Anonymous: The Oyster, Volume IV

Just lie still for a while. 'Annette has been missing her dearest friend. They are engaged unofficially to be married but he has been sent abroad by his family who do not approve of the match. They have to stay apart for a year on pain of his losing his inheritance. The family own a large estate in Yorkshire and they believe that Arthur, who is their oldest son, has been entrapped by an adventuress. Annette is half Danish and they cannot accept the idea that she might one day be Mistress of much of the land between Thirsk and Northallerton, and that they will have to move out of the big house. 'It is so unfair. Annette is so sweet and so talented. She is determined to stay faithful so this is the only release that she has. I want to invite her to dinner, maybe even for a weekend, so you need to know this Andrew. She must be treated with respect. You will have to keep your prick under control as far as she is concerned.' 'I promise,' I said, 'although she is a most enticing creature.' 'Don't worry too much,' she went on. 'Between Becky and myself, not to mention Rosie, we should be able to keep you well drained of any excess energy.' 'You don't trust me?' I asked. 'Not altogether,' she said. 'I swear that that Thing of yours has a life of its own.'

'Colonel Moore told me in Bristol that the holy men out East are adept at practising complete self-control, often for years on end.'

'All you'll have to manage is a couple of days, and then only as far as Annette is concerned.' 'As long as I don't have to sit on a bed of nails in some complicated position.' 'Not during dinner anyway,' said Hannah. 'It would be most distracting for the rest of us.' By now all the frenzied activity across the room had died down. The sighs and groans had been replaced with the normal hum of conversation as smocks were removed and day dresses fetched from a cloakroom. The furniture was being restored to its correct position and everyone prepared to go home. Shortly Madame Nettleton entered. 'Time to finish,' she said. 'Be sure that all the stock is replaced and all made neat.' 'She counts the dildoes every evening before she goes home,' whispered Hannah. 'There was something of a scandal two months ago when it was discovered that the Marquis of H-was missing. He had, by mischance, drooped slightly while rising on the wheel and his glaze had cracked in the oven. One of the staff had made the discovery that the resulting object was especially suitable for stimulating her rather blase clit and had taken him home. He was due to be collected two days later and a great fuss ensued. We could hardly call in the police so we had to undertake the interrogation ourselves. The culprit was soon discovered and the Marquis' facsimile was returned safe and sound. Unfortunately we had not noticed that he had sustained a crack in the course of his adventures.' 'What happened?' I asked. 'He fractured while in use,' Hannah replied.

'And was brought back in two parts by a most irate wife who threatened to spread the word that our wares were unsafe. In the meantime the Marquis had left the country to take part in some delicate diplomatic negotiations with one of the Rhineland Principalities.' 'What did you do?' I asked. 'Being unable to replace his likeness with another, we had to ask the Marchioness to take her pick of one of a series that had been commissioned by the widow of a Man of Business from one of the cotton towns of Lancashire. The Marchioness selected a huge example, moulded if I recall aright from one of the mill hands.'

'And she was satisfied?' I asked. 'Very much so. She admitted later that she had actually been thoroughly satisfied for the first time in her life and asked if we could disclose the name of the originator of the truly enormous engine of pleasure. It was then discovered that the man had recently emigrated to the United States of America.' 'How sad for her,' I said. 'In fact all ended well,' said Hannah. 'A substantial sum was telegraphed to Boston and the man returned First Class on the next Cunard sailing. He was met at the dockside by the Marchioness' carriage and delivered safe, sound and in full vigour to the family seat where he is proving a great success in his new position.' 'A happy ending, indeed,' I said.

'And your reputation as purveyors of high quality goods is intact.'

'But it was touch and go,' said Hannah. 'In matters of commerce one has to be so careful.' 'And in fucking,' I added. 'And in fucking,' she agreed. 'But now it is time to go home. I hope that you have enjoyed your day.' 'Very much so,' I replied. 'There is one piece of unfinished business, though,' said Hannah. 'What is that?' I asked. 'Meg,' Hannah replied. 'You did not fuck Meg. I do not like to have my friends disappointed.' 'What should I do about it?' I asked. 'There is no time now. Everyone is going home and I know that your mother wanted dinner to be prompt tonight since Colonel Moore is in town again and is coming to dine with us.'

'You will have to come back later in the week.' 'Should I make an appointment?' I asked. 'No,' said Hannah. 'I know Meg well enough to be sure that she will be very happy to be fucked at any time. Indeed, if you do not return within the next two or three days, she will begin to pester me to bring you back. One word of advice, she particularly loves to be entered from behind. Be careful though that she does not take you into her mouth when she is well aroused.'

'Why not?' I asked. 'She bites. She does not intend any harm but she can get so carried away that what she intends as a slight nip can turn out to be more of an all-out crunch.' 'Oooh!' I flinched at the idea of sustaining such an injury. 'There have been a couple of unfortunate incidents, one taking place on the premises, where a doctor has had to be called out. So stick to her quim. It is an enticingly juicy receptacle and I can promise you a thoroughly enjoyable experience.' 'You speak from experience?' I asked.

She said nothing, but by way of an answer, stuck out her tongue to its full extent, letting my imagination run riot.

It was as the port began to circulate after dinner that the first piercing screams started to resound from below stairs.

'Mary!' said Colonel Moore. 'Once heard, never forgotten. Does she still have the same Gentleman friend?' 'Tom-' said Hannah.

'-the Tool,' Becky went on. 'The very same. She especially requested permission to entertain him this evening since he will be absent from Town for at least two weeks, visiting his family in the provinces.' Rosie was the only person at the table who had not previously heard the eardrum-shattering sound of Mary being fucked. As she listened open-mouthed to the rising crescendo of ecstasy that rang through the house, Hannah and Becky explained to her that Mary was quite incapable of enjoying any sexual encounter in silence. 'She simply can't help it,' said Becky. 'She's barely aware of the noise she is making so we have had to insist that she only fucks when there are no visitors in the house. It is completely impossible for anyone to carry on a normal conversation and pretend that nothing untoward is going on. We make the occasional exception where old friends such as the Colonel are concerned.' 'Nothing that I haven't heard before,' said the Colonel. 'Not the first screamer that I have come across in my time, although probably the noisiest.' 'Of course I know that I still have much to learn in these matters,' said Rosie, 'and I can see that it is a socially unfortunate habit, but still it is somewhat exciting, is it not?' We could all see that she was becoming quite agitated and a little flushed about the cheeks. Truth to tell, I was aware of a stirring response on the part of Mr. Pego to that call of the wild from the basement. 'Do not worry,' said Becky. 'Yours is a perfectly normal reaction. The sound of fucking, like the sight of fucking, is always exciting.' 'I suppose,' said Rosie a little hesitantly, 'that it would be most improper if we, er, went down to have a look?' 'Mary will be far too carried away to notice if anyone else is there,' said Hannah. 'But Tom is a shy young man. We would have to be very discreet, but if you keep out of sight on the stairs -' 'Oh, yes,' said Rosie, rising eagerly to her feet. 'I'll be as quiet as a mouse.' 'I'd better lead the way,' said Becky. 'Remember there is no carpet on the servants' stairs.