Steven Campbell - Hard Luck Hank - Basketful of Crap

“Good point.”

At the office, Yimm’dus went in and I waited outside for the official word.

It was a long time coming and I browsed through my tele messages while I waited.

Finally I was given leave to enter as Yimm’dus took up his post outside the door.

Zadeck’s office was spacious and mirrored the contents of the outside rooms, though he couldn’t help having a desk, some chairs, scattered boxes, and other functional items.

Zadeck sat in a throne. Literally a throne. It looked foolish. Since it was situated behind his desk it made him look like the King of Clerks.

The man himself was thin and androgynous, with powder makeup, and a tight black dress suit. He looked at me with disdain.

There was also a woman in the room who I was much more concerned with. She was fairly short, attractive, and had long blonde hair. She stood directly across from the door instead of near Zadeck, who was far to my left. She wore a dress that covered all her body and any muscles she may or may not possess.

I stared at her the moment I came in. I couldn’t tell if it was the pale sister.

“So. Why have you come to my street, Hank?”

“Uh, so who’s this?” I asked pleasantly. “Hello,” I said to her.

The woman smiled and waved, but did not answer. Maybe her voice would signal her identity as well? But I wasn’t sure I would recognize if it was similar to the other sisters.

Zadeck kept talking about something or other but I ignored him. I was trying to prepare myself for fighting this pale sister. I had no weapons at all. If she simply wanted to run away I couldn’t dream of catching her.

While it wasn’t stated explicitly, I was fairly certain the pale sisters wanted their triplet returned intact and alive.

But I still wasn’t sure if this was her. Without the silver hair, and bikini, and pale skin, so much was different. Garm was right, anyone, with the right body tone, could resemble them.

Zadeck kept rambling self-importantly.

I walked over to the woman.

“What’s your name?” I asked, holding out my hand to shake.

“Clo,” she answered, the one syllable name not shedding tremendous light on her vocal patterns.

She took my hand in a girl handshake, just using the tips of two fingers.

I could hear Zadeck’s voice growing louder and more annoyed as no one paid him any attention. He was the kind of guy who needed to be the center of every room.

But I didn’t care about him. My interest was how I could identify this woman.

I thought for a moment.

Then I reached out my hands and basically felt her up. She was very thin, but bony. When I took hold of her arm, it was weak without any muscle tone at all.

This was not the pale sister.

She began screaming.

Yimm’dus opened the door, sticking his head in.

“Shoot him!” Zadeck yelled, pointing at me.

“Shoot Hank?” Yimm’dus questioned. “Why?”

“Because I said so! Shoot him!”

“Sorry,” I said, holding my hands in front of me as I turned to face Zadeck. “I was looking for someone. It was an honest mistake.”

The woman was still screaming.

“You! Do as you’re told!” Zadeck yelled.

Yimm’dus seemed torn, but he shrugged.

“Sorry, Hank.” He aimed his gun-purse and fired.

“Ow.” I said. “If I could ask you about your last girlfriend, Zadeck…”

The woman was screaming even more now that someone was shooting.

“Shoot him again!” Zadeck commanded.

“It’s not going to do anything,” Yimm’dus tried to explain.

But he fired anyway.

“Ow. I’ll leave in just a moment. Could you tell me where your last girlfriend might be?” I asked.

“Oh, you’ll see what happens when you leave this building!” Zadeck laughed.

Hmm. I hadn’t really thought about that. I walked over to Yimm’dus.

“Hey. Give me your gun,” I said.

“Hank,” he whispered desperately. “I can’t do that.”

I gave him a shove and he tried to take a step backwards, twisted his ankle, and fell down.

I walked over to him and took the gun.

“Sorry,” I said.

I was in Zadeck’s office with a gun. Zadeck no longer looked as confident and the woman was still screaming.

“You can stop that, miss. And sorry for grabbing you. Zadeck, come with me.”

He hesitated. I fired the gun and hit the wall next to him.

The woman, just to prove she was capable, screamed even louder.

“Sorry,” I said to her again. “ Now you can stop.”

Zadeck stepped from behind his desk and I saw he was wearing what must have been eight inch heels.

“Take those off,” I said, indicating his shoes. “Don’t you have any boots or flats?”

He walked carefully to the side of his office, keeping his eyes on me and the gun, and opened a closet. There must have been a hundred pairs of shoes inside.

“Pick something sensible for walking.”

Yimm’dus had gotten to his feet and was at a loss what to do.

Zadeck was changing shoes when I leaned out of the office to talk to Yimm’dus.

“He’s going to be pissed if you don’t sacrifice yourself trying to save him,” I whispered. “We can make a show of it if you like. Just be quick about it.”

“Thanks,” he whispered back.

“You won’t get away with this!” Yimm’dus yelled bombastically.

“Won’t I though?” I responded with equally bad acting.

Zadeck was watching and even the woman had stopped screeching.

“Zadeck doesn’t deserve your mistreatment. He is the best boss in the galaxy,” Yimm’dus said, brownnosing way too much.

He then punched me on the side of the face, hurting his hand.

“I’ll…” but I couldn’t think of any more dialogue, so I just made the motion of bringing the gun down on Yimm’dus’s skull.

But he dodged to the side.

“You’ll never get away with this!” He continued unnecessarily.

“Yes, Yimm’dus. I really need to get away now.”

I moved closer and grabbed hold of his shoulder with my left hand. I could see he was trying to resist and carry this play on further, but I outvoted him and easily pushed him to the ground.

I then hit him on the cranium with the gun.

“Ouch!” He complained, putting his hands up to protect himself.

I hit him again. Then again. Not incredibly hard, but it did draw blood.

“Enough,” Zadeck said, surprising both me and Yimm’dus. “I’ll come with you.”

I had a hold of Zadeck by the back of his jacket and shirt collar. I was holding him tight enough that a button popped and he had to loosen his tie.

We walked into the outer rooms, with Zadeck leading and me following, my gun resting on his right shoulder and facing towards his head.

In the main room, whether people saw us I couldn’t say, but no one reacted.

We came to the front door and I stopped.

“I need to talk to you for a bit and I don’t want to do it here. So we’re going to leave your street and find a nice place to chat. If anyone tries to stop us, or squish me, I will shoot you. So it is in your best interest to tell them to go away. I’ve survived Wallow multiple times, but I’m pretty positive you won’t survive being shot in the head point blank. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Zadeck said. He was far calmer than I would have expected. But I guess he had been a crime boss for some decades now.

“When we’re done talking, I’ll let you go,” I continued. “I just need some information.”

We pushed outside and the bouncers panicked.

I stayed close to Zadeck so they would be worried about shooting at me and hitting him. I wasn’t concerned about their guns, but Zadeck was.

“Hold your fire! Let us pass and do not follow,” Zadeck ordered.