Рейчел Уэллс - A Cat Called Alfie

‘You know what, we’ve humoured you long enough. We come to your very long meetings, and what do they achieve? Nothing! They’re generally just a load of hot air.’ Jonathan stood now but still kept a bit of distance between him and the Goodwins.

‘Hours of hot air,’ Matt supported, looking like a man who would never get those hours back again.

‘But we won’t see this neighbourhood becoming unwelcoming and nasty, which is what is happening thanks to you two. You’ve taken against people you don’t know for reasons of your own imagining. No, we won’t be signing your petition and unless you decide to be more reasonable we won’t be coming to your meetings again,’ Jonathan finished.

‘How dare you!’ Vic shouted.

‘Hey, let’s be calm about this,’ Polly started. ‘None of us are disputing that the family’s behaviour is a little strange but we’ve spoken to Karen and Tim and we feel confident that they’re simply a family in turmoil. And that’s the only reason why they’re so intent on keeping themselves to themselves.’

‘Oh, Polly, you are young and naïve. You’ve let yourself be taken in by these people. Listen to our experience and trust us.’ Heather sounded so patronizing.

‘You’re being ridiculous.’ Jonathan lost his temper again. ‘We’ll have no part in what you’re doing, so please leave my house and leave us alone. Blimey, the Snells have got the right idea.’

‘It’s a shame you own your homes otherwise we would have you evicted from the street too,’ Vic said, shouting back at Jonathan.

I cowered under the seat; both men sounded quite aggressive.

‘And don’t think you will get one of our special Christmas cards this year either,’ Heather added before they stormed out.

After everyone was sure they’d gone, Claire started laughing. ‘My God, the ultimate punishment — no Christmas card!’

‘I wish I could have been that photographer,’ Polly said, tears of laugher rolling down her cheeks.

‘Imagine, them and the cat in those jumpers?’ Claire was almost doubled up.

‘Where do you even get human and cat matching jumpers?’ Matt asked.

‘Oh she probably knits them,’ Polly added.

‘Hey, honey we could do that next year,’ Jonathan suggested. ‘Me, you, Alfie and the baby all in the same jumpers.’

‘Somehow I don’t think your relatives would get the irony,’ Claire said.

‘Now who said I was trying to be ironic?’ Jonathan asked.

Love makes the world go round. If you look, you see it; snapshots of love, everywhere you go. Especially on Edgar Road.

In a smile, a look, a gesture, you can feel and see love. It radiates a power that envelops everyone it touches. It wraps you up and keeps you safe and warm. You see the world a bit brighter, the sun feels warmer, the flowers look more colourful, and you see beauty everywhere.

Matt, Polly and the children all showed this love; Claire and Jonathan more than ever now; and it was obvious how much Franceska and Tomasz loved each other and their children. And they all loved me. Even the Goodwins gave off a feeling of love to each other, although it was strange they seemed to derive pleasure from meddling in other people’s lives, but it was clear they loved each other and Salmon in their funny matching-jumper-kind-of-way.

Another month had passed since Tiger and Tom had started hanging out and they were looking almost loving, and, although it was clear that Tom was keener, the way Tiger acted when he was around suggested she was falling for his rather odd charms. So that left me. I loved so many people and cats, but of course the romantic part of my heart was reserved for Snowball.

There were many types of love, I learnt. The happy kind, that surrounded us and the sad kind that surrounded Snowball and the Snells. I knew they all loved each other but they were lost and theirs wasn’t happy love, it was sad love. I had to do something about it, I knew, not least because I needed to win Snowball’s heart. Although that probably makes it sound more selfish than it is, because I also love helping people — you see love can mean so much, it really does make the world go round.

Because Jonathan had stood up to the Goodwins they had become even more determined in their irrational dislike of the Snells. Tiger reported that they had indeed started a petition to get them to move from the road, and they were taking it door to door on our long street. It was ridiculous and the thing was never going to work, because most of the residents of Edgar Road wouldn’t even know who the Snells were. We knew a few neighbours to wave at but even the dreaded Neighbourhood Watch meetings only attracted a fraction of the very long street.

What worried me was what I had heard Jonathan and Claire talking about. If the Snells were indeed vulnerable in any way then they would be made even more so if they felt unwelcome. They might even move to another house for a quiet life and that meant they would take my Snowball with them. Despite the fact there was no actual threat from the Goodwins the upset their action caused could do a lot of harm nonetheless.

In lieu of knowing how to fix everything, it was time for me to make a ‘grand gesture’. I had seen this, both on television and in real life. A grand gesture was something one did to show your loved one how much you loved them, although it usually involved some kind of sacrifice.

It was time for me to do a grand gesture for Snowball. I needed to woo her. I needed to show her that I meant what I said, and that she wasn’t alone. I had barely seen her since that time in the garden a few weeks ago, although I had tried to; she was proving ever more elusive, forcing me to step up my efforts.

I ruled out music, and crossed poetry off my list too as cats aren’t great at reciting it. I could bring her a few gifts but that definitely wasn’t special enough. I had no one to consult either; if I asked Tiger she would give me one of her withering looks and probably laugh at me. So, it was just down to me and I had to remember I was a cat. We might be resourceful but we don’t quite have the resources of humans.

I decided to involve flowers, which all humans seemed to use to woo their women. I thought about the lovely flowers in Polly’s front garden. Surely she could spare a couple of them for me?

I set out to pick some flowers, my plan still hazy but I felt confident that it would come to me. As I poked around in the flower beds, I realized picking flowers wasn’t as easy as it looked. I tried to swipe the flowers with my paw but they just bounced back. Then I tried to scratch at them but that just served to make petals fall off. I tried to get a few, but that wasn’t working, so there was nothing for it, I would have to dig. Digging was hard work — after all, I’m not some hapless dog — and I was beginning to feel as if this wasn’t one of my better ideas, but finally I managed to dig deep enough to grab the flowers by the roots. Sitting, I then used both paws and my mouth to yank them from the ground.

I then faced the problem of how to carry them. All I had available to me was my mouth, so I laid them down, bent my head and picked them up, trying to ignore the earthy taste. I had to admit they didn’t look quite as good as they had in the ground by the time I made my way to Snowball’s house. I hoped that what Claire often said was true; it was the thought that counts.

Snowball’s back garden was deserted, as was the downstairs of the house. I wanted to lay the flowers down but then how would she know that they were from me? I wondered what to do as these slightly destroyed flowers now didn’t feel like such a grand gesture. I looked up at the tree that stood proudly in the garden and I had an idea. If I was in the tree when she saw me, I could climb down and present her with the flowers making the gesture even grander!