Dorsai - Friends and Lovers

Jade wanted to know "That was when Danny wanted to be with you the first time?"

Nadia grinned as she answered "No, he didn't want to be with me. I wanted him to be the first guy I was ever with like that, because I really liked the kind of guy he is -" I mean, I had already started to love him for how patient and gentle and understanding he is, I just didn't know it yet. Then when he was with me, and we made love and talked – that's when I really knew that I did love him, and why, and it was so much better than I'd thought it would be. Since then, we've made love more; and every time, it's gotten better and better with him. I mean, the physical part -that's good -" better than good, even. It's knowing that I love him, and he loves me, that makes it so wonderful. I still go out on dates with guys and everything, 'cause even though Danny and I love each other so much, I know it's too early for me to think about settling down and having a family and stuff with any guy. I know that Danny won't talk about me and him, so my parents won't find out that I'm making love -" they'd probably think it was just sex -" while I learn about things that I'll need to know when I go off to college, and even after. After he saw us, I*knew* he wouldn't say anything to anybody -" ever. That's why it was Janet _and me_ that were trying to tell you it was okay."

Jade looked at Janet, then Nadia again, before asking "What Danny said – it's what you were trying to tell me, isn't it? About love, and knowing someone, and trust, and all of that."

Sis answered "Yeah", followed by Nadia's "Uh-huh."

"And even after you spent all that time trying to tell me, and I wouldn't listen or believe you, you loved me enough to go get Danny and come back in here -" giving up the private thing you had with him so I'd feel better", looking at Sis.

"Sure. You're one of my best friends, and I love you. I didn't want you to have go around*worrying* like I knew you would if we didn't."

Jade turned to look at me and asked "And you were willing to be with Janet just because she said so, because you love her and trust her that much."

"I said so, didn't I?"

Then she looked at Nadia to say "You thought enough of him that you wanted him to be the first guy you were ever with -" and he made you happy enough that you keep making love with him."

"Well, yeah."

Then, after looking at all of us, she quietly said "And all of you -you're willing to sit here and answer my questions, and explain everything again. And while you're doing that, you tell me that you love me, too -and not just that, but what it is about me that you love -" and*not one* of you said anything about how I look – just what was inside me."

I suppose if Mom or Dad had been there, they'd have recognized what happened to Jade; me and Sis, and Nadia, we didn't have a clue. All we could tell was that she appeared to be off in her own dimension, looking at something none of the rest of us could see while not paying the slightest bit of attention to us.

When she came out of whatever alternate reality she was in, Jade looked at all of us with tears in her eyes as she exclaimed "All of you – you do love me – and so*much*!", looking like she wanted and needed to hug somebody.

She looked at all of us again before suddenly launching herself at me, surprising the hell out of me; I figured that if she was going to go hugging somebody, it would have been Nadia, maybe, or more likely, Sis -" I mean, they were girls, too, and I didn't have any reason to think that she had any interest in ME. That was how it happened that Jade was able to knock me onto my back, and lay with her body on mine as she hugged me and cried into my chest. When I looked at Sis and Nadia, both of them were smiling at what had happened, and looking like they were ready to start crying in sympathy with Jade. As a kid, it hadn't taken me long to figure out that crying was some kind of female group activity – kind of like how they went to the bathroom in bunches in a public place.

So having Sis and Nadia looking as though they were about to start crying, too, was something of a distraction from the feel of Jade laying on top of me. As cool as her body felt, her breasts felt warm where they were pillowed against my chest. I put my arms around her to try and comfort her, and when I started to gently stroke her back, I discovered just how soft and smooth her skin was.

While I tried to settle Jade down again, Sis got up and left her room; when she came back, she had a hand towel from the bathroom. She tried to give it to Jade, but Jade was apparently too preoccupied to notice it. I went ahead and took it, instead, setting it where it would be handy when it was needed. Sis got back onto the bed, electing to sit at the headboard, next to Nadia. The two of them held hands and whispered to each other while I was busy with Jade.

After a while, Jade lifted her head to look at me and say "I'm sorry, Danny."

Well and truly confused, I had to ask "Whatever for? "

"For getting all hysterical, and knocking you down and laying on you, and crying on you."

"Like I said -" what are you apologizing for? It was pretty obvious that whatever it was that you zoned out on us about, it was pretty serious. If you wanted to hang on to me, and cry on me, and all that, it's okay with me. I was still waterproof when I checked in the shower this morning -", I said, trying to draw a smile from her.

The best she could manage just then was a little half-grin, but that was better than crying, as far as I was concerned. When I offered her the towel Sis had brought back, she readily accepted it and began drying her eyes and face. When she was done with that, she blushed faintly as she dried the tears that had accumulated on me.

"Well, I'm still sorry about it", she told me. "It's just that it all kind of -*clicked* in my mind -" what you said, and what Nadia and Janet told me. All of a sudden it all made sense, and I could see how it worked, and how I couldn't help but be a better person if I started doing the things that you do. And then on top of that, I realized that you love me -" all three of you -" and how much – and it made me so sad and happy at the same time I thought I'd just die."

After I gave her a brief hug, I replied "Okay, the happy I can understand. But sad?"

"Yeah. I felt so sad that so many people will never know what it really feels like to love somebody the way you love me, and I love you, and how good that can feel. I mean, to know and love and trust another person that much, and to care for them the way you've cared for me before I really understood it – that there's people walking around that are looking for something to make their lives better – and know that this would help them so much -" yeah, I'm sad for them."

"I can understand that, Jade. But it doesn't have to be that way -" at least, not like, forever or anything. What Sis and I know, we learned from our Mom and Dad; they've got some friends that they helped understand this, too. Dad says that if every person that understands all this stuff will pass it along to several other people, it won't take long before anybody that wants to can learn how to be as happy as they want for their whole life, and won't have to worry about the ones that don't."

"That's something else I realized. You and Janet and Nadia – none of you has ever tried to tell me what to do or what to think, like you would if you were part of some kind of religion or cult or something. When I had problems with some of the girls at school, all Janet ever did was get me to really think about whatever the problem was so that I could find a solution that would work for ME. That was part of what made me like her, at first: she didn't do stuff to be popular or fit in, she did what she wanted to, no matter what anyone else said."