Isaac Asimov - The Mammoth Book of Golden Age SF

“Wooden blocks are dangerously hard,” it told him gently “and wooden splinters can be harmful. But we manufacture plastic building blocks, which are quite safe. Do you wish a set of those?”

He stared at its dark, graceful face, speechless.

“We shall also have to remove the tools from your workshop,” it informed him softly. “Such tools are excessively dangerous, but we can supply you with equipment for shaping soft plastics.”

“Thanks,” he muttered uneasily. “No rush about that.”

He started to retreat, and the humanoid stopped him.

“Now that you have lost your business,” it urged, “we suggest that you formally accept our total service. Assignors have a preference, and we shall be able to complete your household staff, at once.”

“No rush about that, either,” he said grimly.

He escaped from the house — although he had to wait for it to open the back door for him — and climbed the stair to the garage apartment. Sledge let him in. He sank into the crippled kitchen chair, grateful for the cracked walls that didn’t shine and the door that a man could work.

“I couldn’t get the tools,” he reported despairingly, “and they are going to take them.”

By gray daylight, the old man looked bleak and pale. His raw-boned face was drawn, and the hollowed sockets deeply shadowed, as if he hadn’t slept. Underhill saw the tray of neglected food, still forgotten on the floor.

“I’ll go back with you.” The old man was worn and ill, yet his tortured eyes had a spark of undying purpose. “We must have the tools. I believe my immunity will protect us both.”

He found a battered traveling bag. Underhill went with him back down the steps, and across to the house. At the back door, he produced a tiny horseshoe of white palladium, and touched it to the metal oval. The door slid open promptly, and they went on through the kitchen to the basement stair.

A black little mechanical stood at the sank, washing dishes with never a splash or a clatter. Underhill glanced at it uneasily — he supposed this must be the one that had come upon him from the storage room, since the other should still be busy with Aurora’s hair.

Sledge’s dubious immunity seemed a very uncertain defense against its vast, remote intelligence. Underhill felt a tingling shudder. He hurried on, breathless and relieved, for it ignored them.

The basement corridor was dark. Sledge touched the tiny horse-shoe to another relay to light the walls. He opened the workshop door, and lit the walls inside.

The shop had been dismantled. Benches and cabinets were demolished. The old concrete walls had been covered with some sleek, luminous stuff. For one sick moment, Underhill thought that the tools were already gone. Then he found them, piled in a corner with the archery set that Aurora had bought the summer before — another item too dangerous for fragile and suicidal humanity — all ready for disposal.

They loaded the bag with the tiny lathe, the drill and vise, and a few smaller tools. Underhill took up the burden, and Sledge extinguished the wall light and closed the door. Still the humanoid was busy at the sink, and still it didn’t seem aware of them.

Sledge was suddenly blue and wheezing, and he had to stop to cough on the outside steps, but at last they got back to the little apartment, where the invaders were forbidden to intrude. Underhill mounted the lathe on the battered library table in the tiny front room, and went to work. Slowly, day by day, the director took form.

Sometimes Underhill’s doubts came back. Sometimes, when he watched the cyanotic color of Sledge’s haggard face and the wild trembling of his twisted, shrunken hands, he was afraid the old man’s mind might be as ill as his body, and his plan to stop the dark invaders, all foolish illusion.

Sometimes, when he studied that tiny machine on the kitchen table, the pivoted needle and the thick lead ball, the whole project seemed the sheerest folly. How could anything detonate the seas of a planet so far away that its very mother star was a telescopic object?

The humanoids, however, always cured his doubts.

It was always hard for Underhill to leave the shelter of the little apartment, because he didn’t feel at home in the bright new world the humanoids were building. He didn’t care for the shining splendor of his new bathroom, because he couldn’t work the taps — some suicidal human being might try to drown himself. He didn’t like the windows that only a mechanical could open — a man might accidentally fall, or suicidally jump — or even the majestic music room with the wonderful glittering radiophonograph that only a humanoid could play.

He began to share the old man’s desperate urgency, but Sledge warned him solemnly, “You mustn’t spend too much time with me. You mustn’t let them guess our work is so important. Better put on an act — you’re slowly getting to like them, and you’re just killing time, helping me.”

Underhill tried, but he was not an actor. He went dutifully home for his meals. He tried painfully to invent conversation — about anything else than detonating planets. He tried to seem enthusiastic, when Aurora took him to inspect some remarkable improvement to the house. He applauded Gay’s recitals, and went with Frank for hikes in the wonderful new parks.

And he saw what the humanoids did to his family. That was enough to renew his faith in Sledge’s integrator, and redouble his determination that the humanoids must be stopped.

Aurora, in the beginning, had bubbled with praise for the marvelous new mechanicals. They did the household drudgery, brought the food and planned the meals and washed the children’s necks. They turned her out in stunning gowns, and gave her plenty of time for cards.

Now, she had too much time.

She had really liked to cook — a few special dishes, at least, that were family favorites. But stoves were hot and knives were sharp. Kitchens were altogether too dangerous for careless and suicidal human beings.

Fine needlework had been her hobby, but the humanoids took away her needles. She had enjoyed driving the car, but that was no longer allowed. She turned for escape to a shelf of novels, but the humanoids took them all away, because they dealt with unhappy people in dangerous situations.

One afternoon, Underhill found her in tears.

“It’s too much,” she gasped bitterly. “I hate and loathe every naked one of them. They seemed so wonderful at first, but now they won’t even let me eat a bite of candy. Can’t we get rid of them dear? Ever”

A blind little mechanical was standing at his elbow, and he had to say they couldn’t.

“Our function is to serve all men, forever,” it assured them softly. “It was necessary for us to take your sweets, Mrs. Underhill, because the slightest degree of overweight reduces life-expectancy.”

Not even the children escaped that absolute solicitude. Frank was robbed of a whole arsenal of lethal instruments — football and boxing gloves, pocketknife, tops, slingshot, and skates. He didn’t like the harmless plastic toys, which replaced them. He tried to run away, but a humanoid recognized him on the road, and brought him back to school.

Gay had always dreamed of being a great musician. The new mechanicals had replaced her human teachers, since they came. Now, one evening when Underhill asked her to play, she announced quietly.

“Father, I’m not going to play the violin any more.”

“Why, darling?” He stared at her, shocked, and saw the bitter resolve on her face. “You’ve been doing so well — especially since the humanoids took over your lessons.”

“They’re the trouble, Father.” Her voice, for a child’s, sounded strangely tired and old. “They are too good. No matter how long and hard I try, I could never be as good as they are. It isn’t any use. Don’t you understand, Father?” Her voice quivered. “It just isn’t any use.”