Ryan Boudinot - Blueprints of the Afterlife

There she was again.

The same girl, in the same place, in the same position. Same black hair, white shirt, black pants. Woo-jin leaned over and puked, witnessing the remnants of the sandwiches, apple, and cookies he had devoured on the wind-battered mesa the night before, introduced into this particular plane of reality. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and looked again.

The girl grabbed his arm and screamed, “Help me! Help me! Help me! ”

The tape roll a bit here before we get… Luke? You need anything, Luke?

No, I’m fine.

I thought we could first talk about Nick Fedderly. About when he was a kid.

Sure. I first met Nick in kindergarten. Everyone knew he was poor. When he came to birthday parties nobody expected him to bring a present. When he came to one of mine he gave me a used Mad magazine, which was a big deal. The money he saved up to buy it. He lived with his mom—her name was Star—in what was basically a shack out in the woods on Bainbridge, in a place we all called Hippie Hill. This was before the real estate boom of the eighties and nineties. The island was back-to-the-landers, some berry farmers, very simple living. You got to Nick’s house on a narrow road through the trees. It was almost like there was no ditch, just enough room for one car. And no gravel, just rutted mud. Steep. If it was raining, forget it. But at the top of the hill the drive opened into a little meadow with the shack. Smoke coming out of a stovepipe. At the edge of the property was the frame of a house that Nick’s father had started building but died before finishing. In the shack they didn’t have any electricity or gas heat and they cooked all their meals on a woodstove. His mom always looked exhausted. She would have been in her twenties but looked twenty years older. She wore stained housedresses and Holly Hobbie bonnets, her hair in thick, flower-child braid pigtails. It was just the two of them.

How did Nick’s father die?

He died trying to build that house. Apparently he was working on it one day and fell. There’s a right way and a wrong way to land. Apparently he landed in precisely the wrong way. This tragedy was pretty fresh when I first met Nick. I think I sat behind him the first day of class.

Did you two become friends immediately, or…?

Not really. Friendships are fickle at that age, or at least they were for me. Part of it I think is that I wasn’t ready for him yet. I hadn’t grown in the ways I needed to in order to really get to know him.

Star. What did she do exactly?

Odds and ends. She sometimes sold chicks and ducklings at the feed store. Split lumber. Janitorial stuff. Nothing too noteworthy or dignified. Poor Star. I think she tried to get jobs at restaurants as a waitress but she was always so wrecked-looking. I remember grown-ups talking in low voices about her fitness as a parent. They’d see Nick show up at school without shoes. I think they mostly lived off the insurance payout they got after Nick’s dad died. They kept living that same life up there in the woods in the shack with no electricity, an honest-to-god outhouse out back, the rain coming down hard turning everything to mud. Naturally everyone thought she was completely insane.

Did you ever go over to Nick’s house?

Sure, once we started playing together. This would be second grade. I rode my bike to school and one morning my chain blew out, so I had to walk it the last half mile. When some of the bigger kids saw me they laughed and made fun of me and I guess Nick heard about it. I parked my bike in the rack behind the gym thinking I’d have to have my mom come pick me up. But that afternoon I found that my bike had been fixed. Another kid told me he’d seen Nick messing with it at recess. The next day I confronted him about it, asked if he’d been the one who fixed the bike. He wouldn’t look me in the eyes, just sort of sank down into himself and stared at hopscotch markings. I finally got him to admit that he’d repaired it and I gave him a Superman trading card as thanks. He just pocketed it and ran away.

A while later I was assigned to be his reading buddy. We were supposed to read the same book and talk about it together in front of the class. We read some kind of science fiction story, I don’t remember what it was, but I remember he started to open up a bit. He didn’t get to see many movies, so I’d tell him the plots and highlights of the ones I’d seen. He didn’t have a TV or a telephone at home, which amazed me. Not having a phone, more than not having clothes, equaled abject poverty to me.

What about your family? Tell me about your parents.

