Anonymous - Gynecocracy

"Oh! Whatever are you going to do to me, Mademoiselle? Oh, don't hurt me! I love my petticoats-I love being a girl-I will be as kind to Lord Alfred as ever he can desire."

"Come here, Miss, and let me tie your hands," said my inexorable governess, taking a long ribbon from a basket and placing it round my wrists, which she tied in front. Then, going to a candlestick on the mantelpiece, she took the candle thence. It had not been lighted.

"Now," she directed, "lie across that ottoman on your face and let me see this beautiful bottom of yours again."

She pressed her arm upon my back and as I reluctantly yielded to the position she indicated, I half turned round and with bated breath enquired what she was going to do with the candle.

"You are not going to burn, to singe me?"

"Oh, no!" with a smile. "I am going to convince you of the passage by putting this candle into it."

"I shan't allow you. I won't. You shan't," I shouted struggling vainly to free my hands, and half in tears.

Mademoiselle laughed. "I shall punish you all the longer for your obstinacy," she rejoined, forcing me down on my face.

I felt much surprised at the strength she possessed and exercised. 316

She held me down across the ottoman, one hand pressed on my shoulder while she ruthlessly turned up my tea gown and petticoats with the other. I kicked and struggled and consequently received a stinging slap as soon the skirts were sufficiently removed to expose me to it.

"There," she cried, as I tingled, "lie still or I will beat you until you do. I shall not permit this absurd nonsense, these crotchets. You shall just do as I bid you and be at the mercy of whomsoever I choose to subject you to without any questioning or reasoning on your part. I will have implicit obedience."

She opened my drawers at the back. The exposed behind completely upset my equanimity. She not only carefully exposed my bottom but the colder air upon my nakedness made me thrillingly sensible. Placing her elbow on the small of my back to keep me down, she separated my cheeks until she found what Lord Alfred had sought and pierced.

To my inexpressible consternation, I felt something, against the opening-a very persistent, very insinuating force, the thin edge of which all the voluntary and involuntary contraction of my muscles was unable to withstand. I sighed and groaned, but could not escape.

The instrument entered. Another push and I became conscious of an expansion. I was helpless to prevent the entrance into me of a larger mass which was pushed until I thought I was impaled on a stake and which seemed to penetrate my very nature.

"Now deny that you are a girl!" exclaimed my governess drawing the thing almost out again causing me excruciating sensations; and then, when it was almost entirely withdrawn, reinserting it.

"Oh, oh, oh, Mademoiselle!"

"You naughty girl!" moving the candle to-and-fro.

"Oh, I will never be so silly again!" I cried, abandoning myself, perforce, to the like to-and-fro movement. "Oh, oh!"

Mademoiselle continued.

I gasped.

"Oh, Mademoiselle! Will not that do? I am convinced I am a girl."

And I tore at the ribbon which bound my hands.

"No, I shall push the argument home. Was Lord Alfred like this?"

"Yes, but-not so big, not-so-strong!"

"Indeed!" exclaimed Mademoiselle, never relaxing her infliction.

And then she slid her hand round my waist, and over my clothes and caught me in front.

"A boy, too!" she declared.

"Oh, oh!" I ejaculated, at the fresh influx of feelings she now excited.

"Prove that to me!" she ordered.

I held my breath and my tongue, to overcome, to do otherwise.

The proof was soon given her and I felt absolutely exhausted.

But she continued to hold me.

"I shall behave better than he did. I shall not withdraw yet as you have given me so much trouble. Just a little more."

"Oh, Mademoiselle!" I cried, almost in tears, and clenching my teeth.

For quite five minutes she continued. Before she had finished I felt a very strange internal commotion. I buried my face in the cushion and submitted helplessly, hopelessly, quite reckless as to the consequences. It seemed an age, but at length it was over.

"A girl warranted not to have a baby!" remarked Mademoiselle as she at length moved away and allowed me to get up.

"It gives me diarrhoea," I foolishly observed as I got up in a very sheepish fashion. "No, nonsense, Julia!"

"Oh, I must leave the room, Mademoiselle!" I asserted. "Well, it is high time to dress and you may go, but mind you behave yourself tonight. I think I have smoothed things for you."

I returned to my dressing room to get ready for dinner and to prepare to meet my lover again; not without certain qualms, which Mademoiselle had taken effectual means to quell.

I felt that, willy-nilly, I must give myself up to him; and the consequence of her lesson was that I would not scruple further about the matter. Anything was preferable to being punished by her with that candle.

We assembled in the drawing room. I in a very low dress, which Elise had helped me to do. I had on one of my strictest corsets, laced "severely," and I was chiefly occupied with the hope that I should survive.

My shoes were cut low, my legs were encased in openwork stockings, and the heels of the shoes I wore were fearfully high.

I had roses in my hair, and a cluster of them at my breast. I was perfumed with eau de Cologne, my face was delicately rouged, and I endeavoured to comport myself like a young married woman and to meet my lover or husband for the once with aplomb.

He looked very well indeed, and I believe the girls envied me. Beatrice's face was a study; but just as I could not rid myself of the notion that I myself was acting, so an unholy and tantalising fancy kept bothering me that Lord Alfred Ridlington was doing the same.

Many symptoms appeared to me to confirm my suspicions. Notwithstanding all Mademoiselle's assertions and doings, I believed myself fundamentally masculine, and I began to think Lord Alfred Ridlington feminine.

However, the evening passed pretty much like that famous one which I spent for the first time in girl's dress when he had taken me to the conservatory, and my sensations were the same.

Lord Alfred took me into dinner and sat next to me. During it, and afterwards, he devoted himself to me, full of those little attentions so delightful to a girl. And upon this occasion we were quite en famille, there were no other men or guests.

At length, after a merry and exciting evening, I determined to exercise my prerogative and retire.

I kissed Mademoiselle as usual; and then, with a blush, I bade my lover good night. Prompted by some mischievous spirit, I said, as I did so: "You will not stay long in the smoking room, Alfred-you will come soon, won't you?" And I looked affectionately into his eyes. He gazed at me in return, first at my face and then at my gown and pretty ankles, which were disclosed by the way in which I had been schooled to hold up my dress when moving.

"Yes, dear," he replied, "at once if you like."

"Oh, no!" I answered, as a hot blush rose to my cheeks. "Give me time to get into bed." And I smiled at him.

As I left the room Beatrice also got up and wishing Mademoiselle good night, followed me.

She overtook me on the staircase.

"Julian, you wretch!" she exclaimed, with great disdain. "How can you behave like this? Don't you know you are engaged to me? Don't you know you are a boy, not a girl, and Lord Alfred-Lord Alfred indeed! Don't you know what he is!"

I very nearly dropped my candle.

"Don't you know?" continued Beatrice, with infinite scorn. "You are no more a girl than I am a boy, and he is no more a man than you are a girl!"