Andrew Morgan - Vessel

‘Goodbye, Sally.’

A jolt of surprise and excitement shot through her like electricity, and she span round as fast as she could to face the voice. It was Mikhail, and he looked younger than he had when he’d died. More like he did when he’d appeared in this very module, naked and confused. His boyish grin and tanned skin made him glow, but there was something else… something Sally couldn’t place. He seemed more than alive, he seemed — heavenly.

‘Mikhail!’ Sally squealed, and threw her arms around him. She savoured his reciprocal hug, his gentle touch filling her with a comfort that felt like home. They parted, even though Sally never wanted the embrace to end, because she wanted to see him again to make sure he was real.

‘Sally,’ Mikhail said. ‘I miss you.’

‘I miss you, too.’

‘And I’m so proud of you.’

Sally giggled. She couldn’t help herself. ‘Why?’

Mikhail’s grin became a radiant smile, loving and true. ‘Because I am. Because you’re the mother of change, the seed of hope for the future of the human race. If that isn’t enough reason to be proud, I don’t know what is.’

They embraced again, and this time Sally really didn’t want to let go. ‘I can’t do this by myself,’ she said into the folds of Mikhail’s neck. ‘I need you with me.’

‘I’ll always be with you,’ he said. His voice was so quiet, yet so close. It sounded almost like it was coming from inside her. ‘You’ll have my memory for as long as you live.’

Sally’s grip became firmer, more desperate. She was no longer holding him to greet him, she was clinging to him to stop him leaving. ‘But that’s not enough…’ she whispered.

‘You won’t be alone,’ Mikhail said. ‘You won’t ever have to be alone.’

They held each other in silence. Time still had no meaning, but for now, Sally didn’t mind. She wanted the moment to last forever. As they floated there, together, she dozed, comfortable and at peace. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she mumbled, half asleep.

‘Don’t worry,’ Mikhail said. He stroked her hair. ‘You’ll do just fine.’

When Sally woke up, it was as though she had awakened from hibernation, a long, deep sleep that had cleansed her body and her soul. As she blinked in the morning light, she was pleased to find that the nagging in her mind had gone. It had left a lucidity behind that was pin sharp and focussed, and for some reason, it made her happy. The radiance of the early morning sun warmed her body, pressing against her like the last lingering moments of Mikhail’s caress. You’ll do just fine , he’d said. She believed she would.

Although she felt much better, the doctor insisted she stay for a while to make sure everything was okay. It was the first documented example of conception in space, and they wanted to be certain that there had been no adverse affects. So far, so good, it seemed. The staff were understanding and compassionate, and she even had a visit from Aleks, who brought her a bunch of flowers and a card. He told her about Bales, who had set him up. He told her about Ruth Shaw and the first vessel, and she listened intently, feeling as though, somehow, she had heard the story before. But she couldn’t have, so she listened anyway. Then he told her about Gardner and Chris, which saddened her. They hadn’t made it.

The next day, she had another visitor, but this one she didn’t know.

‘Someone to see you, Sally,’ the nurse said, leaning around the door. ‘Says his name’s Sean.’

Sean? Aleks had mentioned a Sean. The same one perhaps? ‘Send him in.’

A young, scrawny guy with tatty clothes and a sling around his arm appeared in the doorway. He looked anxious, and he hovered there until Sally told him he could come in. Pulling up a chair, he sat down beside her, slicking his hair back in a most nervous way.

‘Hello, Sean,’ Sally said. She was curious about this man. There was a sense that she had met him before, even though she knew she hadn’t, because at once she felt safe with him there. ‘What can I do for you?’

Sean grinned the nervous grin of a job interviewee. ‘Thanks for seeing me,’ he said, ‘and congratulations by the way.’

Sally stroked her abdomen. It was almost becoming habit. ‘Thank you.’

‘I suppose you’re wondering why I’m here…’

‘Aleks told me about you. He said you saved my life.’

Sean looked down. ‘I don’t know about that,’ he said. ‘I didn’t do much.’

‘You’re being modest.’

‘Yeah, well… maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know. Anyway, I’m here because —’ he faltered, stuck on a word, ‘— because I want to ask you something. I suppose you know that I’m a journalist, but I’m here on personal business. Not a press badge in sight.’

Sally gave him a polite smile, encouraging him to continue.

‘What I want to say is that, I — I want to help you. With the baby. That sounds weird, I know, but I’ve been following your story for what feels like a lifetime, and although we’ve never met, I feel like I know you. I know what you’re going through, and I want to be there to help you through it.’

If Sean had looked nervous before, he looked terrified now. Whether he knew it or not, he was gripping his chair tight. Sally could see from his face that his intentions were pure. Mikhail’s voice echoed in her head: You won’t ever have to be alone.

‘That’s very sweet,’ she said. ‘I’d like that.’

Sean grinned, looking relieved. ‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘I promise I won’t be any bother. It’s just — you’ll think this sounds silly — I had a dream the other night where I met this guy…’

He flushed red. ‘Well, the details aren’t important, but what I’m trying to say is that I feel this is the right thing to do. And I want to do it, too.’

Sally knew at once who he’d dreamed about. She and Sean talked for the rest of the day, their conversation wandering aimlessly, but staying strong. She was glad she had visitor privileges, because she found Sean fascinating, and he seemed to think the same about her, too. There were a lot of qualities in him that she had liked about Mikhail, and although the reminder of him made her sad, it cheered her to relive the joking and the laughter she’d shared with him. I’ll always be with you , Mikhail had said.

Sean left late in the night, when he had insisted Sally get some sleep. He was right — she needed the rest, even if she didn’t want it. Sean promised he’d be back first thing the next morning, and he was true to his word.

‘What do you think he’s going to be like?’ he said, picking at the bowl of grapes by Sally’s bed.

‘Who?’ Sally said.

‘The baby. Who else?’

‘Who said it’s going to be a he?’

Sean shrugged, and popped another grape into his mouth. ‘I dunno. It just seems… right.’

Sally didn’t argue, because she agreed with him. She couldn’t quite remember, but she was sure Mikhail had referred to the baby as he , too. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘As long as he’s healthy, I guess I’m happy.’

‘But you must wonder what all this means? What he’s going to be capable of? What he’s going to do?’

‘I suppose. But there’s no point guessing for now. I’ll just take it as it comes, with an open mind. Best to wait and see rather than fill my head so full of thoughts I miss it when it happens.’

Sean gave her a look that made her blush, something like admiration. ‘You’re a wise women, Sally Fisher,’ he said.

Two days later, and the doctor deemed Sally well enough to leave. The thought of entering the wide world again filled her with trepidation, but not because she was scared of it, not quite — she was scared of normality, of sinking back into the routine that had left her cold and alone for so much of her life. The hospital had been something of a sanctuary, a purgatory that blurred the line between life up there and life down here. She stroked her abdomen, which made her smile. She had nothing to be afraid of, not anymore.