D. Walker - The Snacking Dead

4 Spoon the batter into the prepared muffin pans, filling each cup just below the top. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until the muffins are lightly browned on top and a cake tester comes out clean.

For a special breakfast treat, these can be made the night before. But who knows if there will be a tomorrow? Hell with it, eat ’em now.

P am ran hard with Ronnieuntil the walker swarm was far behind them. But what were they running to ? They had no shelter. What would they eat? How would they cook?

Ronnie stopped dead and looked upward. Out of the morning mist, just behind a line of trees, loomed two crenellated towers. Between them was an open drawbridge with a portcullis.

Pam shook her head in disbelief. “This can’t be for real,” she said.

“It can be, and it is,” said a low voice.

Pam spun around. Behind them stood two men dressed in knights’ armor and helmets with visors. One held a rifle on her.

“What the hell is this place?” Pam demanded when their captor removed the blindfold.

They found themselves in a banquet hall right out of medieval times, its walls hung with axes and banners. Half a dozen people in modern dress were calmly setting a long table with pewter plates and mugs, as if for a sumptuous meal. There were armored guards at the door.

“The King will answer your questions,” said the man. He removed his armor and helmet to reveal a flannel work shirt and jeans. “For now, you two need to rest. All I can tell you is, you’re safe here. We keep the walkers outside, and we lead normal lives inside. At least, as normal as you can when you’re shut in a medieval theme restaurant.”

A tall, good-looking man strode into the room and whispered to the man who brought them in. He nodded twice and looked closely at Pam.

“Welcome to Canterbury Times,” he announced.

Ronnie glared at him as he held out a tray.

“Would my ladies care for a popper?”

makes 32 jalapeño poppers

16 large jalapeño peppers, halved lengthwise

8 ounces cream cheese (about 1 cup), at room temperature

4 ounces Jack or sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded (about 1 cup)

⅓ cup fresh or frozen corn kernels

¼ cup minced yellow onion

¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro

1½ teaspoons ground cumin

1 teaspoon chili powder

Pinch of cayenne

1 teaspoon salt

Nonstick spray

Lime wedges, for serving

1 Preheat the oven to 375°F.

2 Using a spoon, carve out the guts, veins, and seeds of the jalapeños. Rinse under cold water to loosen any remaining seeds and let dry hollow side down on paper towels.

3 Meanwhile, prepare the filling. In a small bowl, smash together the cream cheese, shredded cheese, corn, onion, cilantro, cumin, chili powder, cayenne, and salt until smooth.

4 Spray a large rimmed baking sheet with nonstick spray and distribute the jalapeño boats, hollow side up. Depending on the size of the pepper, fill each jalapeño with 1 to 1½ teaspoons of the cheese filling. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the peppers are tender and the cheese is bubbling and beginning to brown. Squeeze fresh lime juice over the top and serve hot.

Theme restaurants make good hideouts during crises, with their large interior spaces, elaborate food preparation facilities, and defensible facades. But you’re better off bringing your own food.

R onnie didn’t trust this place.It felt like a school play. It didn’t add up. And her mother was falling for it.

“‘King’?” she heard her mother ask. “They really call you that?”

“Some nicknames stick whether you want them to or not,” he said. “I was head chef. None of the others wanted to make hard decisions or even knew how to cook. I organized the watch, scouted propane for the ovens, and secured ingredients. These people look to me for leadership. If you prefer, you may call me Philippe.”

“So what’s with the armor?” Ronnie asked.

“It was made for shows at the restaurant, but walkers can’t bite through it. I mean, look around. Civilization’s been thrown back to the dark ages. Nothing out there but thugs, monsters, and awful food. In here, the men of the watch patrol the area. The mall behind the north door is overrun with walkers, but we haven’t had a single casualty inside the restaurant. We’ve got a vegetable garden on the roof, and we have livestock of sorts. We eat sustainably. We make the Middle Ages thing work for us.”

The inhabitants of Canterbury assembled around the large table. Servers brought out large trays of ham and biscuits with steaming coffee. It was more food than Pam and Ronnie had seen in ages.

“You see?” said the King, sitting back in his aluminum throne. “Life as it once was.”

Ronnie glowered. Her mother smiled stupidly.

Ronnie poked at the ham on her plate with her fork. She didn’t eat animal products, but she knew that this wasn’t ham.

The King added, “Hope you’ll stay for the show tonight.”

Ronnie made a gurgling sound deep in her throat.

serves 12

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened, plus more for greasing pan

1 cup sour cream

½ cup whole milk

2 cups self-rising flour, plus more for dusting

1 tablespoon sugar

6 ounces cooked country ham, or any cooked ham, or any protein you can get your hands on, finely chopped

Orange marmalade, for serving

1 Preheat the oven to 450°F. Lightly grease a baking sheet with butter or spray with cooking spray.

2 To make the biscuits, in a small bowl or measuring cup, stir together the sour cream and milk until smooth. In a large bowl, mix together the flour and sugar. Pour in the sour cream mixture and fold together until a soft dough forms. Turn the dough out on a surface that’s been lightly sprinkled with extra flour. Knead the dough until it just comes together.

3 Roll or pat the dough out until it’s about ¾ inch thick. Dip a 2-inch biscuit cutter in flour and cut out the biscuits, placing them at least 1 inch apart on the prepared baking sheet. Bake until golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes, and transfer to a wire rack to cool slightly.

4 While the biscuits are baking, make the ham filling. In a bowl, mix together the ham and butter until combined. Split the hot biscuits in half and spread one side thickly with ham butter and the other with a thin smear of the marmalade, then close them up to make sandwiches. Serve while they’re still warm.

Be wary of snacks offered by strangers. Trust is vital when sharing food in a world of dodgy food sources.