Sergei Kravchenko - 53 Advices for Juliet

Overwhelming relationships force you to approach the other one as a child. He won’t be able to reveal his capabilities and natural gifts of a grown up in such a relationship. It will destroy his personality. Over time he will lose his face and dignity. He will be easily influenced by others. Usually such people start to search for an escape and strength in alcohol, drugs or other addictive behavior, that destroys their health.

Lifestyles that bring harm to own health reflect lack of self-love. That’s a fast lane to death.

A latent image of death will start enveloping your relationships. It always leads to unjustified risks whether it concerns money, or profession. It also leads to disorder in personal life and at home. For instance, it can be gambling, approaching work without preparation, accidental sex or accidental friends.

You can create an equal relationship if you respect your chosen one and you know how to find a mutual understanding. If he lost your respect – that is still not a reason to get out of such a relationship. If you cannot mutually agree on something at this particular moment – that is not a reason to deny the possibility of finding such an understanding in the future.

Life will always keep providing you with complicated problems that you will need to solve. So you will need to keep learning how to maintain an equal relationship. Relationships require skills, experience and attention of both partners. They are possible only if both of you are capable of coming to an agreement even in the most difficult situations.

Equal relationships will always be possible if you are capable of respecting the other person and if you feel respect from his side as well.

Without equal relationships we are forced to either submit ourselves to the other people, or to dominate them, or to leave from those relationships completely.

Feelings can be mistaken for a relationship.

If you are treated well you may in return start experiencing feelings of sympathy and attachment. But those are not the feelings on which you can build strong and long lasting connections that should lead to creation of a family.

It is important to find out what lies behind that special attitude towards you. Good treatment might have mercantile goals.

Feelings can arise in spite of relationships, or even without them. For instance, when you love a person who treats you coldly, or who completely doesn’t know you.

Usually relationships follow a rational mind, and feelings come from the heart. Cherish those relationships that are full of sincere and high feelings.

There are only three types of reaction on love:

1. To fight for it;

2. Resignation to the circumstances;

3. Exiting from the relationship.

Fights may take place in different forms – starting from elimination of minor obstacles in relationships and search for opportunities of meeting with the loved one, and down to open duels with a competitor, for example.

Resignation always has only one form – voluntary submission to the circumstances or somebody else’s will. It is a humility due to recognition of the fact that the loved, whom you would like to reach, remains unreachable for you for the moment or definitely.

Exit from the relationship take on different shapes – beginning the range with the case when we physically leave by slamming the door behind us and ending it with alcohol, drugs or suicide.

I highly recommend here for any girl to try light forms of fight and exits. An example: you get slightly closer to each other and show mutual signs of attention, or you drift apart and decrease you interest in each other.

Resignation, being the greatest virtue, can be used fully and anytime. You will never regret it.

Your heart has chosen Him and heart cannot be ordered otherwise.

But yet there is something that you can do in addition to your feelings. You can find out more about your chosen man. You can get to know him, his parents and his friends better. Based on what you have found out, try to imagine the development of your relationship. If the potential picture of your future suits you, then you can follow the path towards their realization.

Do not prevent yourself from being prudent and from being respectful to your body and soul if you want them to keep developing.

In relationships and feelings you should always choose only life and development. Refuse everything that leads to downfall and destruction.

***

In order for you, my dear Juliets, to properly sort out your own feelings and relationships you should pay close attention to separate qualities and traits of your chosen one. What do I mean by that?

If he has a war experience or he practices martial arts, then he will be able to protect you and the whole family in difficult times.

However if you tie your life with somebody who has a combat experience be ready to encounter reminders of it in your own house. During conflict situations he may just react to you without thinking, to your relatives or pets. As if he was in a battle.

If he saw a lot of deaths, or even more – directly participated in it, then without any doubt his experience will reflect on your relationship and on your life around you. Think it through if you are ready for you and your future children to meet with echoes of such experiences.

If he is rich you should understand from where he has those riches – what is the source. Depending on what you will find out your relationship may continue developing itself or will disappear.

Think again. Isn’t he buying you? Aren’t you selling yourself? What are you going to bring into his life? Are you capable of developing yourself and becoming more valuable in his eyes? Or are you going to be his toy for a while?

It would be a sound idea to set and sign a prenuptial and marriage agreement if you have decided to marry. In such case your expectations and his plans will be aligned from the beginning and you won’t be disappointed in the future.