Anonymous - The Lascivious Monk

The day after the orgy in the vestry, Father Pineraide was surprised that nothing happened when he tried to take a leak. His prick was thick and swollen, felt sore to the touch and looked terrible. He went immediately to the outhouse, only to discover that he could not shit either.

He was obviously very disturbed, but hoped that nature would heal him. But no matter how patiently he waited, he could not piss and he could not shit.

On the contrary, a terrible pain spread through his body. It started with his asshole and his prick, spread through his loins and hips and it burned like fire. Soon he was unable to walk and had to take to his bed.

He notified Father Duretron who immediately came to Motte-sur-Vy, taking along a friend who was a medical specialist and upon whose discretion one could count…

This learned man first inspected the prick of Father Pineraide and then his behind. His face looked very severe.

“Too bad that this has to happen to you, my friend!”

“My God, what's the matter with me?” Pineraide asked, filled with fear.

“My poor friend, you have gonorrhea up front and syphilis in the behind.”

“Gonorrhea… and syphilis?”

“Yes, and it is very serious…”

“Oh, my God,” exclaimed Father Duretron, “I make a bet that you have fucked my old housekeeper in the ass…”

“Yes…”

“And you have allowed the little Celestin to cornhole you?”

“Yes…”

“Then, my friend, you are lost, because both of them are hopelessly diseased.”

And, unfortunately, Father Pineraide was lost. Forty-eight hours after the doctor's visit he died miserably in his bed, swearing and dooming all women and choir boys to everlasting hell.

He was buried secretly because he smelled so foul that the women in Motte-sur-Vy had to scrub their homes and streets with a solution of chlorine.

And this, dear readers, is the end of the story of Father Pineraide.