Anne Winchell - The Last War

“It’s me, Nalia.”

“Nalia is dead. Prove your identity or die.”

Nalia tried to think of some way to prove her identity when the most obvious solution popped into her head. She would transform into a díamont. She wasn’t wearing any metal so there was no risk, and no one else could possibly transform. She shut her eyes and felt the familiar paralysis that always frightened her, then she opened her eyes. Jess and the others were cowering in fear.

“I told you, it’s me. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“You sided with Medane,” Jess accused. “That’s how you escaped the blast.”

“No,” Nalia said, already seeing how difficult her job was going to be. How could she persuade them to join with the government in this conflict if they thought the government caused the bomb in the first place? “Where is my father?”

Jess hesitated. “He’s gone.”

Nalia transformed out of her díamont form abruptly. “What do you mean, gone? Did he try to follow me? Where is he?”

In her heart she already knew the answer. He was dead, and it was confirmed by the sudden sympathy she saw in Jess and the other rebels. Her father was dead, and all because she had chased after a man. He had warned her about Bryce, warned her that Bryce was trouble, but she hadn’t listened. She had run to Medane, the enemy, and persuaded Medane to find Bryce, and now NeoLondon was razed and her father was dead. It was all her fault.

She dropped to her knees and was aware of Jess putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. All of the energy seemed to flow out of her body. The bracelet seemed to tighten uncomfortably around her wrist and she could feel every vein in her body, as if her very blood were boiling. Her father was dead. Nothing could bring him back. She had run away without saying anything, even goodbye. Now she would never see him again. She collapsed on the ground.

“Nalia,” she heard Jess say. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

But she couldn’t respond. Her body was locked; her vocal chords boiling with her blood. Her father, gone. Permanently. She thought of Raven and the precious moments they had shared together. Was it worth losing her father? She didn’t know. All she knew was that she would never see her father again, and her body was shutting down. Something was seriously wrong.

Raven paced the embassy, angry and frustrated. Kaela was still here, trapped like him because of the threat from Atheus, but the others had all left. He had heard nothing from them. Nothing. Not even whether or not Lydia was alive. He was forbidden from accessing any computers and the guards who followed him every minute of the day were strict enough that he couldn’t even get close to a monitor. Kaela was under looser surveillance, he knew, and he resented her for it. She could find out about Lydia and the others, but she didn't.

He thought about losing his guards, but he knew that Atheus was nearby and undoubtedly had people stationed just outside the embassy, waiting for Raven to do exactly that. He would put up with the surveillance if it meant being protected from Atheus, but there was only so much running he could do. He hadn’t yet told anyone that he had agreed to serve Atheus. The shame of the memory still ran deep. He thought of how Medane would look away in disappointment, how Nalia would draw back in disgust. At times it felt as though he were branded with Atheus’s mark and he wondered that no one noticed. As long as Atheus was alive, he was a slave.

As he paced, he caught sight of Kaela and her entourage. She looked up at him hopefully but he was in too foul a mood to be nice.

“What are you up to?” she asked.

“Absolutely nothing,” he snapped.

He regretted his harsh tone instantly as she withdrew and seemed to close up. She was under just as much stress as him, he reminded himself. He had no right to be cruel to her.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just this place.”

“I know.” She toed the ground. “It’s not just this place, it’s this life. I didn’t ask to be this way. I just wanted a normal, ordinary life, but instead I’m stuck here, trapped here, because of something that I didn’t have any control over. It isn’t fair.”

Raven reached out to touch her shoulder and she leapt away from his touch.

“I don’t want your pity,” she said. “People are dead because of me.”

“You think you’re alone in that? We’re all responsible. And in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m trapped here too.”

“Yeah, but you chose your life.”

Raven thought back to his childhood, to the murder that had determined the rest of his life. He didn’t even remember it, although he thought about it so much that he had created false memories of it. Killing the man who killed his parents and earning the death penalty under Kaonism. No, he had not chosen his life. He had been forced into it because he grew up running, always running. Even though the officer who helped smuggle him out of the West found him a good home, he always felt like the government was out to get him and he had run to the rebellion, the only place free of government control. The only place where his past didn’t matter.

But it did matter, and he realized with a shock that he had never told Nalia about it. She had slept with him not knowing the most basic fact about him: that he was a killer. She must have known, he reasoned. She knew the rumors, she saw the room after he was taken by the kidnappers. She knew he killed people. But she didn’t know how young he was when he made his first kill.

Kaela watched him with something like pity in her eyes, and he held his hand out to her. She took it. He knew she wanted more out of the relationship, but he was only prepared to give friendship. Still, there was no harm in a hug under these trying conditions. She held him tightly and her body trembled. He knew she was trying to keep back tears. She probably didn’t want to cry in front of the guards. He had already done his crying after Nalia left. She was the only pure, joyous thing in his life and she was gone.

One of the guards stepped forward and placed his hand on Raven’s shoulder. Raven was shocked; they were there for protection, not to interfere with anything he did. The guard’s hand dropped to Raven’s side and then the guard backed up. None of the other guards seemed to have noticed anything, or if they did they didn’t react. Raven glanced at his side and saw a note in his pocket. He took Kaela’s hand and led her to his private room, the only place the guards weren’t allowed. There were no electronics and no exits at all, not even vents or windows, so Raven was considered safe when he was inside.

Once the door was closed, he read the note. Then he read it again, his mind and hands numb with fear.

Nalia will die unless you meet with me. Seattle Center. I will be waiting. Atheus

Kaela took the note from him and gasped.

“How did you get this? That guard? He must work for Atheus. We have to tell Lethe. We’re not safe here anymore.”

“Nalia’s not safe,” Raven whispered. “I have to get to Seattle.”

“You’re not actually going to do this, are you? It’s a trap, it’s obviously a trap.”

“But Nalia—”

“We don’t even know if she’s in danger. At least find that out before you run off.”

Raven hesitated. She made a good point. It was foolish to go into a trap without knowing all of the information beforehand. He would speak with Lethe and see if Nalia was in danger. Lethe had been avoiding him lately, but he would track the díamont down and force answers out of him. If there was any truth to Atheus’s threat, Raven would run away in an instant to try to save his Nalia.