Ron Bywood - Beast humping

"Am I a lesbian or what? I don't really know what I want any more. I thought it would be a big relief with my husband gone but now I find that I miss him somehow – miss what he could do for me, if you know what I mean. Even though I could hardly stand it when he did, that last year or so. He bugged me so – always expecting his pleasure right on schedule, night after night. Insisting on his 'marital rights'. What I need is a nice docile man who's available and ready to go when I want him but never bugs me otherwise – just up and disappears when I don't want him around any more. Maybe I should hire a gigolo just for one hour or so a week to come in and cool down my passions. Do they have such things?"

Vivian laughed and said, "Let me get this straight. What you would like is a man with a good stiff member who's always up and ready when you say 'go' and then crawls off and lies down in a corner afterwards and stays there with his mouth shut until you whistle for him again."

I laughed too. "You hit it right on the head. But I'm afraid there just ain't no such animal."

"Ha!" she yelled. "You just said the magic word. Animal. The answer to all your problems, honey child."

"Animal!" I assumed she was kidding. "What do you suggest – a nice friendly chimpanzee?"

"Hell no," she said. "A chimp is a mean son of a bitch. Worse than a man even. They'll bite the hell out of you, those bastards. A dog is the only animal for a woman. They can do every Goddamn thing a man can do for you except soul-kiss, and I can take care of that department for you!"

She was good at kissing. That's what had me worried about myself. I enjoyed her expert kisses more than I ever did my husband's or any man's. But what I was missing was the hard root up in the soft shaft. A good stiff prick, to put it bluntly.

But a dog? I still thought she was kidding. "You're screwed-up and frustrated, right?" Vivian said. "Can't live with a man and can't live without one. A lot of us have that problem. But look at me. Do I seem frustrated? Not for a minute, baby. But did you ever see me dating a man? Forget it – who needs it?"

"Well, maybe you can keep cool just with women," I said. I figured she was giving me a lesbian confession here. "I can't just cut myself off from men though. I'm not programmed that way, I'm afraid."

"Oh, men are fine. I don't knock 'em. Great to talk to – have dinner with – see a show. But you don't have to let 'em take any liberties. That's when they get possessive and bossy. Keep 'em at arm's length and you get them at your mercy. But when you feel that old crotch-fever coming on you and need something up inside there to scratch it where it itches, – that's where faithful old ever-ready Bozo steps up and fills the bill for mama."

All of a sudden with a shuddering jolt I realized that this whole thing was serious. I'd seen her walking Bozo a couple of times – Bozo was a gigantic hound she kept in her apartment. Great Dane, or some such thing. I'd never been able to figure before why she wanted to keep such a huge dog in a small city apartment. But now it all came clear. Apparently she had Bozo trained to "scratch her where it itches."

I didn't know what the hell to say. I guess I just gaped at her – thunderstruck. I couldn't believe it.

"Don't look so fucking horrified," she said. "And don't knock something till you've tried it. Come with me, baby. I'm taking over your education right now." She grabbed hold of my arm. "We're going up to my place and I'm going to give you a free home demonstration of the kind of pussy therapy you need. No obligation to buy. But I guarantee it'd put that half-ass husband of yours right out of your mind and give you a whole new outlook on life, sex-wise. You'll be ready and willing to kiss men goodbye and good riddance."

I must have been in some kind of a daze. I don't even remember riding up in the elevator. The next thing I knew, we were in her apartment and big old Bozo was leaping up all over her with his tongue out, sniffing and yipping. He must have been able to smell her intentions. Personally I was scared to death of the Goddamn beast. I didn't even like little dogs. It looked like she had him pretty well disciplined though. She yelled at him to quit his messing around and get in the bedroom and he did just what he was told.

I guess I looked as if I was about to faint dead away, so Vivian fixed me a drink, which I really needed at that point, and then she said, "Now, you Goddamn prissy-ass Victorian, relax here and breathe deeply until your head clears. I'm going in the bedroom and set the scene for you. When I yell; you come on in and you'll see my free home demonstration of doggy-diddling – the sport of queens."

She left and I could hear sweet-talking and sniffing and rustling around in the bedroom. By now the shock had subsided and I was just burning up with curiosity over the whole thing. It was so fantastic, I couldn't wait to see what she'd be doing with that wild Goddamn dog. I still didn't really believe that she'd actually let him – well, my God!

Then she sang out, "Finish your drink, count three, and come on in, baby. Bozo rides again!"

The dog was making a hell of a racket. I could hear him slurping and snuffling as if he was lapping up his dinner-dish. And then I came through the doorway and my eyes popped out. It was even crazier than I'd expected. Vivian had stripped right down to practically nothing. All she had on was her bra and garter-belt. She was sprawled on her back on the bed with about three fat pillows underneath her rear-end, so that her spread crotch was well up in the air where Bozo could get at it. And was he ever at it! He was standing up between her legs, lapping away at her slit with his long tongue, slobbering and drooling all over it. Actually eating her pussy! Can you imagine?

"Oh no!" I said. "You gotta be kidding."

"Pull up a chair, oh thou of little faith," Vivian said. "This is just the beginning. You ain't seen nothing yet."

I couldn't even talk – I was speechless. I sat down beside the bed and couldn't take my eyes off the freaky scene. That wild doggy tongue was going like mad – all up and down her slit and in and out the hollows of her crotch – really lathering her up good.

"Doesn't that – tickle?" I said like an idiot. I mean, I didn't know what the hell to say.

She laughed. "You're Goddamn right it tickles."

"That's the whole idea, isn't it?"

"How – how did you get him to – er – do that?" I said. "Did you smear something on you or what?"

"In the beginning I did, to give him the idea of what was wanted. But he caught on fast. He doesn't need any inducements any more, just lie down like this and spread it and he takes it from there. Ain't it a gas? He gets his reward afterwards – you'll see."

"Oh, I don't believe it," I said. Bozo was really zeroing in now. It was incredible. Right dead center on her clitoris – working it over with his tongue just like a human person. I was beginning to get hot myself, just from watching. Vivian wasn't talking any more. That crazy tongue was starting to get to her. Her mouth was hanging open and her breath was beginning to come hard.

All I could say was, "Wow – wow," over and over. Now the damn tongue was poking up inside actually. Pushing into her like a prick. Her legs were twitching and her ass quivering. And the dog must've been getting excited too, cause he was beginning to drip saliva and he was panting as hard as she was.

Then all of a sudden she let out a whoop and waved her arms in the air. I guess this was the signal for Bozo to cool it with the cunnilingus and really put it to her. And he got the message all right. He raised up his head and barked a couple of times and then he climbed up over her body and gave her face a couple of licks and she kissed him back. Those two were real lovers, I'll tell you. Now I noticed his prick was up by her pussy, in position to do a job, and just starting to swell up in anticipation of what Bozo knew was coming. Vivian lifted up her legs on both sides of him and stroked his flanks with the insides of her thighs. This was a huge dog, don't forget. The same general proportions as a man. I mean, he really covered her.