Sarah Zettel: Reclamation

But she couldn’t hear. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t sort out any of the burning, blazing, stench that poured through her.

As fast as it began, it was gone. She was back in her own body with nothing but her own senses and the world immediately outside them. Arms cradled her.

Eric? she thought with a kind of instinctual need. She peeled open her eyes. Jay’s face leaned over her, blocking out the ceiling.

“You fell.” He blurted the words out. “What happened?”

The abrupt question brought old, comfortable anger to her. “This despised one is fine, thank you for asking, my lord.” Aria gripped the edge of the bank and pulled herself out of his arms. The shock was fading rapidly. She actually felt surprisingly well, except for the raw sensation in her heart left from the strange, strong pleading that she’d felt, more than heard.

She picked herself up off the floor and eyed the arias in their sockets.

“Perhaps,” she murmured, more to herself than to Jay, “the problem is that these are not my stones.”

Aria undid her pouch and drew out one of her namestones. She dropped it into an empty socket. It landed with a sharp click. She leaned her palm against it and closed her eyes.

For a long moment, she did nothing but stand there looking intently at the insides of her eyelids and feeling mildly foolish.

Then, something stirred. Her heart began to beat lightly, quickly. Something shifted. She could taste iron in her mouth and feel the air tingling in her lungs. The floor pushed heavily against the bottoms of her boots, just like the stone pushed against her palm. Her awareness stretched down to the floor and out to the stone. She met no resistance. She passed through the pressure and expanded, spreading herself out through the floor until she found the walls. She arched up to meet herself where she filled the control console. She wrapped herself solidly around the room as if she was embracing one of her children.

Aria opened her eyes. She saw her hand on the stone, but the awareness of it was superimposed over the sight of the rest of the room, all of it, seen from all angles. She looked up from the floor and down from the ceiling and out from all the walls. She felt the disturbances Jay’s breath made in the air and the heat from his body, and her own. She felt the gentle pressure where feet stood. She felt portions of the room stir, as she might feel her heart beat, or her lungs breathe.

Past all this lay another great space. She knew that, and she knew it was at the same time far beyond her and immediately within reach, and…Aria leaned toward it.

There was someone else out there. She could hear them crying in that distant vastness.

Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go!

Aria gathered herself together and willed herself to look toward the plea.

It was like looking out the view wall toward the stars. Aria felt the old vertigo rock her mind.

Over here, over here, over here! cried the other voice.

Aria knotted her resolve and looked harder. The stars here were connected with strands of scarlet light, into a vast web that was even bigger than her new, expanded perspective. Yet some part of her knew that if she reached, if she stretched, she could encompass all this as well, see it from every side as she saw the room. The vacuum was darkness without form. This darkness would have form, if she shaped it.

The idea delighted her. She reached toward the web, spreading herself wide to surround it.

Welcome! Oh welcome home!

Light suffused her, as if all her pores had become eyes. Joy came with it, riding on the pulses of light that fed into her.

“Who are you?” Distantly, she felt her mouth move. The question took a long time to travel through her awareness to where the light touched her.

I am the Mind. I have waited very patiently for you to come back to me. You will see. I have been very careful with myself. I am all in readiness.

“I have never been here before,” she said, hoping it understood her tone to be gentle.

Not you yourself, but the Eyes were here even before I was. They had to come back. I have waited for you to come back. It has been so hard to be blind and alone.

Sorrow washed through her, and bereavement. “Can you see now?” Aria asked gently.

Yes! Yes! I can see everything you see. Will you not look farther? Again, the pathetic eagerness. The voice belonged to a child that wanted to show how clever it could be.

“I’m not sure I know how to look farther,” she told the Mind. “You must think me very stupid.”

You do not need to know. That is what I am for. You only need to see. This is how.

And Aria knew. She knew, had always known, would always know.

She looked, and she saw. She saw herself standing with Jay in the chamber. She looked at a different angle and she saw a cluster of Vitae stretching a clear film across a corridor threshold. At a different angle, their transports crawled over pulverized stone in the shadow of a broken wall. She looked at yet another angle and she saw…ruination.

Smoke, fire, and smoldering ashes arched up the sides of a crater. Lumps of stone and glass fused to her line of sight, making blurred patches in her vision.

“Nameless Powers!” she cried. “Nameless Powers preserve and forbid! What have they done!”

“Aria?” She didn’t look away from the smoldering crater, but she still clearly saw Jay reach out a hand toward her. “Aria, what’s happening? What has who done?”

Her shoulder shrugged impatiently. “I can’t see Aienai Aria! I can’t see Mother, or Eric. Where is Eric?”

Look here, and here.

Little Eye held Roof Beam’s hand as they struggled to keep up with Nail, half-clambering, half-wading through the marshes. At the same time, Eyes Above hunched in front of her hearthstone while Storm Water fed fresh charcoal into the flames. At the same time, Eric rattled past in the back of the sledge while Teacher Heart drove the team through a landscape obscured by foul black smoke. Both of them had headcloths wrapped so that their faces were shielded from drifting ash.

“Aria,” said Jay again. “Aria, can you hear me?”

“Yes,” she said. With a little effort, she separated a piece of herself to focus on her own body. “I’m all right. I’m…” A thought surfaced. “Can I show him what I’m seeing?”

Yes. That is part of what the Eyes are for.

And Aria knew how it could be done. She focused on the crater. The Mind took the sight and gave it to one of the shadows behind the chamber wall. Aria watched the chamber and she watched the shadow’s image paint itself behind the smooth wall. It formed itself from a film of the liquid held in the tubes. She looked at the smoking crater, and looked at the image of the crater on the wall and looked at Jay looking at it.

“Where is this?” asked Jay hoarsely.

“Narroways,” said Aria, even though she hadn’t known a moment ago. “The Vitae dropped a…” The words surfaced, from the stones or the Mind or her own memory, she didn’t know. It didn’t matter. “An incendiary device. A clean bomb.”

Jay laid his hand on top of the image. Aria saw the lines of his palm, the prints of his fingertips and the flat white blobs where his skin pressed against the wall. “What you create you may some day be forced to destroy,” he said, but he didn’t speak Standard. Her ear heard gibberish, but the Mind did not. The Mind knew and so Aria knew, had known, always would know.

“But how?” she whispered.

There are others here who speak that way. I have been listening. I have neglected nothing. Aria saw a quartet of Vitae faces, leaning far too close to her. These are they.