Anonymous - Gynecocracy

I knelt up, puzzled and disappointed.

Beatrice put her hands on my shoulders and pushed my head down to her middle, making me turn round as she did so. She caught my head with her thighs.

"There," she exclaimed, "that is what you want," as she rubbed herself against me, "and here," taking hold of Mons. Priapus who was now near her face, "is my toy. You shall sleep like that."

"It is not what I meant at all," I gasped.

"It is what I meant though," replied Beatrice, "and you shall stay so all night because I want this thing and will not be done out of him."

"Capital," exclaimed Mademoiselle. "Good night. Mind you keep to your bargain, Beatrice."

"I certainly shall," exclaimed Beatrice.

"There, Julia, you beast," she added as soon as Mademoiselle had gone, giving me a sound smack, and then another, and another, "there, I have outwitted her hand on you, and I have got you to myself anyhow. How could you consent to play such a part and with me too? You shall pay for it hereafter. Now kiss me at once! You know how. It is not the first time and I shall perhaps, just once, act Agnes' part with this thing."

She did so as I kissed her.

When we had rested she made me get underneath the bed clothes and dived into them herself, placing me in the same position again. What a night it was! I, as the hours-Hark! I hear Mademoiselle's voice; she is 306

wondering what I am dawdling over. I must be off, and with a sigh I broke off my broodings about that night, put on my most elegant tea gown in frantic haste and rushed off to her boudoir.

"Julia," exclaimed Mademoiselle, as at last I entered her room in some hurry and confusion, "what on earth have you been doing all this time? Surely it cannot have taken so long to change your frock! There was no one with you, was there-Beatrice, or Maud, or Agnes?" she enquired with an uncertain and menacing air and a look which scanned me searchingly. "No?" she went on, relieved, and unbending her brows as she heard my denial. "Then what on earth can you have been doing? You knew I was waiting for you: the tea is cold long ago. I have a good mind to make you drink it as it is for a penance; but, I suppose, today you must be indulged; and so," going to the kettle, "I will make you some fresh tea. You must attribute this complaisance to the sympathy between our feminine natures. As a girl myself I can understand what you have been through."

I gave Mademoiselle a grateful look in recognition of her taking, in this good-natured way, my having kept her waiting so long, while the suggestion of a similarity between her eminently feminine nature and my own, caused a wave of feeling to pass over me not at all unpleasant in its effects, occasioning me a sweet sense of confusion and shame at the suggested positive allegation of my womanhood and the attendant irresistible conviction that beneath my lady's attire existed a veritable girl.

I felt ashamed of Mons. Priapus of whose existence I had become bewilderingly aware from the force of her words which excited very curious sensations, and I proceeded, impelled more by civility than by any other pronounced motive to make the best excuses I could.

"While I was changing my frock, Mademoiselle," I said, slowly watching her as I spoke, "various recollections rushed upon my mind which so absorbed me that I fear I dwelt longer upon them than I ought to have done; and, indeed, I was not aware how quickly the time was passing."

"Ah!" exclaimed Mademoiselle, with a little gesture of delight and a very intelligent glance. "I can easily understand and excuse you. No doubt you were dreaming of your first lover. Come, sit down here beside me"; and with a tone expressing much interest and sympathy, "tell me all about it, my dear."

Mademoiselle's manner was tender and delicately affectionate. It conveyed to me that she would consider my maiden bashfulness, if I could any longer consider myself a maid, or that, at least, she would not shock me by too rude an assertion of the change.

She treated me, indeed, as though I were a girl who had undergone some radical physical alteration, tacitly assuring me that she would make due allowances for its effects on my being.

Now this was very embarrassing to me. I had not become aware of any alteration in my anatomy, or, indeed, of any revolution in my ideas. What Lord Alfred Ridlington had done, had, in fact, been disappointing, or I was disappointed that he had not done more.

In what had taken place I had had no active part. I had been passive only, I had not received or actively acknowledged the receipt of anything. In fact I had felt acutely the want of the anatomical apparatus necessary to conceive. He had given me various sensations, resulting, as I knew, in nothing; for when he had so opportunely left me what he had given me was disposed of by me.

And he had done no more to me than what Mademoiselle had done on the first of June, than what Elise had done on the first dry day that I was under her; than what my mamma had done in her bedroom at the hotel when she had screwed that flexible tube into the ivory bulb which had been inserted into me during our journey up to town; but, of course, having all this done by a man to me in the character of a girl, had a queer, perplexing, and very exciting effect on my temperament. He had wooed me in the most approved fashion and had sought and obtained all that as a girl I had to give.

"I see," said Mademoiselle, "you should have had a honeymoon with your lover. You desire seclusion and quiet-an opportunity to compose yourself, to recover from the first shock of intimate acquaintance with a man!" (I shuddered and blushed.) "But come, Julia, there are no secrets between you and myself. Will you not confide in me? Has he-"

Naivete, a delicious simplicity, and artlessness always characterized me. I therefore answered candidly.

"Oh, Mademoiselle! I was not dreaming of Lord Alfred Ridlington, I was thinking of Beatrice."

"Of Beatrice!" ejaculated Mademoiselle. "Of Beatrice!" and I know her thoughts ran upon all sorts of things in connection with that damsel.

"Mon Dieu! What are you dreaming of Beatrice for? Look at those cushions, look at that ottoman. They tell a tale, I want to hear about that!"

I blushed again and looked at her. There was nothing for it but to give her a full narration and I summoned up my energies for the purpose.

I sat down beside my governess under the absolute conviction that I was a girl like herself and I abandoned myself to the feeling while I hugged my petticoats about me as friendly things, the exponents of the truth regarding my sex. I felt very naughty and very happy. The happiness was due to the charming influence of my governess upon me and to the close proximity into which I felt drawn to her.

"Sometime ago," I said, looking into Mademoiselle's eyes, "I always wanted to be a boy for you, and now it seems so delightful to be the same as you are-a girl like yourself!"

"Well," said Mademoiselle, after a few seconds' pause during which we both followed out our thoughts, "Well?" and she moved her legs 310

underneath her voluminous skirts in a peculiar manner. "Has that thing been cut off then?"

"No; only you assure me that I am a girl."

"Yes; certainly I do. It is punished by your being made to feel so." And she turned and looked into my eyes with an expression which searched the depths of my being and covered me with shame.

Mons. Priapus at once grew and all other feelings gave place to an ardent longing to be embraced and lost in that ample bosom, engulfed and annihilated by those firm round strong thighs.

"Oh, Mademoiselle!" I cried, my cheeks flushing.

Mademoiselle laughed.

"So you think, after all, you will want a girl to console you sometimes, Julian?"