[sighs] My folks were college professors. They jokingly referred to themselves as the Doctors Piper. My dad, Gordon, taught English, and my mom, Gail, taught Library Science. Her dad had owned a shipping company and died when she was in her twenties, leaving her a sizable inheritance. Our house was on the north end of the island with a view of Seattle, a hundred feet of beachfront all to ourselves, right up against a steep embankment. We had a boat. A dog. The house was full of books and had big bay windows looking out on Puget Sound. My younger sister and I spent a lot of time exploring the beach and the woods, making up stories and games, on our own for hours at a time. My mom bolted a big ship bell to the side of the house that she rang when it was time for dinner. We took lots of vacations, to Canada and the San Juans mostly, but a couple times to Costa Rica, the Caribbean, Hawaii. My parents had lots of friends, brilliant colleagues from the university. One thing I noticed right away was how being smart usually meant also having a unique sense of humor. We stayed up late watching Monty Python , eating homemade ice cream, or we’d drive out to Suquamish to see a movie at the drive-in. You could say my childhood was an embarrassment of riches. I had toys, sure, but never an obscene amount. Mostly we amused ourselves with our own minds, the last generation to really do so, in my opinion. Nothing scheduled, no overload of after-school activities, just constant conversations with our parents about anything and everything. Their interests were all over the map. At dinner we’d talk about politics, economics, art, sex, history, war, astronomy. You could throw any obscure topic at my mother and she’d tell you the three seminal works in that particular field, what the best editions were, and who published them. My dad liked to recite what he called his “Poem of the Week,” something he’d committed to memory. My parents and Nick’s mom were like two evolutionary branches from a common ancestor. My folks had grown outward, embracing the world, while Star had grown inward, into places the rest of us couldn’t fathom.

What do you mean by “places”?

Well let me back up. You can understand how our community considered her a pathetic creature, someone who’d started off weird, probably fried her mind on acid then suffered the horrible loss of her husband. You could be forgiven for making that kind of judgment. That’s how I felt about her when Nick started inviting me to his house. I kept on making up excuses as to why I couldn’t go, then finally one day I came home from school and my mother told me I’d received a birthday party invitation in the mail. That Nick had wrangled up enough money for a card, envelope, and stamp was a small miracle. I tried to get out of it but my mom was adamant that I attend. So I bought him a Star Wars pop-up book and one spring afternoon my mother drove me to his house, bottoming out the Saab on that hellish driveway. She must have known about Star’s reputation but she was an open-minded, Marxist liberal intent on exposing me to different social strata. Even so, I think she was a little shocked by the condition of their house. There was all this crap surrounding the shack, rusted and moldy junk that looked puked out of a garbage truck. I got out of the car wearing my ridiculous khaki slacks and polo shirt, the wrapped present under my arm, and walked up the muddy path to their front door. Star greeted us there, with Nick standing behind her. She reached out and took my mother’s hand and said some things that made me want to cry. She said, “Thank you so much, Mrs. Piper. Luke is the only kid at school who is nice to Nick. It means so much to us that you came.” She invited us in and we ducked into this little space almost entirely devoid of anything you could call a creature comfort. Table, two chairs, two beds in an adjoining room. Outside the shack was a disaster but inside was clean and well-kept. And it smelled nice, too, like incense. We sat on pillows in what would have been the living room but it could very well have been considered the dining room. Star served tea, and cake made from scratch. It was a chocolate cake with frosting, all made to look like E.T. The movie alien, remember? It took me a minute to realize this was the party. Star was relaxed and comfortable in her own house and made pleasant conversation with my mom. Questions like, “I understand you teach librarians?” It struck me that Nick had gleaned all these little pieces of information from me and formulated a comprehensive portrait of who my family was. Now, hearing about all the things Nick and I had talked about, I could tell that he admired me. His admiration didn’t ever come out when it was just the two of us together, but hearing his mom talk about what he’d told her about me confirmed our friendship. When we finished the cake, Nick opened the present. I’d never seen such gratitude. It was as though I was witnessing the first act of altruism in human history, a pivotal moment in the development of the species. Nick’s mother actually got teary-eyed. Nick was beside himself with happiness. We played with that pop-up book for over an hour, acting out scenes from the movies I’d seen a half dozen times and Nick hadn’t seen at all. Nick added little addendums and characters, which at first bugged me because I wanted to stay true to the original version but then I kind of gave up and went with it. I remember his favorite character was Chewbacca, he kept wanting to be Chewbacca, while I, of course, was Luke, when really I should have been Han Solo. Anyway, while our moms talked we took our game outside, into the woods, and it was then that I noticed there was another building on the property. A small shed. I think maybe I tried to take a look inside but Nick stopped me, real serious, and told me it was off-limits. After a while our moms came outside, standing there chatting like they’d been friends forever, and it was time to go. No birthday party I ever attended ever matched what I felt that day.