Dorsai - Marilyns Return

The kids, Kelly, and I came into the house behind her, listening to all the laughter at the expression on Marilyn's face when she realized that all of the fuss was for HER. She turned and looked at us, and simply said "Oh, you!" – provoking another round of laughter.

She was guided to a seat on the couch, where Daniel and Janet eagerly joined her; happy as could be that their Tita Marilyn (she'd been teaching them Tagalog) was having a birthday party.

Over the next several minutes everyone took turns giving her the gift they'd gotten her. Robyn and the others had each gotten her some nice clothing. Paul gave her a solid gold crucifix with a diamond in the center and a gold chain so she could wear it around her neck. Bill's gift was a fancy graphing calculator that we'd seen her drooling over. Daniel and Janet had teamed up to get her a collection of Tom and Jerry cartoons (her favorites). Sarah and her husband had given her a very nice pen and pencil set. Finally, it was my and Kelly's turn – and she was in awe of the nice briefcase we'd gotten her; inside, she discovered that we'd included a high-end laptop, too. Crying, she tried to protest that it was too much, and it was Kelly that told her "Marilyn, if you're going to be an economist, you have to have the right tools. I'm sure that all of us know you will make us proud; but now you can do it without having to work so hard. Happy birthday!"

Marilyn started crying in happiness then, of course. I saw a brief wistfulness cross her face, and knew that what she really missed was having Marlyn and Ted there with us. As though on cue, the phone rang then – and when Kelly answered it, she got a mischievous smile on her face and held it out to Marilyn, telling her "It's for you."

It was a very perplexed Marilyn that stood up and went to the phone, wondering who could possibly be calling her at our place – then finding out: it was Marlyn and Ted, calling to wish her a happy birthday. The joy on her face was something to see; I think all of us had to blink back a tear at seeing how happy she was to hear from the only mother she'd ever known, and the only man she'd ever been able to call 'Papa'. Kelly and I knew that she'd been writing letters home, of course, and gotten replies; but we also knew that a letter was a poor substitute for actually talking to someone.

The rest of us kept ourselves amused – and out of earshot – as Marilyn spent nearly an hour talking with her family back in the Philippines. When she was done, she hung up the phone and came over to give me a big hug, saying "Thank you, Tito Dan. Momma told me that it was you that said they should call tonight."

I hugged her back, and then brushed a couple of tears from her eyes before answering "Happy birthday, Marilyn."

She gave me a happy smile, and went in to join everyone as the cake and ice cream were dished out – after she'd blown out all 18 candles, of course.

A few hours later, everyone had gone home, we'd put the kids to bed, and Marilyn was sitting in the den with us.

I saw her start to say something, hesitate, start again, stop again, and finally ask me "Tito Dan – Kelly – may I ask you something?"

Curious to know why she'd think she'd even have to ask such a question, I hastened to assure her that she could.

Another hesitation, and I listened as she told me "Tito Dan, Tita Kelly, when I was here before, with my Momma Marlyn, I know how happy and safe I felt here. And I know how kind you and all of your friends were to me and my Momma."

I nodded, and she went on "I also know that you made my Momma very happy when you made love with her – both of you. And I remember how afraid I was, that night, when I sat here on this couch and asked you, Tito Dan, to make love with me – and how much it hurt me when you told me 'no'. But I also remembered the reasons you gave me then; and it was a long time before I really understood them, even though I understood, a little bit, what you were saying even then."

I thought I knew where she was going with her little speech, and opened my mouth to say something – but stopped when she held her hand up to stop me and continued "I know how kind you and all of your friends were to help us, then, and the orphanage that I had to stay in – until you, both of you, got the job with the factory for my Momma Marlyn. You have all been so kind to us, and the children that are still in the orphanage, and I know that it will never be possible for any of us to repay you for the kindness and love that you have shown us. All I can do, Dan and Kelly, is to promise you that when I return to my country, I will do everything I can to help make the Philippines a good and honest place; a place where the politicians aren't dishonest, a place where poor people don't have to sell some of their children so they can feed the rest, a place where girls like me have the chance to earn money without having to sell their bodies."

I shared a quick look with Kelly, and listened as Marilyn went on to tell us "Tito Dan, you are a very strong man – inside, in your heart, where it really matters. You have shared your love with my Momma, with me, and with all the people that the factory helps. You have loved me, and helped me in so many ways, and I love you. The words 'I love you' are not enough to really say how I feel about you, but they are the closest. What I would like to ask you, Tito Dan and Tita Kelly, is if you would allow me to make love with you, so that I can show you the love that I feel for you – both of you."

Having said her piece, Marilyn simply sat there, looking at us. Mostly me, but also Kelly.

I thought about what she said for a few moments – I could see the fear (of rejection?) on her face – before I finally answered "Marilyn, we" – I gestured to include Kelly – "did the things we did because we already know that it isn't right that the people of the Philippines have to live the way so many do. And we did those things because they were the right things to do. You're right, I do love you. And your Momma. But I don't know if it would be the right thing for me to make love with you, now. Please understand – as much as I love you, I am still not sure that this is the time for that."

Marilyn nodded, almost as if to herself, and got up. She started down the hall, and I looked over to where Kelly was sitting. The two of us looked at each other for several long moments; Kelly was about to say something when Marilyn came back into the den with an envelope in her hand. She gave it to me and said "Momma said that if you told me 'no' that I should give you that, and have you and Tita Kelly read it. When you are done, there is something else that I have to tell you."

With that, she calmly sat back on the couch, obviously waiting for me and Kelly to read whatever was inside the envelope.

I opened it, and was surprised to find it contained a letter in Marlyn's handwriting.

I started to read it, and understood why Marilyn had waited to give it to us…

Dearest Dan and Kelly;

I think that if you are reading this, then Marilyn has asked you to make love with her, and you have refused.

Before she left here, she came to me and we talked about what happened that night she asked you to make love to her before. We talked about it very much, and I know that she understands that it was right for you to have refused her then. But I also know that she has done much to grow up since then – not just in her body, but in her heart and her mind, too.

I do not know exactly why she has asked to make love with you. SHE will be the one to do that. But I can tell you why she is NOT asking such a thing. She is not asking it because she thinks that she is paying a debt for the kindness and love you have shown her. She is not asking it because she is still hurt or angry because you refused her before. She is not asking it because she thinks that it is something that she 'must' do for any other reason like that. I can tell you that she is asking for no other reason than because she loves you – just as I do, and for the same reasons.