Dorsai - Close knit family

With nothing to distract me, I sat there and considered what she'd said — not just the words, but what they told me about her; and how she'd tried to get across to me what she'd thought and done and felt before she made her request. I also had to think about what MY involvement was leading up to that point — whether I'd done anything to encourage her, or cause her to think that I wanted us to be that intimate with each other. Finally, I had to try and figure out what would (or might) happen afterwards, for either choice I made. It wasn't a fast or easy process, and required a lot of serious thought (and no small amount of soul-searching) on my part before I finally had an answer to give her.

When I looked at the clock, I realized that I'd been sitting there for nearly an hour; turning to look at where Karen was waiting, I saw that she was ready to sit there until she got an answer.

When I cleared my throat, she saw that I was looking at her, and realized that I was ready to tell her what I'd decided. She got up, then came over to resume her previous position on my lap.

When she was settled, I put my arms around her waist again. She was looking at me steadily as I told her "You know that what you want is something serious — very serious. And I'm sure you understand why I thought it was important enough that I had to think about it for this long. There are several things that make me think that us having sex wouldn't be a good idea — how young you are, the fact that I am your uncle, and several more. But there also things that make me think that it could be okay, too. Things like the fact that we do love each other so much; and that you worked so hard to try and make sure of what you wanted, and what would happen, and all of that. I had to try and think about what could happen if we started having sex — not just the things between us, but what might happen to you, and even how it could affect your sisters and your Mom. Then I had to try and see if I did anything that maybe caused you think this was something we could or should do, and what I thought about us having sex — and what might happen to me. As much as I could, I had to try to see if I could figure out what good and bad there would probably be, and could be, and might be — not just for you and me, but for your Mom, and Donna, and Wendy, because whatever happens with us is going to affect them, too. I think you can see that there were a lot of things that I had to look at, and think about, and try to decide whether they were big and important, or not — and if they were, how much. I told you that I would never lie to you, and I'm not going to lie to you about this, either. There was a lot of stuff that made me think that us having sex wouldn't be good, just like there was a lot of things that made me think it could be okay, too. Honestly, I'm still not sure that what I decided is the right one, and I'm afraid that it's going to do things that make you end up hating me for it. But what I finally decided was that if you're sure enough to ask if you can give your virginity to me, then the best thing I can do is try to make it as easy and good for you as I can."

As I'd been talking, I could see that Karen was trying to prepare herself for what she thought would be a negative answer — so when I agreed to what she'd asked, it took her a second to understand that she'd gotten the answer she wanted. Still, she didn't get ecstatically happy, or start acting like a kid in a toy store; if anything, she seemed to get even more sober about it -

which actually helped settle my concerns a bit, since it let me know that she really comprehended the significance of the matter.

We were looking at each other when I asked her "You asked me about this tonight, but it doesn't have to happen tonight, unless you want it to. If there's anything you want to do first, or you need to wait, or anything else, that's fine. This will be easiest for you if it happens when you want and HOW you want. There are some things that I can do — and will do! — to help; but the most important part is that you're comfortable with it. I know you know that sex is how babies are made, and I don't think either one of us wants that to happen, so I need to know what we're going to do about it."

She managed to give me a small smile before she answered "That was one of the first things I checked on, Uncle Ted. Because my periods still aren't regular like Donna's, they say it wouldn't be good for me to use anything like chemical birth control, yet. It might be possible for me to get an IUD, but that's usually not something they can do while the girl is still a virgin. I talked to Mom about it, and she said that whenever I was ready, she'd make an appointment for me to get one. I… I decided that when… when we have sex the first time, I don't want either of us to have to do anything special, so I checked and made sure that if it happens right before I start my period, there isn't any egg for your sperm to make a baby with. So if… if we did it tonight or tomorrow, that would be good, because my next period won't start until Tuesday — you can't make me pregnant today or tomorrow, or even Monday; but I think waiting until then would be too close."

I wasn't surprised that she'd thought to check on what her options were; she was the smartest of the three of them, and consistently brought home the best grades — something that didn't always please her sisters.

The next thing I asked her was "You know that we can make love in different ways?"

"You mean positions? Yeah, I know, I've seen diagrams of them."

"Did any of places or things that you used to learn about girls losing their virginity say anything about what was easiest for them?"

She nodded before answering "Yeah, they said the easiest one is if the girl is on top so she can be in charge of how fast it happens. But I'm not sure that I could actually do it myself like that -

hurt myself on purpose that way, I mean. I know that there's no way of really knowing if it'll hurt before it actually happens, and I think I'd be too scared that it would hurt to be able to do it myself. I was hoping that it would be okay with you if you were on top of me the first time — if it's going to hurt, then I know you'll make it as little as you can, and that you won't chicken out like I might; and besides, I'd like it if we could look at each other, and kiss, and stuff."

Myself, I was all in favor of the first option, her being on top of me, so that she WAS in control, and I could be sure that she wasn't hurt. But if she was afraid that she wouldn't actually be able to make it happen when the time came, then her request that I take care of getting through her hymen was something that I was just going to have to do, regardless of how I felt about it.

The last thing I had to make sure of was to ask her "Karen, I know you'll understand why I have to ask this… are you sure that your mom will be okay with this? That there isn't going to be any trouble, afterwards?"

She smiled at me again, then answered "I'm sure, Uncle Ted. When I talked to her about an IUD, she asked me if I thought I was going to need one. I told her I thought I was, and she asked me to make sure first; then she said that I had to decide for myself when I was ready, and that she loved me, no matter what. Then she told me that I didn't have to be afraid, that she knew the guy would do everything I needed to make it easy, and nice. Neither one of us said your name , but I knew she knew that I wanted it to be you. I kinda think she was even happy for me."

Well, Teresa had said that she trusted me completely, and what Karen just told me simply confirmed that fact. Still, I felt a little relief at hearing that Teresa had been okay with the imminent deflowering of her fourteen-year-old daughter.