Selena Kitt - Baumgartner generations - Janie

going out to breakfast. Wow. Alek was one of those "I have to sleep in my own bed"

types who left at four in the morning.

I got to the end of the texts and realized I also had a voice message. TJ or Ronnie again, I figured, clicking 'dial' and waiting for the phone to connect to my voice mail.

"Hi Just-Janie, it's Josh."

I stared at my cell, blinking. He'd called? Already? When? I realized then that I'd turned my phone to ‘silent’ when I checked my messages at Catherine's.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tonight. How's Masa? I can pick you up at seven."

Tonight? Dinner? Masa? Was he serious? It was the most expensive restaurant in New York-like, $1000 for a romantic dinner for two expensive. And reservations were booked in advance for months. How in the world had he managed it?

"But I have to be honest…this is purely personal. Not business. I want to see you.

Again. Probably wearing more clothes this time, if that’s your preference. Although I really did like the dress…"

His voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. "Anyway, yeah, so I'd like to take you out on a date. And my wife's totally okay with the whole seeing other people thing, as you know, and since you were here after spending the night with her, well, I figured you must be okay with it, too… so I thought I'd give it a shot. What do you say, Just-Janie? Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

Did I want to go out on a date with Josh? No business, purely personal?

"You've got my numbers. Give me a call. Or text me. Or whatever."

I wasn't going to get an agent out of this, I realized. I was going to get another complicate triangulated relationship. And could I really afford that? I looked at the phone, frowning. Catherine was a goddess…but I wasn't in love with her and didn't think I ever could be. But Josh? I remembered talking with him, sharing coffee and canollis, and my whole body felt like a pot just coming to boil.

"Bye for now, Just-Janie."

I can't, I told myself. This is a really bad idea. Getting involved with Josh after going to bed-twice-with Catherine? While I was already sandwiched firmly between TJ and Ronnie? No. It was a very, very bad idea.

2NITE. 7. I HAVE HOTTER DRESSES. -JJ

I texted him anyway, signing it "JJ" for "Just Janie." The name made me smile. I put my phone back into my purse, leaving the ringer on "silent."

Whatever the response, I'd find out when I woke up.

When I drifted off, I found I wasn't thinking about my incredible night with Catherine, even though every movement I made served to remind me. Instead, I was thinking about the way her husband looked at me over a cup of coffee, his dark eyes smiling but hungry, as if he could eat me up in a moment if he got the chance.

Had I just given him the chance?

I secretly hoped I had.

"Janie? Is that you?" TJ's voice broke into my reverie as I stood under the hot, pounding water of their shower. I couldn't stop thinking about Josh, who had left another message while I slept, telling me he'd pick me up at seven and he couldn't wait to see what I'd be wearing. I'd been trying to decide since.

"It's me," I affirmed. There was a shower downstairs, but it didn't have the double showerhead-or the delicious shower massager-so I often snuck up here instead.

"Just taking a shower."

"Can I join you?" He peeked around the curtain, giving me a winning TJ grin, making the cleft in his chin even more prominent. I found it hard to resist him, even from the beginning. It was no different now.

"Where's Ronnie?" I wiped water out of my eyes.

"Shopping." He was already sliding his PJ bottoms off. "For baby clothes," he added, stepping into the shower fully nude. He was tall, tanned and gorgeous, filling up all the available space and blocking the water spray. Not that I really minded.

Sometimes I liked having him all to myself.

"Beth isn't home yet?" I'd woken up on my own-no Bethie jumping up and down on my bed-and slipped up here, feeling incredibly dirty, in so many ways, from last night's romp.

"She's going with Isabelle and her mom to the zoo." He grabbed the soap and began to wash.

I slipped past him to the front, back under the warmth of the water. "Well that's more fun than the Picasso exhibit."

He snorted laughter. "You didn't enjoy our day of art appreciation?"

"Oh, I didn't mind. But I think Beth will like sea lions and polar bears more."

"Probably true." He moved on to washing his hair and I admired him while his eyes were closed.

"Just think, next year we'll have two of them to take to the Met." I was still trying to get used to the idea. "Think a baby will appreciate Picasso?"

"The Picasso exhibit will be gone by then…" TJ rubbed water out of his eyes and looked at me. His expression had changed. I could tell he was really worried.

"I heard you talking this morning."

"What did you hear?" His frown deepened, and the look in his eyes-he wasn’t just worried, he was downright frightened-made me put my arms around him. It was a look I didn’t think I’d ever seen on his face before, unless you counted the time Beth accidentally inhaled an M amp;M and I was the one closest, the one who grabbed her and lifted and squeezed her little chest and made her spit it out. It was that same blind look of panic I saw in his eyes now.

"Why are you so scared?" I kissed his chest, beaded with water.

His arms went around me, tightening, holding me so close it was hard to breathe.

"I nearly lost them both, Janie."

"How?"

He stroked my back. "Pregnancy just doesn't agree with Ronnie."

"What do you mean?"

"She had pre-term labor with Beth," he explained. "You know, when you have contractions way before the baby's ready to live on the outside?"

I nodded. I had a few girlfriends back home who had kids already, and had heard enough on Facebook about their pregnancies-from morning sickness to hemorrhoids-to last me a lifetime.

"Everything was restricted." His arms enveloped me, his hands sliding downward. "She had to stay in bed for half the pregnancy. We couldn't even have sex."

"Is that what this is about?" I exclaimed, my eyes widening as I slapped his hands away from my behind.

"No." He smiled sadly. "If it was just that, we'd have ten kids."

"What, then?"

"She developed preeclampsia," he told me. "Do you know what that is?"

I shook my head. Maybe I knew less about pregnancy than I thought I did, I realized.

"It's when the mother's blood pressure goes way too high. If it goes on, it can cause seizures and even death. For both mother and baby," he explained.

"Can't they fix it?"

He shrugged. "The solution is to get the baby out. But they don't want to do that until the baby is old enough to survive."

I tried to imagine how scared Ronnie had been, how scared TJ must have been.

"So what happened?"

"They finally decided it was too bad and they had to induce labor," he went on.

"They tried that… but Ronnie had a seizure during labor."

"Oh no." Seizures I knew about. My uncle had been epileptic and I'd seen one once. It had scared the pants off me.

"I thought she was dying." TJ blinked fast and I thought there might be tears in his eyes, but it was hard to tell with all the water. "All these doctors and nurses were going crazy, pushing me out of the way, putting stuff in her mouth to keep her from biting down on her tongue. They wheeled her out of there and down to the operating room and I was just…left…standing there…"

"But they did the c-section," I urged, knowing the end of this story at least had a happy ending. "It turned out okay."