Edward Crichton - To Crown a Caesar

The haze around my eyes flashed in one last blaze of resistance, and I waited, alone, for my final journey to commence. I could see the light coming, bright as I always thought it would be, but oddly colored blue instead of…

Tripolis, Syria

October 42 A.D.

I had to be dead, because it was the only explanation for how I felt:

Fantastic.

Just like new, in fact. Not even a hallucination to speak of. That part was refreshing. No fatigue, no soreness or numbness, aches… pain, just… nothing. No complaints. That had to be what heaven was like, right? A place where there was simply nothing to complain about. That sounded poetic.

I think I’m going to like it here. If only I could see something. Everything was still black.

And then I wondered where St. Peter was.

St. Peter?

Hello? Anybody home?

Anybody…?

What the fuck?

I caught myself sheepishly. It probably wasn’t a good idea to swear just before you meet The Big Guy.

I had to admit, this wasn’t exactly what I figured my final transition to the glorious afterlife would be like. I always thought there’d be little cherub like angels, clouds, pearly gates, or at least some topless women. But I didn’t see any of that. All I saw were the back of my eyelids and I felt very surprised at just how coherently I was able to process this new information and form coherent thoughts.

Wasn’t I dead just a second ago?

Maybe ol’ J.C. was testing me.

I risked a peek by opening my eyelids just slightly.

I almost vomited at what I saw.

No angels. No clouds. No gates. Not even any breasts.

Just…

Santino.

Of all the guides to the afterworld, I get Santino? I mean, Dante got fucking Virgil as a guide! Where was my ancient Roman poet? A Roman I could actually stand to be around right now.

There weren’t that many of those left…

“You all right, Jacob,” the Ghost of Christmas Santino said to me. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I am seeing a ghost,” I pointed out, surprised when the finger I jabbed at his chest touched something solid. I recoiled my hand like I’d just touched a hot stove, gripping it protectively against my chest with my other hand. “Because if you’re my guide to heaven, you must be dead too.”

He chuckled and glanced behind me. “Jacob, what the fuck are you babbling about?”

Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure. My eyesight had been pretty blurry when I’d first opened them, but now I could see that while the room was lit in an amber glow, it was still dark, not exactly the bright clouded area I assumed was heaven.

“Oh, my God.” I dropped my voice to a whisper and leaned in closer to Santino. “Am I in Hell?”

Santino’s eyes narrowed, and he put his hands on his hips. “You’re about to be if you don’t tell me why you’ve gone insane on me all of a sudden. You off your meds?”

Another voice behind me spoke up, saying, “What’s wrong, Santino?”

It was an angelic voice.

A feminine voice.

Helena’s voice.

I turned to see her standing there. Alive, healthy, and as beautiful as ever. I blinked. Nope. Still there, and no wings. Making my way to her in two long strides, I wrapped my arms around and kissed her as hard as I could. If God was in fact sending me to Hell, I was going to drag her with me. I didn’t care what she thought.

The ghost of Helena shoved me away, but she didn’t look mad.

“Jacob,” she whispered shyly, “what are you doing? We’re on a mission.”

A what? Is that what they called it here in… purgatory?

Was that where we were?

Helena’s ghost pointed to her right.

I looked at what she was pointing towards, hoping it wasn’t Satan. The room looked oddly familiar. It was large with numerous tiered levels that descended from where I stood. I also saw people and enough treasure to fill Ft. Knox. Wang and Vincent were there. As was Titus. Gaius and Marcus as well. Bordeaux!

I was in the goddamned treasure room.

The same damn room I’d stood in fifty minutes ago!

But how was that possible?

I looked at my hands.

I was holding the orb.

I looked towards the heavens, or at least just the ceiling, my eyes furrowed in confusion… thinking.

Déjà vu?

Had I gone back in time?

I had to have.

Wait, wait, wait.

If I’d gone back in time, where was the second orb? And why hadn’t the transition hurt like hell? And if the orb transported all matter within a room with it, where was all the rubble, dead Praetorians, and a horribly disfigured Agrippina? In fact, since I was transitioning back to a point in time where I already existed, shouldn’t there be two copies of me? And of all my friends too?

I looked at Helena and poked her cheek, definitely feeling resistance. She looked at me angrily and poked me back. I felt that too. Just in case, I gave her a little shove. She stumbled back a step. In response, she slugged me in the shoulder.

It hurt.

I met her eyes. “You’re alive?”

“Last time I checked, Jacob,” she said, looking at me like I belonged in the loony bin.

I smiled and leaned her back as I kissed her again, pulling away quickly and tossing the orb in her direction. She made a grab for it but bobbled it a few times before finally catching it awkwardly. I made my way to Bordeaux as she called after me.

He was setting the bomb he’d already set once upon a time. I nearly tackled him as I ran to where he was burying it beneath the treasure.

“Wait, you big, beautiful, beast of a Frenchman, you!”

He gave me a funny look. “I’m flattered, Hunter, but I’m married.”

I shook my head, still amazed at what was happening. I would have kissed him too if I’d had the time.

“Set it for thirty five minutes,” I ordered.

“I was going to set it for…”

“Just do it. Trust me.”

He shrugged reluctantly. “You’re the boss.”

He reset the timer and placed it beneath the treasure.

Everything made sense. Everything! I knew how the orb worked. I knew what it was intended to do. How it could take us home. And I knew what was about to happen. And how I could fix it.

I turned to see Titus once again analyzing the box, his hand poised to open it.

“What’s thi…”

I struggled to find my voice as I grinned like an idiot. “Wait, stop, don’t do tha…” I repeated for no one’s benefit but my own.

And there was the white burst. My eyes immediately went blank, but unlike last time, I laughed, groping about like a zombie. Then I waited for the sound of clinking armor running into the room. And there it was. Now, time for the…

I’ve been knocked unconscious quite a few times in my life. More than the average…

I squeezed my eyes tightly, the muscles in my face recoiling from the pain.

Really? Even my post black out monologues were the same? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised since the pain sure felt the same. Despite knowing what to expect, I still felt like shit as I slowly regained consciousness. I used the time while my body recovered to hash out the last of the details about the orb. I couldn’t believe how simple it was. Varus had been right. Our usage of the orb had been much too complicated. Far too random. Using it properly was in reality almost elegant, if not genius.

I couldn’t explain what had happened when I first touched the orb but Helena had noted a flash of blue light at the time. Something I hadn’t noticed. I’d been out of it, but she must have clearly seen the orb activating itself. How I activated it was something I still didn’t know, but I suspected I knew someone who did. I only hope he left a trail for us to follow when we got out of this.