Mainak Dhar - Heroes R Us

He spent an agonizing night thinking about his situation. He had finally found something he could remotely think of as a mission for his life-something that gave him a sense of purpose and made him feel like he was more than just another anonymous middle-class boy running in the rat race to earn a livelihood. That seemed like a distant dream now-all of it having been destroyed in one fell swoop.

How naïve had he been! Upadhyay and Balwant Singh had been proven right after all. One man, no matter how strong or no matter what superpowers he was endowed with, could do little to change the rot and corruption in the system they had created and ruled over. Arnab felt that perhaps he had just let his powers go to his head, and led himself to believe that he could challenge the likes of Balwant Singh and get away with it. Now he knew better. Then Arnab thought about how fickle public opinion was. Mindless drones! One day they were worshipping him, and the next they were throwing shoes at him! No wonder people like Balwant Singh could mess with their minds so easily. Perhaps it was true that people got the system they deserved-and why should he destroy his life trying to help those who couldn't even see who was really on their side?

Arnab's phone buzzed. It was a message from Aggarwal.

'Like I said, every man has his price. I would have paid better, and you wouldn't have got so much negative press. Too bad you didn't take my offer.'

Arnab flung his phone into a corner. He lay down on his bed again and closed his eyes, but there was little sleep to be had that night.

***

Arnab reached work the next morning and saw Jayantada tut-tutting to himself as he read the newspaper. He looked up at Arnab as he entered the library.

'Seen this superhero business? What a shame.'

By now Arnab had seen and heard enough to not react to one more dig at him, and he looked at Jayantada and said,

'Jayantada, this is no time or place for heroes.'

'You can say that again. By the way, Arnab, what happened to the exams you were planning to write?'

Arnab had been mentally kicking himself all the way to work that morning. He had been so carried away in his new life that he had totally neglected what had once been of utmost importance to him. The bank exams were in just a week's time and he was woefully unprepared. But then he had resolved that he was going to get his life back on track. He had forgotten who he was and what he had to do, so lost had he been in his delusions of grandeur. He was no superhero, and he would keep his accursed abilities a secret. He would get back to being just good old Arnab Bannerjee. He replied to Jayantada,

'One of the exams is next week. Jayantada, do you mind if I just stay a bit late in the library and study? I'll lock on the way out.'

'No problems. Best of luck.'

For the next few days, there were no nocturnal missions, no training sessions at Khan's place and no more run-ins with goons, in uniform or otherwise. Arnab hit the books with a vengeance, studying for more than a dozen hours a day. He would come into work early, and stay back late till six or seven in the evening, studying in the deserted library. Once back home, he would again immerse himself in his books. It was difficult to totally forget all he had been through, and he did have some lasting regrets-like the way things had turned out with Mishti, but Arnab decided that the only way to deal with what had happened was to forget the events of the last few months as if they had been no more than a dream, and to get on with his life.

On the day of the exam, Arnab asked Jayantada for a day off, and when he entered the examination hall, all his preparations of the last few days were distilled in a frenzy of writing as he began tackling the questions. He barely looked up to see what was happening around him or to even check the time. When he did finally look up, he had finished the paper, and realized that he had completed with a few minutes to spare. One final check, and Arnab handed in his paper and walked out, feeling that he had acquitted himself as well as he could have hoped to have done.

That evening, as he was sitting at home watching TV, he heard a knock on the door. It was Chintu.

'Uncle, mummy says that the superhero is not for real. Please come and show her. Please show her how strong you are and that you're the superhero.'

It suddenly struck Arnab that amidst all that had happened; he had totally forgotten that Chintu was the other person who had an inkling of his powers. Then he reminded himself that he was just being paranoid. Nobody would take a little child's talk about a superhero in the building seriously, especially when that superhero was Arnab Bannerjee.

'Chintu, there is no superhero. It was all a story. Now go on home, your mummy will be looking for you.'

But the little boy would not give up easily. He looked at Arnab with innocent, hurt eyes, pleading with him.

'But I know you're for real. I know. Please tell them that you're not just a story.'

'Chintu, there is no goddamn superhero. Now go home!'

Sobbing, Chintu ran away, and Arnab cursed himself for having lost his temper with a little child. Just then, Khan entered his room.

'Arnab, shouting at a child won't make you feel better.'

Arnab looked at Khan and knew what was coming so he pre-empted it.

'Khan chacha, I cannot do it any more. It is just not worth it. I just want to get back to my normal life.'

Khan sat down on a chair opposite Arnab.

'Arnab, why do you assume you can conclude whether it's worth it or not? Ask the hundreds, if not thousands of people whose lives and property you've saved. The people whom you've given some hope that there is someone who will stand up for them.'

Arnab was going to have none of it.

'Yes, the same people who are today out to crucify me! They deserve what they're getting.'

'Arnab, you don't really mean that.'

'No Khan chacha, I do. I mean every word of it. I have had enough. Enough of being a victim of circumstances, enough of being at the mercy of people like Balwant Singh. Finally, I'm going to lead my life the way I want.'

Khan decided to try one last time.

'Arnab, but don't you see? You were making a big difference. You had such a sense of purpose. What you were doing meant so much to so many people. Surely, it must be worth fighting for.'

Arnab was in a foul mood and instantly regretted the next words out of his mouth.

'Khan chacha, I can't mess up my life because it gives you a sense of purpose.'

A sad expression clouded over the old man's face, and he left without saying another word. Arnab slammed his fist into the wall, angry with himself for having hurt the man who had saved his life. But there was no way he was going to go back on his decision. As he turned on the TV, he noted with exasperation that the anchor was talking about him.

'As we've been reporting, the so-called superhero has disappeared. Perhaps he has gone into hiding after his scandals were exposed on this channel. Perhaps it is time we all learnt that we are indeed in the age of vice and evil and not an age where there are any genuine heroes to be found.'

Arnab truly felt that the best decision he had ever made was to get back to what had been his normal life. While he waited for the entrance exam results to come in, he dove into his work with an unprecedented frenzy. Even Jayantada, forsaking his usual sarcastic comments, took him aside one day.

'Arnab, I wanted to tell you something.'

'Sure, Jayantada.'

The old man shuffled a bit and looked down at his feet. Clearly complimenting someone did not come easily to him.

'Arnab, you have been doing your work so well that I feel like I don't even need to be here. Well done.'