J. Ballard: The Complete Short Stories

There were muttered consultations, and a second voice came through.

‘Who’s that speaking?’

‘Mr H.R. Bartley, 129b Sutton Court Road, N.W.—’

Before I could finish I found myself back in the lounge.

The jump-back had caught me. But instead of being stretched out on the sofa I was standing up, leaning on one elbow against the mantelpiece, looking down at the newspaper.

My eyes were focused clearly on the crossword puzzle, and before I pulled them away and started thinking over my call to the studio I noticed something that nearly dropped me into the grate.

17 down had been filled in.

I picked up the paper and showed it to Helen.

‘Did you do this clue? 17 down?’

‘No,’ she said. ‘I never even look at the crossword.’

The clock on the mantelpiece caught my eye, and I forgot about the studio and playing tricks with other people’s time.

9.03.

The merry-go-round was closing in. I thought the jump-back had come sooner than I expected. At least two minutes earlier, somewhere around 9.13.

And not only was the repetition interval getting shorter, but as the arc edged inwards on itself it was uncovering the real time stream running below it, the stream in which the other I, unknown to myself here, had solved the clue, stood up, walked over to the mantelpiece and filled in 17 down.

I sat down on the sofa, watching the clock carefully.

For the first time that evening Helen was thumbing over the pages of a magazine. The work basket was tucked away on the bottom shelf of the bookcase.

‘Do you want this on any longer?’ she asked me. ‘It’s not very good.’

I turned to the panel game. The three professors and the chorus girl were still playing around with their pot.

On Channel 1 the pundit was sitting at the table with his models.

‘…alarm. The billows have mass, and I think we can expect a lot of strange optical effects as the light—’ I switched it off.

The next jump-back came at 9.11. Somewhere I’d left the mantelpiece, gone back to the sofa and lit a cigarette.

It was 9.04. Helen had opened the verandah windows and was looking out into the street.

The set was on again so I pulled the plug out at the main. I threw the cigarette into the fire; not having seen myself light it, made it taste like someone else’s.

‘Harry, like to go out for a stroll?’ Helen suggested. ‘It’ll be rather nice in the park.’

Each successive jump-back gave us a new departure point. If now I bundled her outside and got her down to the end of the road, at the next jump we’d both be back in the lounge again, but probably have decided to drive to the pub instead.

‘Harry?’

‘What, sorry?’

‘Are you asleep, angel? Like to go for a walk? It’ll wake you up.’

‘All right,’ I said. ‘Go and get your coat.’

‘Will you be warm enough like that?’

She went off into the bedroom.

I walked round the lounge and convinced myself that I was awake. The shadows, the solid feel of the chairs, the definition was much too fine for a dream.

It was 9.08. Normally Helen would take ten minutes to put on her coat.

The jump-back came almost immediately.

It was 9.06.

I was still on the sofa and Helen was bending down and picking up her work basket.

This time, at last, the set was off.

‘Have you got any money on you?’ Helen asked.

I felt in my pocket automatically. ‘Yes. How much do you want?’

Helen looked at me. ‘Well, what do you usually pay for the drinks? We’ll only have a couple.’

‘We’re going to the pub, are we?’

‘Darling, are you all right?’ She came over to me. ‘You look all strangled. Is that shirt too tight?’

‘Helen,’ I said, getting up. ‘I’ve got to try to explain something to you. I don’t know why it’s happening, it’s something to do with these billows of gas the sun’s releasing.’

Helen was watching me with her mouth open.

‘Harry,’ she started to say nervously. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘I’m quite all right,’ I assured her. ‘It’s just that everything is happening very rapidly and I don’t think there’s much time left.’

I kept on glancing at the clock and Helen followed my eyes to it and went over to the mantelpiece. Watching me she moved it round and I heard the pendulum jangle. — ‘No, no,’ I shouted. I grabbed it and pushed it back against the wall.

We jumped back to 9.07.

Helen was in the bedroom. I had exactly a minute left.

‘Harry,’ she called. ‘Darling, do you want to, or don’t you?’

I was by the lounge window, muttering something.

I was out of touch with what my real self was doing in the normal time channel. The Helen talking to me now was a phantom.

It was I, not Helen and everybody else, who was riding the merrygo-round.

Jump.

9.07–15.

Helen was standing in the doorway.

‘…down to the… the…’ I was saying.

Helen watched me, frozen. A fraction of a minute left.

I started to walk over to her. to walk over to her ver to her er I came out of it like a man catapulted from a revolving door. I was stretched out flat on the sofa, a hard aching pain running from the top of my head down past my right ear into my neck.

I looked at the time. 9.45. I could hear Helen moving around in the dining room. I lay there, steadying the room round me, and in a few minutes she came in carrying a tray and a couple of glasses.

‘How do you feel?’ she asked, making up an alka-seltzer.

I let it fizzle down and drank it.

‘What happened?’ I asked. ‘Did I collapse?’

‘Not exactly. You were watching the play. I thought you looked rather seedy so I suggested we go out for a drink. You went into a sort of convulsion.’

I stood up slowly and rubbed my neck. ‘God, I didn’t dream all that! I couldn’t have done.’

‘What was it about?’

‘A sort of crazy merry-go-round — ‘The pain grabbed at my neck when I spoke. I went over to the set and switched it on. ‘Hard to explain coherently. Time was — ‘ I flinched as the pain bit in again.

‘Sit down and rest,’ Helen said. ‘I’ll come and join you. Like a drink?’

‘Thanks. A big scotch.’

I looked at the set. On Channel 1 there was a breakdown sign, a cabaret on 2, a flood-lit stadium on 5, and a variety show on 9. No sign anywhere of either Diller’s play or the panel game.

Helen brought the drink in and sat down on the sofa with me.

‘It started off when we were watching the play,’ I explained, massaging my neck.

‘Sh, don’t bother now. Just relax.’

I put my head on Helen’s shoulder and looked up at the ceiling, listening to the sound coming from the variety show. I thought back through each turn of the round-about, wondering whether I could have dreamt it all.

Ten minutes later Helen said, ‘Well, I didn’t think much of that. And they’re doing an encore. Good heavens.’

‘Who are?’ I asked. I watched the light from the screen flicker across her face.

‘That team of acrobats. The something Brothers. One of them even slipped. How do you feel?’

‘Fine.’ I turned my head round and looked at the screen.

Three or four acrobats with huge v-torsos and skin briefs were doing simple handstands on to each other’s arms. They finished the act and went into a more involved routine, throwing around a girl in leopard skin panties. The applause was deafening. I thought they were moderately good.

Two of them began to give what seemed to be a demonstration of dynamic tension, straining against each other like a pair of catatonic bulls, their necks and legs locked, until one of them was levered slowly off the ground.