Anonymous: The Oyster, volume1 and 2

Soon we all dressed hurriedly, and I made the other chaps promise never to reveal a word as to what had taken place that afternoon.

'You must all appreciate what a jolly sport Agnes has been and she is going to suck off Allingham before she leaves us tonight as he didn't have a fuck or suck himself. Now we have all enjoyed ourselves, haven't we, so we must all protect Agnes's reputation amongst the more prudish members of society. There are many who would, sub rosa, have thoroughly enjoyed our delightful afternoon but would look askance at Agnes if what we all did ever came to their attention. Gentlemen, I am sure that Doctor White would want us to swear a vow of secrecy.'

They all readily agreed upon their honour as Nottsgrove scholars, when to our horror Doctor White entered the room.

'Well, boys, how was your lecture on Smetana?' he boomed out, and I noticed a jolly twinkle in his eye.

'I'm afraid we didn't get much further than a brief biographical sketch,' laughed Agnes, and I looked puzzled. Surely I had not misjudged the situation?

'They behaved exquisitely,' she went on. 'Young Andrew Scott here was everything you said-a born leader who showed every courtesy to me as well as ensuring that as many boys as possible enjoyed my favours.'

'Excellent,' said Doctor White, stroking his curly beard. 'Boys, I think you deserve an explanation. May I present to you not Miss Agnes Carter but Miss Agnes Wilson, currently of the Alhambra Theatre, Holborn. She enjoys fucking young men and I well knew that none of you would mind helping to satisfy her needs. I further took this opportunity to devise my own test of initiative and I must congratulate you, Andrew, for your performance. Forbes-Mackenzie also deserves credit for his sterling work this morning. Agnes, my dear friend, I hope you are satisfied with our labours?'

'Oh, indeed I am, Doctor. How can I ever thank you? My cunny is rather sore just now but it was well worth the ache to have those iron-hard young rods inside my orifices. To mark this auspicious occasion I have asked my patron, Lord Paddington to donate two hundred guineas for the establishment of a scholarship that will allow boys from poorer homes with the necessary academic qualifications to study here at your wonderful establishment.'

'How very kind of you,' replied the good Doctor.

'Merciful heavens, Doctor White, I do assure you most wholeheartedly that the pleasure was quite a mutual affair. Now I must thank all your wonderful pupils again for a glorious bout of fucking that has afforded me much enjoyment.'

'Is there no way by which we can repay you?'

'Oh, I suppose there is perhaps one favour you may do for me. I would be most grateful if Allingham could be excused from his studies this afternoon as I have promised to suck him off-he has never enjoyed the sensation before now and I have no wish to break my promise, particularly to such a strapping young fellow who has such a fine, upstanding prick!'

Doctor White laughed and said: 'But of course you must not break your word. Allingham, you lucky young pup, you arc excused for the rest of this afternoon. Everyone else, back to your labours im-mediately, please, as we have much work to get through before the end of this, term and I don't want anyone falling behind. Agnes, my dear, once again, au revoir, and do come back to visit us again as soon as you can.'

I led the chaps in a rousing chorus of 'For She's A Jolly Good Fellow' and we trudged back to the classroom to complete the day's studies which for us all was a most disappointing anti-climax! Indeed, I can hardly recall what we were studying, but as my mind fetches forth these happy memories from the store of my recollections, I am put in mind of those famous words of the Bard of Avon as so wittily changed by Lord Byron who wrote:

'There is a tide in the affairs of women

Which, when taken at the flood,

Lead on to God knows where!'

How true, how very true!