Tor Kung: My Mother Taught Me

I stared into the darkness towards her and began to cry.

“Oh, please, Gunilla, I'll change-I'll change,” I pleaded. “Please don't tell-I promise I'll change. I'll…”

A low, throaty laugh came from the dark. Her voice began again, softer and husky. “Please don't, Lars. Please don't change. Can you realize what it is to a house full of women without men to have you around all at once? Someone who is interested in them? You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to us! Imagine it! On this estate all the time, miles from any town, and only women to talk to! To be with! Father doesn't count because he is away all the time. Now, at last, YOU! And you're wonderful! You're completely perverted. You really want to go! You are all over the place from the moment you step into the house! Marvelous! Of course you don't know anything, but you are eager to learn. And I'm a great teacher!”

She seemed to sense my disbelief and continued reassuringly. “Yes, I mean it! I'll help you. I'll teach you everything I know and help you learn from the others what they know and I don't. I'll give you everything. Everything. Everything you want!” Her voice rose and there was a strange, new hunger in it as she continued: “Let me explain. You have to understand. You see-you have-you have something in you… something other people don't… something I've been looking for for a long time and never seen. You see… but I keep forgetting, you know nothing of the world… but I'll tell you anyway- just take me on faith-you see, people everywhere-everyone I meet and everyone I read about-has something wrong with them that prevents then- being alive. And they never get a chance to find out because their lives are all caught up in the whirl and they can't even begin properly. But we, out here alone with these women-no one to bother us and nothing else to distract us-you and I who have this particular focus -the capability to have it-we can discover together what it is all about. The final thing-what that is about!” Her voice was charged with more and more excitement: this I could tell although most of what she said was beyond me and seemed meaningless. “I have been thinking about this and wondering and yearning, but I had no one to share it with and explore. Now I have you, and I will give you everything! I will give you whatever you want. All of me. All. A sixteen-year-old girl to supply every one of your fantasies. And I will help you to have the others. 111 help you watch Mother undress and play with herself. And you can watch her through the keyhole into the bath I share with her. Every day. Every night… I'll fix it so you can watch Father take her when he is home. Mother is a great adventure. I'll tell you about her… she is very much alive, but terribly shy and frustrated. She has all the right instincts, but doesn't know what to do with them. She's wild and indecent, but she needs a little help to get started. Why when I was a child she used to… but I'll tell you about that some other time. Anyway, she will be fine once she gets into it. I'll give her to you, Lars. You'll have your lovely sweet mother moaning and begging under you. And Louise. I'll help you get her. She will be tougher, since she's so innocent. But we shall have her! Yes. Yes.” Her voice rising with excitement, constantly. “We shall have her, too. Yes. Little Louise will be your toy. She will do all the fine perverted things you have hidden in you that you don't even know about yet. And Annie. She will be your slave. She is a slave. All you have to do is stare at her and talk dirty and she becomes a nymphomaniac. She can't help it. Then you can use her any way you want. You can beat her if you want. Or take pictures of her. Or make her crawl after you. Lars, I will give you the whole All Baba treasure cave of flesh-of woman. You can even have Father as a servant if you want. Anything, Lars. Anything!” She paused. “But I guess this is a bit beyond you, isn't it, Lars?” She seemed to take my incredulous silence as an affirmative. “But never mind… we'll get to all that-I guess I have to really start from scratch with you. Yes.” And then after a pause: “But it is worth it, worth anything and besides, come to think of it, it will be great fun… great fun teaching you from the beginning!”

There was a long pause. Then I felt her sit down on the bed. I must have jumped in surprise for there was a low giggle, followed by a new, calm, teasing tone: “Don't be afraid. I just thought I'd pay you a little visit. After all, if we are going to be brother and sister, and especially if we are going to investigate together all the things we've been talking about together, we do have to get to know each other.”

I didn't know what to say. In all this time I had had no idea what to say or do nor how to react. I lay without moving waiting to see what would happen, my heart racing. She went on, her tone changing more and more to an easy banter.

“Mother said that you had never even seen a girl before today.” She paused. I knew she expected an answer. I was petrified but somehow managed stuttering:

“I-I guess I am rather strange!”

She giggled again.

“I guess you are-boy! After supper I managed to ask Father what Mother had meant. Is it true what they say? That you never saw a girl, or her body, or anything?”

“Well I…”

“Come on, Lars, you can tell me. I'm your sister now, you know! I just mean is it true about your never seeing women or anything?”

“Yes, it's true-never before Mother yesterday, and then the ones we saw travelling, and then you tonight.”

“Jesus! Boy, that's really fantastic! And you never touched, or felt a girl or anything?”

“No, no, never. Never saw nor was around any-except the old matrons at the orphanage in England.”

“Wow! And boy, did you look me over! No wonder, you poor kid! But, wow!” and she started giggling again, but with what seemed a new excitement. “Never even saw a girl. Just never having been kissed would be great, but never to have even SEEN a girl!” And then suddenly: “Here, give me your hand!” She reached for me, touching my body in a way that embarrassed me in her search, so I took my hand, which had been under the sheet, out and held it toward her. It touched the softest thing I had ever felt: the filmy sheer blouse she was wearing, and I felt underneath a strange sensation of flesh that gave to the touch.

But before I could register it, she had taken my hand and was softly stroking it on the palm, and running her fingers gently along the inside of my arm in a way that made me gasp.

“Would you like to know about what a girl is like, Lars?”

“Well-do you mean?” I hesitated. “Well, sure, I would. But I guess I will gradually get to know girls being here with you and Louise.”

“No, I mean what girls are really like. The way they are different than boys-you know, underneath?”

“Well, uh.” I didn't know just what she meant, and I didn't know what to say. I was terribly embarrassed.

“You wanted to see inside my blouse when I served you coffee.” She giggled again. “What were you looking for?”

I just gasped, flushed red in the dark, and couldn't speak.

“It was so great, Lars. All of a sudden I realized you wanted coffee so you could look down in my blouse! Wow. And when I saw the way you looked, I started to get wet. In fact, I got so sopping wet that I was afraid it would run down my leg. And that last time, when I opened the new button, I thought you were going to nuzzle your head right in when I bent down. As it was, I almost spilled them out in your face. Oh, how much I wanted to. I wanted so much to reach in and lift them out and work them into the gaping mouth of my new little brother. I might do just that, Lars. Would you like that? Just think, a few hours ago, you were having a heart attack just to see a little in my blouse, and now I'm going to let you suck them.”