Anonymous - The altar of VVenus - The Making of a Victorian Rake

" She' s the chief' s wife."

More questioning of other employees evoked supplementary information. Our employer had married this girl about four years previously; she was titled by parentage and in her own rights.

My admiration, based on nothing more than one brief glimpse, grew to infatuation. Past loves faded into insignificance, and never did I more ardently long to possess a woman than I did this one. As my mind became more and more obsessed with the infatuation, my dislike for the man who was the rightful possessor of this gem of loveliness increase and for the first time in my life I felt the stinging lash of dominating, unrestrainable jealousy.

I learned that on some occasions she came to the office, and day by day I looked forward to another glimpse of her, with hungry anticipation. It was two months before the longing was gratified and I saw her again. She was, or so she seemed to me, even more lovely than I had first imagined and so rapt was I in the comtemplation that my attitude was observed by other employees and after she had gone I was forced to listen to many jibing witticisms.

During several succeeding weeks I ceaslessly dreamed and thought of this woman, not with expectation or hope, but with that blind adoration which finds its only solace in silent, unrequited worship. I had brief glimpses of her once or twice a month, and ultimately it seemed to me that as her glance momentarily met mine, there was an expression of understanding in it, as though she felt or divined my adoration.

I had been working for nearly a year when my employer summoned me to his office one afternoon.

" Gilbert, here is a little matter I want you to take care of. The wife' s private secretary is away on vacation, and until the girl returns, I have instructed her to send for you once a week to assist her with household accounts."

The electrical effect of this communication upon me may be easily imagined. At last! An opportunity to be near, if but a few moments, to the hitherto unapproachable Goddess of my dreams. I could scarcely conceal my elation as I assured him it would be delightful to be of service to his wife. But how delightful he certainly did not suspect.

It must not be supposed that I wsa beguiling myself with any fantastic hopes. No; for once, and despite the success with which most of my previous amorous campaigns had been waged, I wsa infatuated with a woman I considered far beyond my reach. To me she was little less than a deity; the possibility that she might descend into my sphere of life and being was not entertained even in my wildest dreams. The lines of caste are well defined in England. She was the essence of aristocracy; I was a plebian, completely outside her world. I expected nothing.

Six days later a message was laid on my desk requesting me to report at the house.

A taxi conveyed me through the city' s most exclusive residential section, along flower bordered streets under leafy bowers of foliage, and I shortly had my first glimpse of my employer' s residence. It was a veritable castle of stone architecture, almost concealed under climbing ivy, beautiful vines and trees.

In answer to the clang of a heavy brass knocker, appeared a trim, luscious little maid gowned in a short black dress, over which a white lace edged apron was neatly draped. Her plump legs were admirably displayed in glistening silk and these, together with other obvious charms would have captured my heart in a minute, if it had not been otherwise occupied to fullest capacity.

Upon being informed of my identity, she ushered me into a reception hall, and while I gazed with admiration at the tasteful splendor, she went to notify her mistress of my presence.

On the interview which followed I shall dwell but briefly for intoxicatingly pleasurable as it was to me nothing transpired which fits well into this naughty biography in the intimacy of the small study to which my employer' s wife conducted me, she seemed more delectable and desirable than ever, and it was with the greatest delight I found that my presence would be needed once a week during the absence of the secretary. The work was nothing more arduous than the figuring of domestic accounts, the writing and recording of checks issued in payment to merchants, and represented less that two hours of time. At its conclusion, she called the maid requesting that I be served with refreshments, and shortly thereafter I departed. During the interval we had been together her attitude toward me had been friendly, but entirely impersonal.

Four successive visits transpired, during which I feasted my eyes and tortured my soul with more or less surreptitious contemplations of her charms. On the fifth, last, and epochal occasion of our meetings, I was conducted into the little private study as previously and was soon engaged in putting the domestic accounts in order. It was to be my last visit, for the absent secretary was returning in a few days, and there would be no further occasion for my presence. The object of my idolatry entered the room and, seating herself in a huge leather cushioned chair near me, began to look over the tradesmen' s bills, initialing them one by one, and handing them to me to be recorded for payment.

Glinting under the rays of sunlight which filtered into the room through the interstices of lace curtains, golden ringlets of hair, tied with a single ribbon at the base of her neck, rippled down over shoulders and back in riotous profusion. Draped loosely abut her body was a velvet dressing gown or lounging robe of black velvet, trimmed with a fringe of pure white ermine down the front and around the hem, sleeves, and neck. This strikingly beautiful garment was not buttoned, but was sustained with a silken girdle carelessly knotted about her waist. In a sitting posture the lower edge of this robe hung just below her knees, and her legs visible from the knees down, were clad in the sheerest of silken host through whose translucent weave, the snowy whiteness of flesh beneath wsa discernible.

The combination of circumstances that day seemed to have been arranged painstakingly by Destiny. Or did the lady herself have a hand in the arranging?

The intimate garment, her closer than usual proximity, the casual touch of a strand of hair light as thistledown against my cheek as she leaned over me to make an observation about an entry in the small ledger, all contributed to provoke in me a veritable torment. The room was scented by some perfumed essence emanating from her hair, body and garment, the air was vibrant with an undefined but palpable atmosphere of eroticism.

The chair in which she wsa sitting wsa one of those heavily padded, amply built affairs with an inclined back. A slight frown passed across her face as she glanced over a bill from an establishment which supplied most of her wearing apparel. I paused, waiting for her to conclude her examination of the account and as I waited, my eyes fixed on her, she changed her position slightly raising one of the silk clad legs across the knee of its companion.

In the position in which she was sitting, she was not fronting me directly but rather to one side. The movement she made in crossing her legs caused the folds of the lounging robe, loosely tied, to separate slightly and bulge outward above the cord around her waist. And through the aperture so fortuitously provided, immediately became visible an exquisitely rounded breast of alabaster whiteness, crowned with a tiny rosebud nipple.

Seemingly she wore no undergarment beneath the fur trimmed robe! And as though this entrancing sight were not enough to suffocate me with emotion, the raising of her leg had also elevated the border of the garment, and above the purple silk band which supported her hose, a brief space of naked thigh was visible. Those bits of white flesh held my gaze like magnets, and with my eyes first on one then on the other, oblivious to everything else in the world, I continued to look, and as I looked a thought involuntarily formulated itself in my head.