Slava Makovich - You. Step-by-step guide to self understanding, managing and developing

Proofreader Kristina Isaeva

Cover Designer Ilya Tikhomirov

© Slava Makovich, 2022

ISBN 978-5-0059-1037-0

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

This book is the thing that I want to leave behind.

Below I’m going to share my helpful life principles, useful tools for self-management and specific instructions for specific situations. Everything that I would be glad to have myself when I was at the beginning of my journey, and everything that I want to convey to my children.

As short as possible, consistently practical and sometimes quite debatable.

Use, make notes, add your ideas. I hope that this book will bring you closer to noticing a piece of happiness in every day, to finding a teacher in every significant event, in creating meaning in every purposeful action and in revealing a new world in every person…

Wish you a pleasant and productive reading.

Right now, you have a huge number of options for your future. Do they depend on your past? Of course! But they are not determined by it.

The most important thing is to understand exactly what kind of past you need to have in your future to have the kind of success you want. And then systematically create such a past.

In essence, what we are doing at any given moment is creating a pattern of our past consisting of experiences, memories, and physical changes.

Those segments of the past that improve us and reveal our inherent potential go to the asset, those that are not – fly away without a trace…

Keep track of what remains in the bottom line from each of the activities , especially those that seem extremely important at first glance.

A botanist, a hunter, a painter and a lumberjack see the forest in completely different ways.

The same situation through the eyes of different people is almost always different. Sometimes drastically. And at the same time, everyone can be right in their own way and not guess that their “truth” is not the only one.

Always try to look at a situation from different perspectives and never completely trust one point of view, even if it is yours.

Trust people, but don’t take anything as absolute, unshakable truth.

Everyone, even great minds, constantly has made, do make, and will make mistakes, which sometimes even seem as significant wisdoms. You as well can sometimes be wrong. That’s okay. Don’t conflate yourself with your point of view.

And don’t be afraid to move it with facts. But try to separate opinions from facts. Including opinions about facts from facts.

“Today is good weather” is an opinion (for different people, good weather can be different), “today, in my opinion, 60 °” is an opinion about a fact, “today it’s 59 °F” is a fact, “today it’s 59 °Fon the thermometer and it’s raining” – a more complete set of facts.

Gain experience to understand what set of facts you need for a satisfactory accurate understanding of the situation. Think about what your opinion is based on, and communicate more often with smart people, including those who do not share your views.

Any event is neutral. We can’t judge any event exactly whether it’s good or bad. Because, firstly, we do not know what the desirable alternative event would have led to (for example, an athlete who lost in the semi-finals could be seriously injured in the final), and, secondly, we do not know what the current event will eventually lead to (for example, being fired can serve as an impetus for starting your successful business).

Certainly it is necessary to have certain preferences in advance, because having inspiring goals is good for productivity and happiness levels, but you don’t need to judge events after they have already happened. Kill your internal examiner of life. Dream, act, plan, predict, feel, but don’t be against what happens to you , as well as what happens in the world around you.

Practice the ability to separate your assessment of events and emotions. Remove the first, notice and use the second.

Practice the skill of separating your desires and expectations that they are bound to come true. Take away the second, heed and intelligently implement the first.

That’s it! Forget the past and the unfulfilled alternatives. That’s the current situation, that’s what you have to work with, that’s the current “0” (Zero) point.

Could it be better? It could be better, but it isn’t! This is your current “0” point. So, put the past experiences into your knowledge baggage and move toward your “1”.

Could it be worse? Naturally!!! Be thankful that it didn’t, and go back.

You are always in the current situation , even if your thoughts are in the past or have already fled forward. Come them back.

Stop the struggles of the past, draw conclusions and turn the page, moving on with your unique pattern of memories, skills and connections.

Every day is a gift.

Every morning you get a new vessel that you can fill with something good, memorable and useful or faded and sad. It depends on your decisions and perception filter settings, because there are always reasons both to whine and rejoice.

To make it easier for you to make a positive cocktail, don’t lose your sense of gratitude to life for the shipment of vessels. It does, after all, in spite of the gigantic number of possibilities for stopping the supply, from a big solar flare to a small but very tenacious virus.

Every new day is a time to receive a gift that is far more valuable than any political slogans, religious beliefs, love frustrations or domestic problems. Every new day is an opportunity to use it in such a way to be able to remember it with joy or pride and to realize the opportunity to thank the world for having you in it. Each new day is the potential pleasure of being.

We may have formal bosses and teachers, but everyone is ultimately accountable to themselves for the only thing we really have (I mean, Life). And as we know, accountability, unlike tasks, can’t be delegated.

When working for yourself, there are four important roles in relation to yourself that need to be discerned, accepted, executed in a proper time, and improved. You are simultaneously the owner, manager, doer and observer of your life.

– High-quality performance of the role of a Doer allows you to efficiently (including not being distracted) perform the tasks intended by the Manager.

– High-quality performance of the role of a Manager allows you to take your head out off current affairs, consciously make the necessary adjustments and plan for future victory. You can manage, among other things, your states, actions, thoughts, thereby influencing the probabilities of future events.

– High-quality performance of the role of an Owner allows you to be not just efficient, but efficient in achieving really actual goals by understanding what you really want, setting priorities and limitations.

– High-quality performance of the role of an Observer allows you to “reboot”, change your perception and get a more adequate picture of the world. It is possible to fulfill this role, for example, through meditation, contemplation of beautiful natural phenomena, absorption of books, music, movies, performances…