Heather Brown: Blow girl

After our torrid beginning, Jeff and I found it impassible to control ourselves. At first it was only once a week or so, but after a while our restraint was completely gone and we were fucking whenever the opportunity presented itself. To rationalize that I had gone back on my word to myself I called it love.

All this time, my reaction to Margot's advice when I first met Jeff still prevailed. As a matter of principle I refused to consider birth control pills. Of course when I had originally made that stand, I was sure that I was not going to be having sex with Jeff. Despite the fact that Jeff and I were fucking regularly, I still avoided even thinking about birth control because, in my mind, that would have given Margot the last laugh on me.

I didn't give it another thought until I missed my period one month. I was panic-stricken. I didn't want to tell Jeff because he would feel responsible and insist we get married, which would mean no college for him. I was in a complete quandary. The idea of abortion occurred to me, but it seemed like murder to me, and, besides, I didn't know where to start as to going about getting one. On the other hand, the idea of actually going scared me out of my wits.

Jeff could tell when we were together that something was wrong. I was quiet and withdrawn and passive about everything. I think he was just about ready to guess what had happened when as suddenly as the problem had started, it ended. We were swimming one afternoon and I had just gotten out of the pool and was drying myself. "What's that on your suit?" he asked.

My period! I couldn't believe it. I was never so happy to see anything in my life as I clapped my hands and whooped for joy.

Jeff must have thought I was crazy, being so deliriously happy about ruining my bathing suit. However, what had happened quickly registered with him as he said, "You were afraid you were pregnant, weren't you? That's why you've been so quiet lately."

I nodded my head in assent.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he implored. "If you had been pregnant, it would be my responsibility as much as yours."

"I just didn't want to burden you with it," I explained. "I didn't want to hold you back from your dream of going to college and law school."

"You let me be the judge of that," he insisted.

"But we don't need to worry about it," I said happily, "because it's all over now."

"But it could happen again," he said seriously. "If we're going to keep on like we have you'll have to go to a doctor and get some birth control pills or something."

Despite my close call, the idea still repelled me. "No," I said, "I don't feel ready to do that."

"Why not?"

"I just can't, Jeff," I said firmly, and left it at mother. It was such a personal thing, I felt he couldn't possibly understand.

"Then what will we do?" he asked. "We can't take the chance of you getting pregnant."

"Don't you see?" I said, talking as fast as I could think. "This gives us the chance to see if we really love each other, or whether it's just physical attraction we have for each other. If we can stay together and keep loving each other without going all the way, then we'll know our love for each other is real."

He was stunned. He didn't seem to like it, but he agreed to go along with it because he was as crazy about me as he had been the day we met.

For the next month our physical relationship was limited to holding hands and brief kisses. Then one night we were parked on a dead-end road in the foothills. It was the kind of situation we had been trying to avoid, but we had just stumbled into it without thinking. We had been to a party, one of those dimly lit rumpus room parties that someone at school was always throwing. There'd been beer and soft music and kids openly necking up a storm. Jeff had suggested leaving at eleven, and we'd driven around awhile after we'd left because it was a hot night and the breeze from the moving car felt good through the open windows. Jeff had driven up that dead-end road without saying a word. The instant he turned off the motor he started kissing me. There'd been something different about him all evening; he was tense and wound up.

As he kissed me he started moving his hands over my body. He began repeating my name over and over again in a low moan. "Please," he begged, "I'm burning up inside. My nuts feel like they're going to explode. Please, just once. You want it

"I can't," I protested. "You know I'm not using anything. We've already decided we can't take the risk of me getting pregnant."

"I'll pull out at the last minute, just before I come," he promised. "Please."

He was right. I did want to! Every nerve in my body was quivering with my desire, especially my cunt. I was hypnotized, mindless, my pussy aching for the flicking that it craved and had been deprived of for weeks. My breath escaped in a soft moan and I let myself go. But only for a moment!

Jeff was pulling at my clothes when the memory of Margot crashed across my mind-Margot teasing me to take the pill; Margot getting pregnant at fifteen. I remembered the men in her life, her promiscuity. I wouldn't be like her. I wouldn't!

"No, Jeff!" I cried. "Stop! I can't! I won't!" I jerked away, and then he tried to pull me back. I sobbed and beat at him with my fists.

Finally, he fell away from me. Groaning, he covered his face with his hands. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

"I'm sorry, too," I whispered miserably. "I wish we could do it, because I love you."

"And II love you," he cried. "That's just it. I love you so much I can't stand it if I don't have you."

"Maybe we should stop seeing each other," I said hesitantly, knowing if he agreed I'd probably die of a broken heart.

"I can't stop seeing you! You're all I think about, all I want!"

"I didn't mean forever," I whispered. "Only until we're old enough to get married."

"Married," he repeated as though the word, the thought, were new to him. Suddenly, he laughed. "Not when we're older," he said urgently. "Now. In a few days. We could drive across the state line. marry me?"

All at once we had an answer to the tearing need between us. "Yes!" I cried. "Oh, yes, Jeff! Yes!"

He let out a whoop and then hugged me. This time when he started running his hands over me I didn't stop him, even when one of them crept up my thigh. I reclined against the car door as he pulled up my skirt and slip and pulled open my legs, running his hand over the dampening crotch of my panties. Then he snaked a finger inside the elastic band around the V of my crotch and began fingering my steaming cunt as I started undulating my hips.

Jeff pulled off my panties and forced his head between my legs, furiously licking my cunt. The spit from his foaming mouth ran into my pussy as his face was moistened with my accumulating juice.

"No, no," I murmured, "not in the car. Let's do it outside on the grass."

We wordlessly got out of the car and settled on a patch of grass. He was in such a hurry he didn't bother to take off his pants, just pulling his raging cock out of his fly with his balls resting on the zipper. As I lay on the ground he threw my skirt over my hips as I spread my legs and arched my back, opening the lips of my drooling cunt as far as possible so he could plunge his trembling cock into me.

His loins fell into the trap of my thighs as he shoved his cock up my cunt. I wanted it so bad, I was so starved for a monster orgasm, even his sizable prick wasn't enough for me. I placed my own hand at the point where our pelvises met and began frigging my clit as he fucked me furiously. With the other hand I reached around and cupped his balls. Sensing that I was exceptionally horny, other hand to ram a finger all the way up my asshole. My senses were deliriously charged: I felt like I was going to shit, piss, and come all at once, and wished I would.