John Marsden - Circle of fight

There was a pause on the other end of the line. I felt triumphant. I knew I’d shaken him. It probably wouldn’t be for very long but it was a tiny victory to me. The first one I’d had since this awful thing started.

The victory lasted maybe three seconds. Till he said, ‘You find out. You can find out if you want. You make it your business to find out.’

Then he hung up. I hadn’t expected that. I thought we were in for a fairly long conversation, that he’d start telling me conditions, meeting points, whatever. But I told myself, maybe with more desperation than anything, maybe it was good. It might mean that I had shaken him and left him unable to go on to the next step. I’d wanted to buy time and now it seemed like I had. The only question was what to spend it on.

The call did give me hope that Gavin was alive. And it turned an unknown force into a slightly more known force. I’d started with an equation that read x=a+b+c, but now I knew c was a positive number, somewhere between 0 and a few million, or whatever the population was across the border, so that was a step forwards. Wasn’t it?

If I’d shaken him, he’d shaken Lee. Suddenly Lee went crazy. I was about to sit down and talk this through with him and I wanted to do that, desperately needed to do it. The debriefing. My nerves were quivering from the phone call. My body, my emotions, my whole being, craved this conversation. Instead of which Lee bolted over to where the firearms were sitting on the dining-room table and practically threw the rifle at me.

‘What are you doing?’ I yelled at him. I thought he must want us both to go careering off to Havelock and find the group of terrorists and shoot the lot of them.

‘They’re watching the house,’ he yelled back. ‘They’re out there now.’

I was mystified, but only for a moment. Then I put together the same clues he had. The police had driven away, abandoning their watch on the house. Five minutes later the kidnappers ring me. What were the odds? Either this was an amazing coincidence or they were waiting till the moment when they could make contact and have no fear of the cops getting in their way. Nevertheless I grabbed Lee’s arm to hold him as he headed for the back door with the shotgun. ‘Wait!’ I said. ‘Is this going to help Gavin or make things worse for him?’

When he paused I added, ‘They wouldn’t have Gavin anywhere near here. So there’ll just be a spy or two, probably two, watching us and reporting back to headquarters. If we get lucky and kill them, chances are whoever’s holding Gavin will take it out on him.’

I felt the pressure in Lee’s arm relax a bit, so I let it go. ‘That’s true,’ he said slowly. ‘But if we did get lucky and kill them before they got any message back that we were chasing them, well, what happens then? The rest of their organisation never knows what’s happened to them. They can’t know if they got killed in a car accident or committed suicide or defected or fell in love with you and you’ve all gone off to Fiji together. It’s like us with those New Zealand guys during the war. The ones who were going to take the airport apart. We still don’t know what happened to them.’

‘And,’ I said, feeling an all-too-familiar excitement, an excitement that was not always unwelcome, gathering inside me, ‘if we did get lucky and kill them, it would take quite a long time for their friends to realise that they’d gone missing, and quite a long time for their friends to organise a new way of getting in touch with me. So for that time they’d keep Gavin safe, because he’s their bargaining chip.’

‘We’d probably buy forty-eight hours, maybe quite a bit more,’ Lee said.

His face had hardened and he was inching towards the door again.

‘Better still if we caught them,’ I said. ‘We could hand them over to the police and they could ask them a few questions.’

‘Hand them over to Liberation,’ Lee said grimly. ‘We’d ask them a few questions. We’d get answers too.’

It seemed that we’d made up our minds. We each took a gun, Lee the shotgun and me the. 22-250. I suddenly realised that if they were watching the house closely they’d see us straightaway, armed and dangerous. I ran and grabbed the first thing I could find that looked like it might be big enough to hold two guns. It was a funny old suitcase, long and battered and dusty, which was on top of the wardrobe in my parents’ bedroom. I knew that if there were a couple of terrorists out there and they saw us they’d think this long suitcase was pretty suspicious, but at least they couldn’t be certain of anything. It might confuse them a little, buy us an extra minute or two before they were certain of what we were up to.

We sauntered out to the machinery shed, chatting like old friends, making like we were on our way to the shops to pick up a litre of milk. Again this wouldn’t be very convincing to anyone, considering I’d just had a phone call from kidnappers who’d taken my brother, but anything to slow down their responses, keep them off balance, the way they’d kept me for a couple of days now. If it was theatre for an invisible audience, that was OK, but if it was theatre for an audience that didn’t exist, then we were wasting our time.

Once we got into the machinery shed we stopped acting so casual. ‘Let’s take the ute,’ I said.

‘No, the bikes,’ Lee said. ‘They’re more mobile.’

In a way I think it was a bit of a boy-girl thing, a Lee-Ellie thing. I wanted to be with someone, with him, but he was still like he’d always been — the lone wolf. Lee wanted to ride off on his own and battle the dark forces; I wanted to battle the dark forces too, but with someone I could trust, so we could fight it out together. Lee thought that being on your own made you stronger. He travels fastest who travels alone. I thought that being on your own left you exposed. I would have felt too vulnerable on a motorbike by myself. One for all and all for one, that was my motto.

It made me want to reach out to him and gather him in, not to bring him home and domesticate him, but to try to break through that shell he put around himself. Some people might say it was a hard shell, but I wouldn’t. I’d say it was a powerful one.

Instead I took charge and headed for the ute. This wasn’t something Lee liked but I knew I could get away with it because it was my territory and this was my business. We unpacked the firearms again, loaded both of them, and got in. We didn’t have a plan — I didn’t even know where we were going, let alone what we’d do when we got there — I just figured the best thing was to go for a cruise through the paddocks and see what we could see.

But I did do a bit of thinking as we went. Thinkdriving, there ought to be a law against it. I said to Lee, ‘They’ll be in a place where they’ve got a good view of the property but where the cops didn’t search. Where they’d be pretty confident no-one would bother to search. That could include the whole of Tailor’s Stitch.’

‘Long way away.’

‘It’s not the only place though.’

‘They’ve got to have mobile reception too. That’d rule out some of Tailor’s Stitch.’

‘Yeah, good point, I never thought of that.’

I drove slowly, both of us scanning the hills and paddocks as we strained our brains to be faster and smarter than our eyes. Apart from Tailor’s Stitch there were two places I thought were possible, both within a few kilometres. Of course it was silly to rule out Tailor’s Stitch because it was further away, like the story about the guy who loses his car keys on one side of the street but goes looking for them on the other side because the light there is better. But I hadn’t ruled out Tailor’s Stitch, I just thought it would be smart to check out the easier places first. I did think that the paddock we call One Tree was worth a look. I headed the car up there, going slowly, like we were enjoying a Sunday afternoon drive. I wanted to confuse anyone who was watching. Of course if they’d thought about it for a moment they’d have realised how ridiculous it was that I’d be going for a Sunday afternoon drive just after getting the phone call about Gavin, but this was again about sowing seeds of doubt, buying ourselves a few extra minutes. It did occur to me that if they were hiding close by and had a good shot at us they could kill me nice and easily right now with a well-directed bullet to my head, but then they’d miss the opportunity to get the Pimple.