Hanna Daysi - When stones cry. Когда плачут камни

But I heard it, it was the real laughing! And I no longer looked at the stones as something inanimate, as if they became friends for me. Sooner I understood. I was surprised at this for nothing, because my happiness was enjoying the land of my homeland with me. Those same stones laughed at it. They laughed at it voice! I was the best partworker, always the first, as Byrd- always in good standing. We are the ideal Soviet family. Later we born a ball of happiness with pink heels who we called Cha-Borz (in translation – wolf bear). In the same year, the Great Patriotic War began. I visited military registration and enlistment office and asked for go to war without any doubts. I got refuse but I proved that I am a good sniper. But words couldn’t help me. A year later, the enemy has already overtaken the city of Malgobek. Byrd and I took part in the defense, leaving year-old Cha-Borz and his mother. Everything ended successfully – the enemy was abandoned by Malgobek. If it were not for the cooperation of the Ossetians with the Germans, they could probably cope several times faster. But what difference does it make if we have already won a small one, but still a victory? I felt an extraordinary pride that exploded in a flash of pleasant heat in my chest. I breathed deeply and realized that, despite the strength of the enemy, we were able to overcome everything and protect our land. Looking at my comrades, I looked into their eyes and smiled, knowing that they, too, could not hold back their joy. Each of us was proud of each other, for himself and everyone who helped this happen. After this battle I and my husband were awarded. We were happy and glad to serve our homeland faithfully. Byrd was took on the front-frank in this year too. I remember how I steadfastly conducted him without any tears but I will not lie – I suffered crazy pain of separation. I convinced myself that Byrd needs homeland more than me however, fear for him and for us prevailed over me and all my feminine nature. Time by time beloved sent me letters from the front and I read it for my son. And so… I got to the fateful date, the twenty-third of February 1944 is the date from which my life was divided into «before» and «after.» I was called to the regional party committee on the twenty-second of February they gave me a permit for unimpeded movement and asked to agitate the people not to resist exile. I was assured that they would evict only traitors. It was given special task -agitate the nearest villages. Just in case I asked sniper rifle and climbing equipment and I got consent. In the end, they trusted me one hundred percent. I calmed my mother-in-law, saying that I would go back home, put the child to bed and went on a journey at night, somewhere in the hour. This night – twenty-third of February, 1944. Remember, I only stepped on the mountain being in way about one hour and I heard sounds and screams from side of village. I was not be slow and did not think about anything which is not means. I ran really fast forgetting how much time it can take again. It makes no sense to describe the panic which mastered my body at return. My house was empty. My and other, only the noise of cars leaving away was heard in the distance. I instantly saddled a horse and rushed after it. I did not catch up with the car, but I arrived at the nearest station, where my nation people were loaded into cattle cars. Using the case, I ran from railway carriage to railway carriage and looked for son, mother-in-law. I screamed, almost yelled, called them, but the crying of thousands of women and children interrupted everything. They, like ordinary cattle, were loaded into cold, unheated cars. And then – just like in a dream. I remembered only the words of some old man who shouted at those who were crying. «Calm down, we will not be taken to where there is no Allah!» -it was his instruction. The unhappy people calmed down, the districts plunged into complete silence… I remember how they pushed me away from the railway carriage, and then – the sound of wheels and nothing more. A void arose in my chest, and I put my hand on my heart, trying to at least somehow occupy it. But instead, I felt something moving away from me, flowing through my fingers like sand. The confusion turned into a burning stunned, and misunderstanding in the very present impotence. Not believing that I lost my son and mother-in-law, I tried to say something, to call for help, but I could not. The last thing I did was to glance somewhere on the railroad and noticed how the metal silhouette of the train disappeared. I woke up because I was shaking by the shoulders. The secret companion was my colleague, part worker Ivan. Also he was friend of our family. Let’s go Dasy, the political party needs you» – he whispered, I did not understand what he meant. And through some minutes I felt terrible insight- l have mother and brothers, maybe I can still protect them. I have not seen Ivan anymore. And I did not want to see him because I was stifled by envy and I hated people who had whole families. I remember how pushed up Ivan, jumped to the horse and after a few seconds rushed to the castle in which my mother live and after a few seconds rushed to the castled. I felt crazy horror when I crossed Fortange (river) but I had a hope and moved on. I haven’t got the habit to give up. Even in such hard time I believed – there is the road which leads forward. … But if in my house I was met only by emptiness, the castle ««Aegi Chozh» was not empty. Is it happiness? By no means. It was full of corpses. My dear mother, the most gentle and kind woman in the world, the one to whom I owe my life, lay with a broken head and hugged my younger brother, whose body was riddled with bullets. He was not taken to the front because of his age. I don’t remember whether I was crying or howling, whether I was tearing off my nails on hard crumbs. Only the earth was incredibly hard to dig when she dug it to bury them. I first thought about what the first pain is. Looking around at the onset of tension, I could not understand why I could hear this deafening silence. And then I glanced at the stones. They were all silent but waited for the moment to mourn those who are now buried in the ground. To mourn in silence without tears and with a groan which is only heard by them. Two my brothers were on the front and their families lived apart. One – in Jeyrakh, the second – in the Prigorodny district. By an inhuman effort of will, I convinced myself that at least everything was fine with them, buried mother and younger brother, and then rushed off to Jayrah. When I manager to get there, I saw people from the mountain and felt a shine of spark of hope- it means that there are alive people, and there are not empty and corpses like in other villages. For joy (could I still experience joy?…) I rushed faster until I did not noticed chord of people which was led towards Hamhi. When I managed to get there, I saw people from the mountain and felt a spark of hope shine somewhere inside – it means that there are living things here, and not emptiness and corpses, as in other settlements. For joy (could I still experience joy?) rushed faster, until she noticed how a crowd of people were led towards Hamhi. «They were certainly arrested and taken somewhere for detention… But at least they are alive, they are alive!» – I thought so when I called my daughter-in-law, nephews. People were too far away, nobody heard me and nobody answered. The village disappeared out of sight of the trees, when I came down from the mountain, spurred my horse and rushed after people at full speed. Oh, Allah, what I saw then… T

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