Terry Bisson: The Fifth Element

As the Mangalore leader toppled and fell, Korben turned to the other confused and milling warriors:

“Anyone else want to negotiate?”

Fog was impressed. “Where’d he learn to negotiate like that?” he mused aloud.

The President, who had been monitoring the entire operation from his office, looked hard at General Munro.

“I wonder,” he also mused aloud.

Munro squirmed under the President’s glare and looked away.

While the police rounded up the remaining, stunned Mangalores, Korben went to the Central Security! control panel and searched the bank of view screens that showed every comer of Fhloston Paradise. Looking… looking… looking…

“You’re probably very angry with me,” said a voice at his side.

Korben turned and saw Father Cornelius. “I understand,” the priest went on. “But I want you to know I’m fighting for a noble cause.” “Yeah, I know, to save the world,” said Korben, still searching. “But all I want to do is find Leeloo.” Cornelius was alarmed. “Leeloo’s in trouble?” “When is she not in trouble ?” muttered Korben. “Hi, guys!!” said Loc Rhod, who was back. Skeeter-mike, bundle, and all.

Brrriinng!

Incoming.

The docking garage officer opened the door.

A ZFX200 settled into the dock.

It looked familiar.

“More trouble?” the officer asked the pilot.

“Nothing I can’t handle myself,” said Zorg. He raised his ZF1—

Bratbratbrat! Bratbratbrat!

Korben knew pursuit.

It was a science.

First Principle: Always return to the last place you saw your quarry.

He went back to the Diva’s ruined stateroom.

Loc Rhod and Cornelius tagged along.

The housekeeping and coroner ‘bots had cleared out the bodies, but the room was still a wreck, with a huge hole in the ceiling.

“Leeloo!” Korben yelled.

While Korben checked out the closets, the bath, the kitchenette, Loc Rhod studied the malevolent looking device stuck to the wall.

“Korben, man…” he asked. “What is this??”

Korben glanced at it. “A molecular bomb. A mini-nuke.”

“What are these numbers clicking by??” Loc Rhod asked.

3:01

3:00

2:59

“Probably the time remaining before it

explodes,” said Father Cornelius, as he helped Korben with the search for Leeloo.

Loc Rhod smiled; or tried to smile. “You guys are just saying that to scare me, right? There are bomb detectors in ail these hotels. If this was a bomb, the alarm would have gone off.”

At that exact moment, a siren sounded, followed by a loud robotic voice:

“THIS.IS.A.TYPE.A.ALERT! FOR.SECURITY. REASONS.THE.HOTEL.MUST.BE.EVACUATED.”

Father Cornelius and Korben continued their search.

Loc Rhod looked stunned.

In the hallways of the great ship, the reaction was more dramatic.

“TYPE.A.ALERT!PLEASE.PROCEED.CALMLY TO.THE.LIFEBOATS.LOCATED.IN.THE.MAIN HALLWAYS.”

Crowds stampeded toward the exits, trampling the fallen underfoot. Screams ripped through the air and shots rang out as the panicking masses surged through the corridors, looking for the lifeboats.

Panic!

Just as it seemed the situation could get much worse, Zorg emerged from the docking garage cradling his ZF1 at waist level and blasting every thing and everyone in sight.

Bratbratbratbrat! Bratbratbratbrat! Bratbratbratbrat!

Fog flattened himself against the wall and blew a whistle, then shouted as authoritatively as possible: “Please stay calm! We have the situation totally under control…”

His words were lost in the general melee.

1:59

1:58

Loc Rhod stood paralyzed as the display on the molecular mini-nuke counted down; He watched with the helpless fascination of a mouse watching the uncoiling cobra that is about to devour him.

“Like, D-Man!!” he said, “I hate to bother you…”

Korben came out of the bedroom, which he had just finished searching.

“…but we’re down to, like, two minutes here!!”

Korben joined the DJ at the bomb.

1:43

1:42

“It’s the latest model,” Korben said, studying it. “I’ve never seen one before. Let’s see if I can disable I need a pin…”

Without taking his eyes off the bomb, he pulled hairpin from Loc Rhod’s elaborate “do.”

Only four feet above, Leeloo was looking down from the crawl space, through one of the holes Zorg had blasted in the ceiling.

She was too weak to make a sound, bleeding badly from a wound in her side that exactly matched the Diva’s.

She stuck her finger in the blood, then stuck her bloody finger through one of the holes in the ceiling.

It was right above Korben, who was trying to disarm the bomb with the hairpin.

The drop of blood spattered on his hand.

Korben looked up.

“Hey, what are you doing??” Loc Rhodf demanded. “The bomb!!”

Ignoring him, Korben dragged a desk directly under the hole. He jumped up on it, and stuck his head into the crawl space.

Leeloo rewarded him with a weak but tender smile.

“Don’t worry,” Korben said. “I’m here now!” He pulled her down from the shaft and laid her gently on the desk.

“Just relax,” he said, “We’ve got the Sacred Stones. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Loc Rhod wasn’t so sure.

The timer read

00:32

00:31

“Korben,” he said, “can I have, like, thirty onds of your time here??”

Korben ran his fingertips along Leeloo’s cheek. “I’ll be right back!”

He turned back to the bomb, and began probing it with the hairpin. Loc Rhod stood as still as a statue, studying the liquid crystal display:

00:22

00:21

Even the skeeter-mike at Loc Rhod’s mouth was motionless.

Korben felt something tickle the back of his neck. He turned and found himself staring; into the barrel of a ZF1.

At the other end of the formidable laser rifle was Zorg!

The demented billionaire smuggler pulled a plastic credit card with a magnetic strip from his shirt pocket.

“Do you mind?” he asked with a smile.

Loc Rhod and Korben both stared.

00:14

00:13

Zorg swiped the card through a slot oh the side of the bomb.

Bleeeeeep! The timer reset.

05:00

04:59

“Overtime!” said Zorg.

Loc Rhod fainted. The faithful skeeter-mike followed him to the floor.

Zorg ignored the unconscious DJ. He kept the gun trained on Korben.

“Well, what do we have here? Is this Korben Dallas? The famous winner of the Gemini Croquettes contest? Or is this Korben Dallas from Special Section sent by General Munro and President Lindberg himself?”

Korben looked concerned.

“You know, Mr. Zorg,” he said, “this kind ofl weapon is very dangerous. You can hurt somebody with this puppy.”

“Yes?” Zorg smiled. “Isn’t that the purpose of it?”

“Good thing it’s not loaded,” said Korben. “Oh really?” said Zorg, who had heard this old trick several times before.

“Really,” said Korben. “You see that yellow flashing light on the side? It tells you the safety is on.” “Nice try,” said Zorg {although he didn’t really mean it). “But you see, I built this weapon myself, and I know exactly how it works. The yellow light doesn’t mean the safety is on. It means the clip is…”

Ooops.

“…empty.”

“Good to know,” said Korben. He drew back his ham-sized fist.

Slowly.

Savoring the anticipation.

Zorg tried to fire: clickityclickityclick.

“A three-thousand round clip!” Zorg said. “Surely I didn’t fire three-thousand rounds!”

“You should learn to count,” said Korben. “It’s not all that hard. Watch, and I’ll show you.” CRUNCH! He punched Zorg in the face.