Jacky S - Suburban Souls, Book II

billets doux

going astray was a very old one and quite worn out. She only laughed slyly at this, and did not mind it at all. And we were all very happy together. I had never been treated so kindly by them. Papa called me his dear Jacky, and affectionately tapped me on the shoulders, asking my advice on photography, with which he was very much taken up just then, and Lilian came and praised me as much as she could in front of him, saying how useful I should be to her fond Papa, and he proposed that I should become an effectual aid. He suggested that when there were great

fêtes

in Paris-reviews, state funerals and so on-he and I should go together with his fine detective camera. After taking as many views as possible, I was to start away to Sonis with the plates, and develop them rapidly, while he stopped in Paris to write the letterpress. As soon as I could manage, I was to return to Paris with the negatives finished, and manuscript and photographs could thus be sent off to London by the night mail, and in case of need I would take everything over myself. To do all this, it was necessary that I should learn the management of all his apparatus, and the recipes of his developers, etc., and so it was agreed that I was to come to the house much more often. I was swimming in an ocean of delight, and at each project for my collaboration with Papa, my Lilian appeared with a cunning smile on her rose-pomaded lips, and a side-glance at me, as if to say: “See what I am doing for you!” In the evening, she told me plainly that she was working her Papa in an underhand way for me, and in time I should be his secretary, if I liked. Even the mother took me on one side while I was busy at the south side of the garden with some printing frames, for we were hard at work already on some views of Sonis and the house and garden, and told me that her husband had too much to do and that he ought to have somebody to help him in his writing. I replied that I had some small amount of literary talent, and should be glad to do anything he wished, and she gravely said that I should have to work with him. Can it now be wondered that I fully believed all this, and felt grateful to Lilian, as this was her doing, and all for love of me? Disinterested love, too, for she knew by this time how poor I was.

The kindness of the Arvel family and the sweet solicitude of Lilian extended all through the month of February, and I mention this fact, so as not to keep recurring to her parents' goodness or her caresses, as she never passed me without a gentle touch of her fairy hand, or she would give me a luscious kiss if there was no one in sight.

I believe the afternoon was rainy, for we passed much of our time in the drawing-room: Lilian, Raoul, and I. Papa was busy doing some press work and was shut up in his little library. Lilian was very gay, and so was I. We frolicked and belabored the piano in turn, laughing and singing like so many children. I was struck by the great love shown towards her brother by Lilian, now that for the first time I saw them together for a few hours. She would ask him to kiss her, and throw her arms round his neck, while their lips would meet in a long embrace, and Lily would heave a deep sigh of satisfaction and exclaim: “O-h-h-h, sweetheart!” I loved to see this voluptuous play between brother and sister, which confirmed all my suspicions, and the mere sight of their gamboling together in such a lewd way, quite unbefitting their consanguinity, caused me to have violent erections as I sat with them. The same madly voluptuous feeling would also overcome me when she approached her Papa, so the reader must not be astonished when I tell him that all my old desire for Lilian had returned and was stronger than ever from this moment. I think any man would have felt much the same in my place. I was in a delicious daydream of lust as I danced and waltzed with Lily that afternoon, and she gave her brother and myself a private view of some high-kicking, which was simply remarkable for a liberal display of black stockings and frilled drawers of more sober style than those she wore when she came to me in Paris. Whenever she lifted her leg, I did not fail to notice that she half turned her back to me, and Raoul had a full view of the mysteries of her lingerie, while I only saw as far as her garters. The whole concluded with a rapturous bout of osculation, as Lily threw herself on her handsome brother, and I sat by in an armchair, possibly looking as silly as any man must, when his virility threatens to continually burst through the cloth of his nether garments.

During our play, Lily spoke of tuition in dancing, and our talk drifted into speaking about lessons in deportment. Merrily taking up the suggestion, she put me through a kind of fantastical drill of her own, and made me sit down, remain motionless, with my legs apart, or joined together, and I had the greatest trouble to hide my lump of manhood from the brother's gaze, though perhaps he saw it all the same.

I am not ashamed to say that the idea of being ordered about by Lilian excited me to boiling point, and for the first time in my life I began to realize that there was really a bewitching kind of lascivious joy in becoming the slave of the woman we love, and I could now understand what was meant by Masochism.

Everybody seemed happy in that house, and the only blot upon the picture was the backbiting of Papa with regard to Raoul.

Lilian was anxious to sell her litter of pups, so I arranged to put an advertisement in a Parisian “dog paper” as soon as possible, and Papa declared that all the proceeds were to go to the fair daughter of the house.

Mamma was very gracious to me, and went so far as to consult me on the menus of the future meals I was to take at their hospitable dwelling. I begged her to be less generous in future, and not to put three rich dishes on the table at every

déjeuner,

as she had been in the habit of doing, but to treat me as a real member of the family, and cater for me in more sober style. She agreed, and, bidding me good night, left with Raoul, going up to Paris to see

Cyrano de Bergerac;

Mamma was right glad to go abroad with her handsome son, who had really improved through his military training, and looked very well in his French military uniform, although it is not very pretty.

I was in the seventh heaven of delight, and saw a great erotic future before me at Lilian's house, being pleasantly aroused from my day-dream by Lilian whispering to me:

“By and bye, ask me before Papa to put on my Japanese dress!”

Before I had time to reflect, I heard her call over the top of the staircase:

“Papa! I am going to dine with Mr. S., as a Japanese girl!”

He pretended to be annoyed, and said it was not

comme il faut,

and her mother would be vexed, but I, of course, smoothed him down, and said I had asked her, adding that we were in the thick of the carnival, and therefore a pretty disguise might be tolerated. He gave way, and I soon afterwards met Lilian on the stairs, coming out of her bedroom in full Japanese array, looking the very portrait of a fashionable “geisha.” Her robe was adorned with large scarlet flowers and set off her dark complexion to great advantage. The loose gown was largely open in front, cut in V-shape, and I could not resist thrusting my hand into her corsage, but she rudely repulsed me, with an air of defiance. Lilian was full of these whimsical changes of mood. I let the matter pass, and complimented her on her beautiful appearance; for in truth, she looked weirdly fascinating.

She told us that she had had great difficulty in finding the key that fitted her Mamma's wardrobe, so as to get out her costume, and shortly afterwards, we sat down to dinner: Papa, Lilian, Granny, and myself. The old woman does not count in this narrative.