Рейчел Уэллс - Alfie And George

‘Are you my new mummy?’ he asked, looking at me hopefully.

‘No, George. I’m male, a boy. A mummy is female.’

‘So you’re my dad?’ he persisted.

‘Well, no. I mean, not really. But if you like, you can think of me like that. But now it’s time for sleep.’

‘OK, Dad.’ George closed his eyes and I curled tighter around his little warm body, feeling an overwhelming need to keep him safe.

I had suddenly and unwittingly become a father.

‘Tiger, it’s not funny,’ I said the following morning, swishing my tail in annoyance as she carried on regardless. I’d managed to get out, although the minute I did, I worried about George. I worried about all my humans, especially the little ones, but this was different; somehow I felt even more responsible for him.

I told him I had to go, which he didn’t seem to understand, but I promised him he’d be fine. He’d quivered as he made me promise I’d be back soon. It was upsetting but I reassured him as much as I could. Poor kid. But Claire and Summer were home, so at least I hadn’t left him on his own. I couldn’t have done that.

‘But it is quite funny,’ Tiger said, swishing her tail back at me, when I recounted how I’d had to show George how to use the litter tray. Claire had tried putting him in it yesterday evening but each time he’d been terrified and scrabbled straight back out. Then little Summer tried to play with the tray, which sent Claire crazy, and so she had to explain to Summer to keep out at all costs while trying to encourage George to use it. Humans! They really had very little idea sometimes.

So when no one was around I explained to George what it was used for, why he had to use it for now, and how it wouldn’t hurt him. Embarrassingly, I then had to pretend to do my toileting in it by way of a practical demonstration. Although he had been caught short in the kitchen this morning, he had almost got the hang of it already, thanks to me.

‘Just the idea of you in the litter tray,’ Tiger finished, still laughing.

‘Tiger, listen, yesterday all I had to do was indulge my broken heart and now I’m responsible for a kitten. I can only go out when someone lets me out and ditto back in, which is no good for a doorstep cat is it?’

She tilted her head in sympathy. ‘When can George go out?’

‘Claire said a few weeks. He has to have some stuff done at the vet first. I didn’t listen past the word vet.’ I shuddered.

‘Sounds as if you’re fond of him already.’

‘Well, you can’t help it. Oh, Tiger, you should see him — he’s a bit like a mini you actually. So cute, and I know he’s going to be very handsome when he grows up. And clever! I mean he picked up the litter tray so quickly, and he’s got these lovely eyes and such sweet whiskers, I can’t wait for you to meet him …’

‘Oh, Alfie, you sound like a proud parent. You’ll be getting the photos out next.’

‘Don’t be silly, cats can’t take photos,’ I snapped, but I saw what she meant. I had been put under George’s spell. I sounded like Claire when she talked about Summer, or Matt when he talked about his two. It seemed I had definitely taken to parenthood, and although I still wasn’t happy in myself, I had to admit that George kept me so busy I barely had time to pine for my beloved Snowball.

‘By the way, Alfie, another picture went up yesterday. That makes four cat pictures on lampposts.’

Again, I felt something niggling at me. I felt like I knew what this was but I couldn’t quite remember. ‘Are the cats from Edgar Road?’ I asked.

‘No, none of them, or if they are we’ve never seen them,’ Tiger said. It seemed unlikely that they were from Edgar Road: though not all the cats on our road were friends, and some kept themselves to themselves, we would still recognise most of them.

‘I wonder what it is.’

‘Well, the others think it’s some kind of cat beauty contest. You know, the owners putting the pictures up of their cats as a way of boasting.’

I narrowed my eyes at Tiger suspiciously. ‘Tiger, you do know that that makes absolutely no sense don’t you?’

‘Well, I’m not sure.’

‘If it was then don’t you think my picture would be up there?’

‘Oh, Alfie, you are one vain cat.’

‘OK, fine. But they would have put up a picture of the new kitten, George, at the very least. He’s the best-looking cat around. Next to me.’

‘I get your point. Perhaps your owners will put your pictures up soon, and then we’ll know. And if it’s not some weird competition among humans, then what is it?’

‘Look, I have enough on my plate with my new charge but I’ll figure it out, I promise.’

I reluctantly left Tiger to go and play in the park and then I popped into Polly and Matt’s house to say hello. I couldn’t neglect my families totally for my kitten. In any case, I was sure that Summer, who seemed to think George — or Deorge, as she called him — was her new toy, would be taking care of him, or terrorising him, but hopefully the former.

I felt amazingly free as I leapt through the cat flap and padded into Polly and Matt’s kitchen, where to my surprise they were both sitting at the table. I knew Henry would be at school and Martha at pre-school, but Matt would normally be at work at this time and I’d have Polly to myself. She had been doing something called ‘interior design’ for the last two years and had just finished her course. Apparently she was very good at it, which you could tell because their house was incredibly beautiful, and it was all down to her. She had also helped Claire make our house much better, although she had had to try and combine the Jonathan’s minimalist taste with Claire’s love of scatter cushions, which apparently wasn’t easy. More recently, she had helped big Tomasz redesign his restaurant. Although she didn’t work too much, she had picked up some freelance work now and then, as the children weren’t at home so much.

I went up to Polly first but she looked at me and blinked as if she hadn’t really seen me.

‘Hi, Alfie,’ she said eventually, bending down to stroke me, although it was clearly half-hearted. Matt didn’t even acknowledge me. I immediately knew something was wrong, I could feel it in my fur. I felt my heart drop even further — it would be in my paws at this rate.

‘Look, love, it’s not the end of the world. I know that you loved your job but you’re so talented and you’ll find another one,’ Polly said, giving Matt’s hand a squeeze. I rubbed Matt’s legs in reassurance but he didn’t seem to notice. He’d lost his job? How? This seemed to have come from nowhere.

‘Maybe. I mean, I will, yes, but you know what the economy’s like right now, it’s going to take time. And we have two kids, a mortgage … How the hell are we going to manage?’

‘Well,’ Polly started.‘I know it’s not ideal but I did get that offer from DF Design. I know I turned it down, but—’

‘I thought you didn’t want the job?’ Matt looked surprised.

‘I wanted to work for them but the job was full time and I was hoping for part time so I could work around the kids. When I told them I couldn’t do it, not with the kids, they said to call them if I changed my mind. I didn’t want to work full time, but it’s on a contract basis so maybe, just until you sort yourself out, I could try it? It’s not as much money as you were earning but at least we’d have something coming in.’ She didn’t exactly look thrilled, but then this was a shock.

‘I can’t believe this has happened, no warning, the whole company gone under. None of us even saw it coming’. Matt clenched his fists. He was normally so laid back but he was definitely angry, and hurting, and I immediately felt upset for them both.