E. Make - Maidenhood Lost

The quilt-work patterns below slowly took the forms of farm fields and roads, as Marta Winter gazed from the jet's window. If she strained her eyes toward the front of the plane she could barely make out the outlines of the town they were approaching.

Home, she sighed to herself with a mixture of comfort and regret. The comfort made her feel all warm inside; the regret brought a flush of guilt to her face.

Each year since her husband's death, she had grown to look forward to this yearly trip to Chicago for the fashion convention. The city gave her a freedom she could never find at home. What with raising a son and her work at the department store, she rarely found time for herself. But while at the convention, she was on her own. She wasn't absolutely free of her responsibilities, but after the required work she had time to herself. And that time usually was taken up by men. Perhaps a salesman she had met at the convention, or perhaps someone in the hotel bar.

She wasn't the type of woman a man could normally pick up and the type of man she attracted usually wasn't looking for a pick-up. Whatever happened just happened. This time it had been a young college professor driving cross-country to a new position at a small school out west. His first name had been Jeff. She had never learned his last, even though he stayed over in Chicago three days to continue what had started to be a one night fling.

Not at all the Marta Winter when she arrived home-the prim and oh-so-proper Marta Winter. She had to be. In a small, Midwest town, the atmosphere was too conservative for her to exist any other way. Even to date men caused rumors and going to bed with one would be her ruin. "Loose women" weren't suitable employees. At home, she had a job and a son to protect. So men and sex were neatly tucked away until next year's conventions and she was out from under the eyes of the town's hypocritical moralists and gossips.

This year would be harder to forget. Jeff had re-taught her the desires of the flesh. Young and virile, he knew her better than she knew herself. He was without inhibitions and had no hang ups about his male ego. For four nights, he had awakened and satisfied every yearning within her. Jeff would definitely be hard to forget. Not that she wanted to forget him, but she would out of necessity.

The warning light flashed on above her and she fastened her seat belt. Glancing out the window, she watched the runway and ground come up at her. The plane jolted and bounced again before getting all its wheels on the ground. Then there was the sharp breaking and the taxiing to the terminal building. With one sigh of regret, the last she would allow herself, she rose from her seat as the departure ramp was pushed against the plane, then rose from her seat and exited-the prim and proper Marta Winter once again.

Neal and his latest girl friend, Kari Mason, were there waiting for her as she walked into the terminal. There were the usual welcome home kisses on the cheek and a quick barrage of trivial occurrences during her week's absence. No major problems, but she expected that. Neal knew how to handle himself. Even if there had been problems, he would have made them sound minor.

"… and Kari and I have planned a little get-together for tonight," Neal explained, as he swung her baggage into the trunk of the car.

"Oh, Neal," Marta frowned. "You know I'll want to rest after my trip."

"I know," he answered, opening the door for her and allowing her to slip into the back seat, while Kari scooted in beside the driver's seat. "That's why we fixed everything up. You don't have to do anything, except sit back and relax."

"I don't know," Marta pondered the proposal. "Just don't know if I feel up to it."

"C'mon," Neal urged her. "It'll just be Mitch, Janice, Kari, you and me. Nothing big or nothing fancy."

"Let me think about it," she answered.

"Okay," he nodded. "But let me warn you, neither of us will take no for an answer."

She really didn't feel like the dinner her son had planned. Today was Saturday and tomorrow Sunday. She wanted to lock herself away in her own house and prepare herself to face her job and the town on Monday. She had to have a bit of time to get herself together again-time to neatly file away the memories she had collected this past week.

Her eyes drifted to the passing town outside. She suppressed a shiver. It wasn't that she hated the town; she just felt trapped here. More than once, she had considered moving away and finding some job in the city. But the job situation wasn't right for that and, she admitted to herself, there was security here. She did own their house and she had lived here for the majority of her adult life. If only the town were larger. If only everybody didn't know everybody else, then…

"Here we are," Neal announced, as he cut into their driveway. "Go on in. Kari and I will get your suitcases."

With a smile, she opened her door and slid out. The front door to the house was open. She'd have to warn Neal about that again. Or was she just being paranoid I A week in the city can do that to someone from a small town. The crime headlines splattered throughout the newspapers for the past week had been frightening, especially when the headlines of the hometown weekly usually dealt with Friday night's high school football game.

Home again, home again, Marta smiled to herself as she stepped into the living room, breathing in deeply. Sex!

The room smelled of sex. She shook her head. The week had gotten to her. Now her imagination was playing tricks to taunt her. She inhaled again. The musky, arousing odor was still there, lingering in the room-the smell of sex.

She glanced around. The living room looked normal, no disarrayed cushions on the sofa. Her eyes were suddenly drawn to a small, dark spot on the carpet. She hadn't remembered it being there before. A cigarette burn I But neither Neal nor she smoked. Perhaps one of Neal's friends had been over and accidentally dropped a cigarette.

Walking over to the spot near the foot of the couch, she knelt. Whatever it was it wasn't a burn. The spot was wet and glistened. Reaching out, she touched it with a forefinger, shivering as she recognized its slippery viscosity. Unwilling to believe what was running through her mind, she raised her finger under her nose. The scent was that of a man-the seed of a man's loins.

She rose and sat of the couch. Neal… and Kari? There could be no other answer. The two of them had made love in this room-this floor. And no more than hour or so ago.

"Want me to put these things in your room?" Neal suddenly interrupted her thoughts as he walked through the front door with Kari at his side.

She nodded.

"I've got to go now, Neal," Kari turned to her son. "We'll see you about six tonight?"

"Right. I'll talk Marta into it," her son answered, leaning forward to give the blonde a kiss, then suddenly pulling away as he remembered his mother was present.

The action didn't go unnoticed, nor did Marta overlook the quick squeeze Kari gave Neal's hand before she turned and left. Neal's gaze followed the girl for a moment or two, then he lifted her bags once again and carried them to her room.

"I think I'll lie down and take a little nap," she said as she followed him into the bedroom.

"Okay," he smiled. "Get rested up for tonight."

"I haven't said there was going to be a tonight yet," she answered. "I'll let you know later,"

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned. "Just in case, I'll go ahead and finish getting things ready."

"Get out of here," she laughed, closing the door behind him.

Neal and Kari, the thought kept running over in her mind. Like all mothers, she hadn't noticed that her son had become a man. But he had and quite a handsome one at that. Even with his long brown hair, he still reminded her of her husband. Neal had his father's muscular build and dark features. He even had that little crooked smile that had meant all sorts of things to her young heart the first time she had seen her husband's smile.