Jacky S - Suburban Souls, Book I

I soon exploded my cartridge and she remained in bed. The closeness of her posterior charms prevented a drop escaping. I asked her if I had penetrated a little way in behind, but she denied it.

Then a little more play, and once more I made her spend with my finger, the while I sucked her large and fiery nipples. This time, she herself asked me to masturbate her. She thoroughly appreciated this last bout and wanted nothing more.

She had got some sort of an idea vaguely into her head that she could get married and not let her husband penetrate her. She seemed to have horror at the idea of a man's perforator piercing her body. She kept telling me to be careful how I tickled her clitoris, as she had heard a story of a girl being violated by a young lover's middle finger! There was an impression I had, that real coition with a husband or a lover did not tempt her.

I began to talk cautiously to her about a friend I had in England. He was a lord and was married. Being much older than his wife, and being blest or cursed with the same tolerant ideas as I had, he allowed his better half to have lovers and I wanted Lilian to send her brother, who was working hard in London, to the easy-going couple. She refused to communicate with him on the subject.

I offered her other women if she cared to try a little tribalism. But she would not entertain the idea for a moment. I soon found out that she really liked men and would not object to “fun” with two men at once. I asked her if she would lunch with me and my friend from London. She would certainly, but would not go to him when she went to England in the autumn.

After all was over and she was dressed, seeing that I was rather quiet and cool towards her, she crept up to me and apologized spontaneously and prettily for all her shortcomings.

“I meant to be your slave, and coming up in the train I rehearsed all that I should do and how I would be quite unresisting in your arms. But when you took hold of me, I could not overcome my feelings of shame. Let me get used to you and I will really be your 'thing,' as devoted to you and even more obedient than Smike, but you don't know how difficult it is for me to summon up courage and come along this rue de Leipzig to you.”

And then she wanted to remake the bed, so that the people of the house should ignore that we had used it.

Her mixture of true or feigned innocence, with her natural perversity and coquetry, bewildered and delighted me. She aroused my lust completely, and I could not look at her without the most filthy ideas of refined enjoyment crowding into my mind.

We left the house, and I took her to a café where we had a pint bottle of dry champagne. While drinking it and talking on indifferent subjects, I saw her eyes half closing, her nostrils began to quiver, and her carmine lips, all fiery from the recent touches of my moustache and teeth, were bedewed with saliva.

“Why, you're coming!” I exclaimed.

“Yes, darling, but how do you know?”

I explained the signs that had betrayed her, and asked her the reason.

“Only because I am seated here alone with you! Oh! I'm sopping!”

She would have returned to the rue de Leipzig, but it was too late. I was fortunate enough, although it was the month of June, to secure a closed fiacre and was able, during the drive to the station, to verify the fact that she was really inundated.

I must not forget that I gave her a fifty-franc note, which she said she was bound to show to her Mamma, to account for her prolonged absence from home, and I regretfully left her, thinking on my way home of her handsome drawers ornamented with lace, and the dainty chemise to match, with its little bows of pink ribbon, and I wove new schemes of future orgies with her-my Lilian. I was in truth very far gone.

LILIAN TO JACKY.

(No date or place.) Received June 24, 1898.

It is five o'clock in the morning, but as I cannot sleep, I get up softly so as not to wake the slumbering household and quickly write a line to my well-beloved master.

The most conflicting sentiments agitate me since yesterday. I feel ashamed of my lewdness and yet I regret having been so reserved.

I adore you, the thought of you alone drives me absolutely mad. I am eager to see you again. I thirst for you. I want to be yours, yours entirely, to be your thing, your slave.

I have a prayer to offer up to you: Next time we meet, if now and again in spite of myself I refuse you the least favour, I most beg of you only to repeat to me this simple sentence: “Do it to prove to me your love!”

I know that I am very silly, but my dear and beloved little Papa, I only ask to learn, and I often say to myself that I am very foolish to reserve myself for some creature I shall certainly never love, since you alone possess my soul, my heart, my body.

How long the days will seem to me until the end of the month! And I fear already that I have wearied you by my ignorance and my timidity.

I remember your dear lips,

Your

LILIAN.

LILIAN TO JACKY.

Sunday.

(No date.) Received June 27, 1898.

Adored master,

Your little girl is suffering to-day. Have no fear. It is nothing serious; in three or four days it will be all over.

How good and generous you are! You possess the patience of an angel, but your little daughter will really become your slave in every sense of the word.

One of the reasons which as well as my wretched shame prevents me from being as submissive as I should wish, is that I do not esteem myself handsome enough for you. I have an awful fear lest I should dispel all your illusions, you who have known so many women. If I was formed like a real woman and not like a silly, awkward young girl, it would be quite different.

I am well-built, I know, but really too thin. I should like to be marvelously beautiful for you, for your sole joy and pleasure.

I have a heap of questions to put to you the next time I see you. There are certain things that I do not understand at all, and that I should dearly like to know!

When you want to see me, make a sign, and I'll fly to you, my love, but not until the end of the month as arranged.

I adore you,

Your

LILIAN.

ERIC ARVEL TO JACKY.

Sonis-sur-Marne. June 30, 1898.

My dear Jacky,

I am commissioned by Madame to tender you her very best thanks for the very handsome addition you have enabled her to make to her dressing-table. I cannot tell where you discovered such handsome cut-glass bottles, such as they do not make nowadays, and which I can assure you are highly appreciated. We cannot help looking at them and since they arrived last night they have been in our hands time after time. You are really too good, and you embitter our minds when we think how handsomely you are always inclined to recognize a hospitality which in your case it is to us a true pleasure to exercise. Can you come down on Saturday and spend a long day with us so that we may thank you personally for all your kindness? We will have some fresh fruit and vegetables, and with a bit of luck we can give you some peas such as you have rarely eaten. Give my very best wishes to all your good folks at home, who I trust are well.

Yours very truly,

ERIC ARVEL.

LILIAN TO JACKY.

(No date or place.) Received July 1, 1898.

My best beloved master,

Do come tomorrow, then we can settle about Monday if you wish.