talking, the view from the direct vision panels around them showed that Rhabwar was edging its way through the sprawling, three-dimensional maze of the hospital’s outer structures and the traffic markers. Once it was in clear space, Gurronsevas had learned, thrust would be applied which would take it out to the prescribed Jump distance where the hospital’s more delicate items of equipment would not be affected by Rhabwar’s entry into an artificial universe that the ship had created for itself. But the time was passing very quickly and pleasantly because Danalta liked talking about itself and, unusually with such people, knew how to make the subject interesting.