James White - The Galactic Gourmet

“This is shameful!” Gurronsevas burst out. “If, through some miscarriage of the law and deformation of Monitor Corps’ regulations, I am to be held responsible for this damage, then I shall pay for it. I am not poor, but if I do not have sufficient funds, then deductions can be made from my salary until the cost is repaid in full.”

“If you had the life span of a Groalterri,” said O’Mara, “that might be possible. But it isn’t, and in any case, you will not be asked to pay for the damage. It has been decided that the tractor-beamers have become so fast and proficient in their work that they may have grown a little over-confident, and their safety procedures are being tightened. Between the Corps budget and Trivennleth’s insurance brokers, the financial aspect will be taken care of and need not concern you. But there is another price that you are already paying and I’m not sure if you can afford it. You are losing your reserves of good will.

“During your visit to Trivennleth and subsequent unscheduled EVA,” O’Mara went on, without allowing him time to speak, “less catastrophic events were taking place in the AUGL ward. The convalescent Chalders became overexcited while chasing their self-propelled lunch and, according to Charge Nurse Hredlichli, all but wrecked the ward. Specifically, eleven sections of internal wall plating were seriously deformed and four Chalder sleeping frames were damaged beyond repair, fortunately without ill effects to the patients occupying them at the time.

“I know that Hredlichli is obligated to you,” the Major went on, “because of improvements you made in the Illensan menu, but at present I would not say that it considers itself to be your friend. The same situation exists with Lieutenant Timmins, who is responsible for repairing the damage not only to the Chalder ward but minor sub-structures in Bay Twelve.

“But it is Colonel Skempton that you should worry about, and avoid meeting, because he wants you fired from the hospital and returned to your previous planet of origin. Forthwith.”

For a moment Gurronsevas could not speak. It was as if his immobile, domed cranium were a dormant volcanic mountain about to split open under the double pressures of shame and fury over the fate that had allowed such a cruel injustice to be perpetrated on a being as professionally accomplished, and with so much to offer this establishment, as himself. But it was the feeling of shame which predominated, and so he forced himself to speak the only words that could be spoken in this situation.

Gurronsevas turned to leave, making no attempt to muffle the sound of his feet, and said, “I shall tender my resignation, effective immediately.”

“I have found,” said O’Mara in a voice that was quiet but somehow managed to halt Gurronsevas in mid-turn, “that words like forthwith and immediately are used very loosely. Consider.

“A ship bound for Traltha or Nidia or wherever else you decide to go,” the Chief Psychologist went on, “may not call at Sector General for several weeks; or, if you choose to go to an obscure Tralthan colony-world infrequently visited by commercial or Monitor Corps vessels, for much longer than that. The delay would enable you to complete any current projects before you have to leave. This would benefit the hospital, provided you do not involve it in any more near-catastrophes. And you personally would benefit because the longer you spend here the less likely it will seem to outsiders, including your colleagues in the multi-species hotel business, that your separation from Sector General was involuntary and your professional reputation would suffer minimum damage.

“Insofar as it is possible for a Tralthan,” O’Mara continued, showing its teeth briefly, “try to keep a low profile. Do nothing to attract Colonel Skempton’s attention, nor annoy anyone else in authority, and you will find that your departure will be something less than immediate.”

“But eventually,” said Gurronsevas, making a statement rather than a question, “I will have to go.”

“The Colonel insisted that you leave the hospital soonest,” it said, “and I promised that you would. Had I not done so you would have been confined to quarters.”

The Chief Psychologist sat back in its chair, giving a clear, non-verbal indication that the interview was at an end. Gurronsevas remained where he was.

“I understand,” he said. “And I would like to say that you have shown sensitivity and concern for my feelings in this situation. Your reaction is, well, surprising and confusing, because I could not imagine an entity with your reputation acting in such a sympathetic fashion …”

He broke off in embarrassment, aware that the attempt to express his gratitude was verging on the insulting. O’Mara sat forward in its chair again.

“Let me dispel some of your confusion,” it said. “I am, of course, aware of your covert tinkering with my menu, and have been from the beginning. And no, the outer office staff did not betray you. You forget that I am a psychologist, and the type of continuous, non-verbal signals they were emitting was impossible to hide from me. And you betrayed yourself by significantly improving the taste of meals which were formerly so tasteless that I could safely engage my mind with more important matters while eating. But not any more. Valuable time is wasted wondering what new culinary surprise lies in ambush, or speculating afterwards on precisely how you achieved a particular taste. Not all of your changes were for the better, and I have sent you a list of my reactions to all of them together with suggestions for further modifications.”

“That is most kind of you, sir,” said Gurronsevas.

“I am not being kind,” said O’Mara sharply. “Nor sympathetic, nor do I possess any of the other qualities you are trying to attribute to me. I have no reason to be grateful to a being who is merely doing its job. Is there anything else you want to say to me before you leave?”

“No,” said Gurronsevas.

He could hear the movable furniture and O’Mara’s desk ornaments rattling as he stamped out of the office.

“What happened?” said Cha Thrat when the door had closed behind him. From the way they were staring at him, it was obvious that the Sommaradvan was speaking for Lioren and Braithwaite as well.

Anger and embarrassment made it difficult for Gurronsevas to keep his voice at a conversational level as he replied, “I am to leave the hospital, not immediately but soon. Until then I am to do my job, as O’Mara calls it, without attracting attention to myself. I’m afraid the Major knows that you cooperated with me in making the menu changes. It was pleased with them but not grateful. Will any of you suffer because of the conspiracy?”

Braithwaite shook its head. “If O’Mara had wanted us to suffer, we’d have known about it by now. But try to look on the bright side, Gurronsevas, and do as he says. After all, the Major seems to approve of some of the things you are doing and wants you to continue doing them. If he had been displeased, well, you would not have been leaving soon but on the first ship going anywhere. You don’t know what will happen.”

“I know,” said Gurronsevas miserably, “that Colonel Skempton wants to get rid of me.”

“Perhaps,” said Lioren gently, “you could covertly introduce substances into the Colonel’s meals which would eliminate the problem by—”

“Padre!” said Braithwaite.

“I did not mean substances of lethal toxicity,” Lioren went on, “but taste-enhancers similar to those used on Major O’Mara. There is a saying current among Earth-human DBDGs that the way to a man’s heart lies through its stomach.”

“Surely,” said Cha Thrat, “a questionable and risky surgical procedure.”